The Second Apocalypse

Earwa => General Earwa => Topic started by: mrganondorf on May 24, 2014, 01:01:58 pm

Title: Earwan Jokes
Post by: mrganondorf on May 24, 2014, 01:01:58 pm: Some attempts at corny Earwan jokes:

Yo mama so fat, you gotta cross Shigek, the Carathay, and Eummarna just get on her good side!

How many Shrial priests does it take to roof a house? Depends on how thin you slice 'em!

A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: What.
B: What who?
A: WHAT WHO YOU SEE?
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: mrganondorf on September 20, 2014, 05:41:00 pm: http://memegenerator.net/instance/54517440
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: mrganondorf on October 14, 2014, 04:56:11 pm: Quinthane is going to hate me...

My reaction when I visit the WC before class but don't remember to zip the zipper:

http://memegenerator.net/instance/55292544
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Wilshire on October 14, 2014, 05:33:50 pm: lmao
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: mrganondorf on March 03, 2015, 07:44:16 pm: Knock knock.
Who's there?
Aurang.
Aurang who?
Aurang but your doorbell doesn't work.

How many Shrial priests does it take to shingle a roof?
Depends on how thin you slice them!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Kian.
Kian who?
Kian Peele is a great show.

You mama so fat, her pants size is "Golgotterath."

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Gnosis.
Gnosis who?
Gnosis, mom loves me more.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To find SALVATION
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: SilentRoamer on March 03, 2015, 07:54:42 pm: MG that Aurang joke is golden. Aurang is ripe for jokes.

Q: Why would Aurang not bother with Earth?
A: Too interested in Uranus.
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: mrganondorf on March 03, 2015, 08:07:11 pm: Quote from: SilentRoamer on March 03, 2015, 07:54:42 pm
MG that Aurang joke is golden. Aurang is ripe for jokes.

Q: Why would Aurang not bother with Earth?
A: Too interested in Uranus.

lol! this is a joke for Shauriatus! seriously tho, i worry about that guy's tail pipe
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: mrganondorf on March 04, 2015, 12:56:55 am: Knock knock.
Who's there?
Nilnu.
Nilnu who?
Nilnu not to tell stupid jokes.
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: mrganondorf on March 08, 2015, 12:50:49 am: How many sranc does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just two, but they have to be really tiny.
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Somnambulist on March 13, 2015, 10:31:28 pm: Some Inchoroi humor :)

http://spiralhorizon.deviantart.com/art/72-365-519953263 (http://spiralhorizon.deviantart.com/art/72-365-519953263)
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: mrganondorf on March 15, 2015, 11:48:35 pm: Quote from: Somnambulist on March 13, 2015, 10:31:28 pm
Some Inchoroi humor :)

http://spiralhorizon.deviantart.com/art/72-365-519953263 (http://spiralhorizon.deviantart.com/art/72-365-519953263)

lol, day in the life of the Consult!
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: mrganondorf on October 07, 2015, 04:29:11 pm: Scott kno how 2 writer:

https://i.imgflip.com/s6jry.jpg
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: mrganondorf on October 07, 2015, 04:48:42 pm: Saccarees fav smash bros character:

http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/ssb/images/d/d1/Meta_Knight_KRTDL.png/revision/latest?cb=20140414070321
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: mrganondorf on October 07, 2015, 06:04:28 pm: it seems that someone has listed Bakker quotes on an inspirational quotes site

http://likesuccess.com/author/r-scott-bakker
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: mrganondorf on March 21, 2016, 11:07:36 pm: https://i.imgur.com/gallery/PNRQD
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Wilshire on April 07, 2016, 07:07:35 pm: Quote from: mrganondorf on October 07, 2015, 06:04:28 pm
it seems that someone has listed Bakker quotes on an inspirational quotes site

http://likesuccess.com/author/r-scott-bakker
I'm not sure that qualifies as a joke, but I certainly applaud the efforts.
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Redeagl on May 06, 2016, 10:14:24 pm: That moment when there is a mini dust storm and some dust enters your eye and you can't see anything for a minute
"Now I am going to be a Cishaurim "

That moment when you have to go to a place that is far and you have to go walking and you are very tired and the sun is hot...
"Shimeh is too far,father "
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: mrganondorf on May 07, 2016, 04:44:23 pm: Lol, I like it Redeagl!

MFW i haven't had my coffee and realize that i'm a soulless monstrosity of the tekne:

http://quintvc.deviantart.com/art/Bne-578006464

Quote from: Redeagl on May 06, 2016, 10:14:24 pm
That moment when there is a mini dust storm and some dust enters your eye and you can't see anything for a minute
"Now I am going to be a Cishaurim "

That moment when you have to go to place that is far and you have to go walking and you are very tired and the sun is hot...
"Shimeh is too far,father "
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Redeagl on January 26, 2017, 01:19:09 am: I thought of a very bland joke, once there were two people one had huge fame,the other had huge Inri Sejenus. Don't curse me please.
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Francis Buck on January 26, 2017, 02:10:37 pm: Why did the young student fail his final exam in the School of Mangaecca?

Because he couldn't properly argue his mathesis.
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 04, 2017, 09:16:02 pm: A man, a Nonman, and a Sranc walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kinda joke?"

Famous last words (said to a Nonman): "So, how's the wife?"

A cop on the beat happens upon a Nonman beating the holy crap out of some guy outside of a bar. The cop shouts, "Hey, what the hell you doing beating that guy up?" The Nonman stops, turns to the cop and says, "Sorry, officer. I'm just trying to remember where I parked my car."

Never invite a sorcerer to karaoke night. It never ends well.
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 04, 2017, 09:19:03 pm: Boy, I'd love to see Simon Cowell try to tell Drusas Achamian that his singing was a little "pitchy"....
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 04, 2017, 09:29:29 pm: Tell you what the Inchoroi should do, if the Tekne is so great: They should erect the biggest motherfucking electronic billboard (or hoarding, for you tiresome wankers across the pond) right between the horns of the Ark, and it should read "Coming Soon.....The No-God!" They could intercut it with Old Earth footage of the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes, then cut to ol' Count Floyd from SCTV going "Whoooo! Scary!"

The Nonmen won't know whether to shit or wind their watches.
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
Yeah, I seem to be working up an Eärwan stand-up routine...
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Wilshire on April 04, 2017, 11:31:04 pm: Lmao beardfisher, those are great.
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 05, 2017, 03:31:57 am: Quote from: Wilshire on April 04, 2017, 11:31:04 pm
Lmao beardfisher, those are great.

I'm just warming up. Wait til the "Psûkhe me!" tour comes to a comedy club near you. Or should I call it "The Even Greater Ordeal"?
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes (TSA "Spoilers")
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 05, 2017, 05:13:31 am: This post was moved to its own topic.

The Great Eärwan Stand-Up Comedy Routine (http://www.second-apocalypse.com/index.php?topic=2130.msg32752#msg32752)
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 05, 2017, 01:01:52 pm: More jokes:

"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
<long pause> "A Nonman"
"A Nonman who?"
<long pause> "Fuck if I know....."

Kellhus walks into a bar. The bartender looks up, sees the two Decapitants hanging from Kellhus' girdle, and says "Sweet Sejenus, what the fuck are those things?" Kellhus sits on a barstool and replies, "These are the heads of the two previous bartenders at this establishment. I drink for free. Any questions?"
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 07, 2017, 03:21:13 pm: And....one mo 'gin:

Never, I mean never, play poker with a Dûnyain. You might as well toss your fucking wallet on the table and leave. (Actually, I'm going to incorporate this gem into the stand-up routine above....)
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: themerchant on April 07, 2017, 07:25:36 pm: He can still know what you have and get a bad beat.

A tilting Dunyain might be funny.
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 07, 2017, 08:14:54 pm: Quote from: themerchant on April 07, 2017, 07:25:36 pm
He can still know what you have and get a bad beat.

A tilting Dunyain might be funny.
A Dûnyain on tilt......sounds like Koringhus! "Pick a card...any card....it does not matter which card."

It could be very funny: "Probability Trance.....oh, screw that! I'll see your hundo and raise you five!"
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: NronFisher on April 13, 2017, 06:35:28 am: So I'm seeing this girl, or as I call her, a 'Nonman.' BA DUM TISH
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 13, 2017, 03:15:35 pm: Hey, a fellow jokester! Excellent! We jesters need to stick together. Carry on, sir.

Hey, is she.....Erratic?

(Asking if she's "Intact".....hey, that's just not gentlemanly.)
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Redeagl on April 18, 2017, 09:41:11 am: I will probably get banned after this but..... I INTRODUCE TO YOU REDEAGL'S LIST OF EÄRWAN HORRIBLE PUNS!

1-Once an Anasûrimbor father had two sons, one he names Anasûrimbor Möenghus, the other was named Anasûrimbor Möenghthem.

2- Once there was a Shrial priest who download the Tusk from the Maithanet.

3-After the Cûno-Inchoroi war only two Inchoroi survived, Aurax and Aursword.

4- When the No- God was in the Norsirai lands the Kyraneans were afraid of Mog-Phrau, when the No-God came to them, they were afraid of Mog-Closeau.

5-Once there was a spice merchant who was travelling across Eärwa, first he visited High Anion, then he visited High Garlic.
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 18, 2017, 12:19:40 pm: Sweet Sejenus, Redeagl...... ;D
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Stevan on April 18, 2017, 12:27:12 pm: Hahahaha I'm dying
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Redeagl on April 18, 2017, 12:35:12 pm: Quote from: Beardfisher King on April 18, 2017, 12:19:40 pm
Sweet Sejenus, Redeagl...... ;D
That's what the Inrithi say. Fanim say Sour Sejenus.
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 18, 2017, 12:51:02 pm: Quote from: Redeagl on April 18, 2017, 12:35:12 pm
Quote from: Beardfisher King on April 18, 2017, 12:19:40 pm
Sweet Sejenus, Redeagl...... ;D
That's what the Inrithi say. Fanim say Sour Sejenus.
Gonna be a long morning.....smh!
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Redeagl on April 18, 2017, 12:54:17 pm: Quote from: Beardfisher King on April 18, 2017, 12:51:02 pm
Quote from: Redeagl on April 18, 2017, 12:35:12 pm
Quote from: Beardfisher King on April 18, 2017, 12:19:40 pm
Sweet Sejenus, Redeagl...... ;D
That's what the Inrithi say. Fanim say Sour Sejenus.

Gonna be a long morning.....smh!
3 hours from now and I will post the second half of the pun list...Then you will truly die ( evil laughter intensifies).
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Redeagl on April 18, 2017, 03:18:23 pm: Aaaaand we are BACK! With REDEAGL'S HORRIBLE PUNS PART 2

1- Anasûrimbor Möenghthem named his son Anasûrimbor Kellhthem and he kelled them indeed...

2- Do you know why the Norsirai are homophobic? because they are from Gae loath.

3-There were Inrithi factions and Outrithi factions in Eärwa.

4- There are two empires: the Nansur empire and the Nan not so sure empire.

5-Do you know what is Europe's most holy land? it is the Holy AmotEU.

6- Once there were two celebrities, one had huge fame, the other had huge Inri Sejenus.

7- There were two Nansur emperors: Xerius and Xerno.
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 18, 2017, 04:11:44 pm: Gag me with an Agonic Collar......
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Redeagl on April 18, 2017, 04:15:01 pm: Do you know what a FACEbook is? it is this :
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 18, 2017, 08:21:45 pm: Quote from: Redeagl on April 18, 2017, 03:18:23 pm
Aaaaand we are BACK! With REDEAGL'S HORRIBLE PUNS PART 2

1- Anasûrimbor Möenghthem named his son Anasûrimbor Kellhthem and he kelled them indeed...

2- Do you know why the Norsirai are homophobic? because they are from Gae loath.

3-There were Inrithi factions and Outrithi factions in Eärwa.

4- There are two empires: the Nansur empire and the Nan not so sure empire.

5-Do you know what is Europe's most holy land? it is the Holy AmotEU.

6- Once there were two celebrities, one had huge fame, the other had huge Inri Sejenus.

7- There were two Nansur emperors: Xerius and Xerno.

7.a. What is the full name of Xerius? Xerius az-ahar Tattak!
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Redeagl on April 18, 2017, 08:23:51 pm: Quote from: Beardfisher King on April 18, 2017, 08:21:45 pm
Quote from: Redeagl on April 18, 2017, 03:18:23 pm
Aaaaand we are BACK! With REDEAGL'S HORRIBLE PUNS PART 2

1- Anasûrimbor Möenghthem named his son Anasûrimbor Kellhthem and he kelled them indeed...

2- Do you know why the Norsirai are homophobic? because they are from Gae loath.

3-There were Inrithi factions and Outrithi factions in Eärwa.

4- There are two empires: the Nansur empire and the Nan not so sure empire.

5-Do you know what is Europe's most holy land? it is the Holy AmotEU.

6- Once there were two celebrities, one had huge fame, the other had huge Inri Sejenus.

7- There were two Nansur emperors: Xerius and Xerno.

7.a. What is the full name of Xerius? Xerius az-ahar Tattak!
I admit my ignorance :( and DEMAND explanation for this Holy PUN.
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 18, 2017, 08:45:32 pm: Quote from: Redeagl on April 18, 2017, 08:23:51 pm
Quote from: Beardfisher King on April 18, 2017, 08:21:45 pm
Quote from: Redeagl on April 18, 2017, 03:18:23 pm
Aaaaand we are BACK! With REDEAGL'S HORRIBLE PUNS PART 2

1- Anasûrimbor Möenghthem named his son Anasûrimbor Kellhthem and he kelled them indeed...

2- Do you know why the Norsirai are homophobic? because they are from Gae loath.

3-There were Inrithi factions and Outrithi factions in Eärwa.

4- There are two empires: the Nansur empire and the Nan not so sure empire.

5-Do you know what is Europe's most holy land? it is the Holy AmotEU.

6- Once there were two celebrities, one had huge fame, the other had huge Inri Sejenus.

7- There were two Nansur emperors: Xerius and Xerno.

7.a. What is the full name of Xerius? Xerius az-ahar Tattak!
I admit my ignorance :( and DEMAND explanation for this Holy PUN.
Phonetic puns are my favorites.
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Wilshire on April 19, 2017, 01:18:26 pm: Az-ahar Tattak -> sounds like -> "has a heart attack"
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Redeagl on April 19, 2017, 01:47:28 pm: Quote from: Wilshire on April 19, 2017, 01:18:26 pm
Az-ahar Tattak -> sounds like -> "has a heart attack"
It's "serious as a heart attack" :)
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Wilshire on April 19, 2017, 01:57:27 pm: There we go, we did it!
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 19, 2017, 02:14:47 pm: Bravo, gents! "Xerius az-ahar Tattak".....damn good one, if I must say so myself (and, yes, it appears that I must).😊
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: mrganondorf on April 20, 2017, 04:14:52 pm: @ FB - Oh god, school of mangaecca lol

@ BK - LOL nonman trying to remember where he parked his car! i am loving your stand up experience

@ NF - i guess you could call ladies that, lol

@ Redeagl - oh your horrible puns are horrible, i love it! maitha-net! gae-loath! lol xerius/no oh my
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Francis Buck on April 21, 2017, 11:41:50 pm: How has the Consult been controlling Earwa?

They've been putting stuff in the Water.

-----------------

A veteran of the Holy War returns home to his family, and his wife asks him what the water's like in Shimeh. He shrugs.

"Meh, psukhe."
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Redeagl on April 23, 2017, 03:50:56 pm: Eärwa and Eyewa

If someone reversed "Yes Sir! " it would be "Sir,Yes!" which is the name of the second to last Nansur emperor.
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Francis Buck on April 24, 2017, 05:11:12 am: Quote from: Redeagl on April 23, 2017, 03:50:56 pm
Eärwa and Eyewa

If some reversed "Yes Sir! " it would be "Sir,Yes!" which is the name of the second to last Nansur emperor.

Earwa also is also an anagram of Aware. Coincidence?

The World conspires...
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: mrganondorf on April 25, 2017, 01:35:16 am: THIS IS MY FAV THREAD

@ FB - THE WATER!

@ REDEAGL - EYEWA! :P
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 25, 2017, 02:01:43 am: MG, I just saw Eyewa. Redeagl is a fucking genius.
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: mrganondorf on April 25, 2017, 03:52:11 am: Quote from: Beardfisher King on April 25, 2017, 02:01:43 am
MG, I just saw Eyewa. Redeagl is a fucking genius.

I NOMINATE REDEAGL FOR PUN-KING OF THE WORLD
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 25, 2017, 03:57:47 am: Quote from: MAJOR_GORMLESS on April 25, 2017, 03:52:11 am
Quote from: Beardfisher King on April 25, 2017, 02:01:43 am
MG, I just saw Eyewa. Redeagl is a fucking genius.

I NOMINATE REDEAGL FOR PUN-KING OF THE WORLD
Wait, I think Eyewa is one of the United States. Yeah, it's just north of Misery, errr, Missouri.
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: mrganondorf on April 25, 2017, 09:26:09 am: Quote from: Beardfisher King on April 25, 2017, 03:57:47 am
Quote from: MAJOR_GORMLESS on April 25, 2017, 03:52:11 am
Quote from: Beardfisher King on April 25, 2017, 02:01:43 am
MG, I just saw Eyewa. Redeagl is a fucking genius.

I NOMINATE REDEAGL FOR PUN-KING OF THE WORLD
Wait, I think Eyewa is one of the United States. Yeah, it's just north of Misery, errr, Missouri.

I APPRECIATE THIS
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 26, 2017, 09:09:44 am: Coming soon....the epic Achamian Repudiation Rant!

(teaser)

"And you fucking Mandate pricks can kiss my sorcerous ass! Not a single one of you stupid fuckers could find a Consult skin-spy if it was fucking you in the ass."

Soon to appear in "The Greatest Eärwan Stand-Up Comedy Routine EVER!" thread. Don't miss it!
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Redeagl on April 26, 2017, 11:34:29 pm: Quote from: Beardfisher King on April 25, 2017, 03:57:47 am
Quote from: MAJOR_GORMLESS on April 25, 2017, 03:52:11 am
Quote from: Beardfisher King on April 25, 2017, 02:01:43 am
MG, I just saw Eyewa. Redeagl is a fucking genius.

I NOMINATE REDEAGL FOR PUN-KING OF THE WORLD
Wait, I think Eyewa is one of the United States. Yeah, it's just north of Misery, errr, Missouri.
This is humbling.I may be a genius ( chanelling my inner Conphas there ;) ) but I am not fucking, sadly.
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: Redeagl on May 11, 2017, 11:33:08 pm: Once Wutteat was thirsty, so he became Wuttdrink.
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: TaoHorror on May 12, 2017, 01:51:36 am: Not fucking is a good thing, Redeagl. Thank your lucky stars you're not, don't be sad about it.
Title: Re: Earwan Jokes
Post by: BeardFisher-King on May 28, 2017, 01:26:06 am: A new one (I think) :

Which Eärwan nation has the most foul-mouthed citizens?

Kian. Because everyone knows that the Kianese are the most pro-Fane!

(thanks, pail....)