So, whut up with male 'privilege'?

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Callan S.

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« Reply #15 on: May 03, 2013, 03:58:30 am »
Callan, not intending to further Baztek's descriptive point, per say, how do you respond to the simple statistic that most violent offenders are male?
Weve kind of cross posted. Does my reply to Baztek give some responces on that matter?

I know it seems counter intuitive to speak of working on male self esteem. Why put effort into bad apples and all that.

I'm not sure what you think the statistic means to me, Mike? I mean, I can't honestly work on the idea of locking up all men. So some sort of management program is needed - but I don't know what you're saying with that stat, in regard to management programs?

Baztek

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« Reply #16 on: May 03, 2013, 01:55:25 pm »
Callan, your response helped me refine my own ideas. Let me put my position in less stark, misandrist terms: I have a problem with exaggerated masculinity, and low self-esteem coupled with what masculinity demands from a male in distress (aggression, control, claiming what's yours) can turn a tractable problem into a disaster. Throw some booze in there and you know the rest. It can get ugly, brutish, and primitive. But as it stands, despite being denied the luxury of exploring their inner lives without the threat of being called a "faggot", men are still positioned above women in hypermasculine subcultures.

 Look at rap. I dare you to find one young up and coming rapper who has a nice thing to say about his girl. Women are "bitches", status symbols, and just like the bigger the engine in your ride, the more physically endowed your fanclub is the more respect - or hate - you get from the guys around you. I'm not some pasty white nerd on the outside looking in: I've listened to so much rap it's amazing I'm not like that myself.

The point is, while in relation to other men, men are at a disadvantage because "womanly" feelings like compassion and empathy are discouraged, men are still in a position above women. And it's that disgusting, entitled attitude of one disenfranchised male taking it out on an entire gender because his dick isn't getting wet that repulses me to the pith. I will agree the problem isn't necessarily inherent, but with how ingrained these modes of behavior are in our culture, they might as well be.

Callan S.

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« Reply #17 on: May 04, 2013, 06:57:17 am »
I don't understand. I know you want it acknowledged that 'men are still in a position above women'. In terms of the workforce I'd probably agree. But in terms of sexaul objectification and sexaul assault, I would no more say men are above women than I would say a bully is above his victims.

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men are still positioned above women in hypermasculine subcultures.
Do you want to say that if we can just get women respected in these hypermasculine subcultures, then these hypermasculine subcultures would be fine?

To me, it seems 'hypermasculine subculture' == 'bully subculture'. It wouldn't validate them if you got them to respect women (or they'd cease to be a bully subculture)

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The point is, while in relation to other men, men are at a disadvantage because "womanly" feelings like compassion and empathy are discouraged, men are still in a position above women.
I'm trying to understand the crux of the conversation here - I'm almost reading a subtext here that men are always in a position above women? And men have to 'stay their hand' or something in regards to that?

Might not be what you're saying, but I'd disagree with it - men are more psychotic. I don't treat this as being 'above' anything. Chaos is chaotic, not some sort of order of above and below, some sort of structure. It's more like being a hacker who wrecks structure for their own selfish benefit. The hacker isn't above anyone in the structure as he wrecks that very structure.

I'm just guessing because I think were kinda talking past each other or something, just missing each other, and I'm trying to guess what the gap is?
« Last Edit: May 04, 2013, 07:00:36 am by Callan S. »

Meyna

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« Reply #18 on: May 04, 2013, 01:18:29 pm »
In our culture, as it stands having evolved to the point it is now, we still see an ingrained superiority of men over women. Granted, it has evolved past, for example, women not being able to vote or hold positions of responsibility because of made-up reasons, but what remains is a subtle dominance/submission dynamic. Women are expected to respond a certain way in the face of the initiation of this dynamic. There is a lack of empathy towards the submissive, and because the expected roles are different "just because", they become unempathizeable. Women can't be respected until this area of culture evolves past the point of this dynamic.

Your comparison to bullying is apt, I think, Callan, at least in some respects. That is another area that is changing.
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Baztek

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« Reply #19 on: May 04, 2013, 02:58:48 pm »
Meyna said it better than I could. I want to add though that hip hop culture respecting women would not somehow excuse the violence and self-destruction it glorifies. I was just trying to point out a part of popular culture today where men being dominant over women is still prevalent and very much visible.

Your bully comparison is apt, because misogyny does stem from some inner insecurity, whatever that may be. Just because the bully feels bad inside or that he introduces chaos into the system doesn't mean that, as far as those who suffer from his outbursts are concerned, he is not above them in the hierarchy they occupy.

Callan S.

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« Reply #20 on: May 04, 2013, 11:32:51 pm »
In our culture, as it stands having evolved to the point it is now, we still see an ingrained superiority of men over women.
If it's ingrained in our culture, and you are in that culture, why aren't you cowtowing to the concept right now and saying men are just so the boss of women, Meyna?

You know you're outside of that, otherwise clearly you'd be enacting it at all times.

Two big, difficult to chew over IF's coming up:

I'd suspect you don't want to be so outside that you've abandoned the tribe utterly? That terms like 'privilege' are used as a diplomatic...concession....so as to stay within the group? So as to not discard - well, not to avoid discarding the mysogynist male, but to avoid discarding the group he is embedded in? Your group? A concession so as to not throw out the baby with the shitty bathwater.

Going all the way up to the line - but not being prepared to cross it. If I know mysogynistic males (by consulting my inner bastard), they know how to play that and will call the bluff, since it's a bluff and no ones going to abandon the tribe they are embeded in. So they'll just continue, maybe be indulgent for awhile to stop sharp voices, then continue on as usual. No change.

The ability to walk away is the crux of all bargaining power.

A couple of big IF's there. But regardless I see a conflict in a statement of something being ingrained in the culture the speaker of it says they are part of - there's a conflict in the statement, at the very least.

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Women are expected to respond a certain way in the face of the initiation of this dynamic. There is a lack of empathy towards the submissive, and because the expected roles are different "just because", they become unempathizeable. Women can't be respected until this area of culture evolves past the point of this dynamic.
Why not just NOT respond a certain way?

Is it out of a desire to submit? But wanting to submit AND be respected?

That's hard ground - frankly it seems something mostly only achievable in a romantic relationship context.

The ground men find themselves on most of the time is kinda similar, but viciously different - the only thing there is to submit to is something they know wants to kill them. Ie, the natural world.

Potentially there's a threshold to cross - feminism involves facing the world where submission == death. While with men (or women, even) submission has the chance of being respected, in this world submission always equals death.

Again I'm running on the smell of an oily rag with my IF's. But - have you ever seen those documentaries where penguins cluster on a glacier in a blizzard, forming a big circle to try and hedge out the cold? How the ones in the middle are crushed but warmer, while the ones on the edge have more freedom, but face the biting cold?

Is the desire to submit and be respected kinda like wanting to be in the middle without the crush? Yet that always involves someone being on the outside, freezing their ass off (even as they are more free?)

Or if that all seems something completely different: Well, why not just NOT respond a certain way? I'm left guessing as to the reason and as you can see, my imagination starts wirring away when denied an answer?
« Last Edit: May 04, 2013, 11:38:23 pm by Callan S. »

Callan S.

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« Reply #21 on: May 05, 2013, 12:08:02 am »
Just because the bully feels bad inside or that he introduces chaos into the system doesn't mean that, as far as those who suffer from his outbursts are concerned, he is not above them in the hierarchy they occupy.
Just because someone is a victim, does not mean that their first thought and every thought that comes into their head about their victimisation is accurate.

I can't say I'm going to humour any idea that there is some ordered, intended system where they are now below the bully in rank. It sounds like self inflicted just word bias.

What the hell can you do if you accomidate that lower rank idea? - if you're really lower rank, then suck it up and try and get a higher rank via the system (the system that wont allow you to because you've made the bully the system).

I can't even reconcile the idea of both complaining about ones supposed rank, yet also a supposed acceptance of being in that rank. Which is it, complaining or acceptance?

To me it seems like trying to work at an instinctual level - the urge to make complaint and...how does that work? How it works (or doesn't) seems hidden, rather than explicit like the rules of chess are explicit and visible. In chess like terms, can you explain how the victim thinking he is lower on the heirachy somehow helps him?


Meyna

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« Reply #22 on: May 05, 2013, 01:55:19 am »
Yes, abandoning the tribe is a big step for nearly anyone -- I would venture to say that for most, it would go against their very nature. In the end, we all have things we don't like about our tribes/cultures; but, we put up with it in most cases. What else is there to do? We raise our voices, and, if we're lucky, the change isn't too drastic as to shock the system. All tribes will resist large change, after all. Culture is like a river. To divert it, one must do it incrementally, rather than trying to make it do a u-turn in one fell swoop.

Individual attitudes about this issue run the gamut. Some don't see it as an issue one way or the other. Some recognize it, but think it's a good thing. Some don't know what to do to change it, and still others push against it violently. The "privilege" meme is being applied by this latter group in a pretty abrasive way, true. Males have it, it's bad that they have it, and they must accept this badness, but even if they do their opinion about women's rights carries no weight.

The "male advantage," whatever that may be, is still being realized. The "privilege" part, to me, resides in the fact that so many people, male and female alike, participate in it without even realizing it.

Like most of the issues that I see, I don't know exactly what my stance on it is, nor would I know how to react in order to efficiently catalyze a cultural change in perspective (if, in fact, I decide that changing so many minds is the "right" thing to do).
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Callan S.

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« Reply #23 on: May 06, 2013, 01:53:22 am »
As I said, I think the mysogynistic male knows that you're not prepared to walk away, and they'll call that bluff. When haggling, why lower the price when you know the other person wont walk (as I said before - in a romantic context, yeah, then maybe you'd lower the price - but you obviously can't love all men into peaceful submission)? It's possibly the key stone to patriarchal society existing for so long.

I also wonder if crackedmoon and the requires only hate crew are essentially supporting the patriarchal by calling it privilege - not only do the mysoginistic males use ROH and such as a rally cry, it's also ultimately an advocation for their hating. A concession, like 'boys will be boys' is a concession.

I think it's interesting how the suffragettes would stand in the gutter to hand out their pamphlets (after laws were written to stop them handing out information on the footpath! FFS!) - they were willing to step outside of the tribe, in order to further their cause (tie it into my penguin analogy, they were willing to walk a bit further into the blizzard for their cause. They were willing to walk away)

I dunno - I think about it like a big chess game...and I think 'male privilege' is simply a bluff move that will be circumvented readily by the opposing player and even weaponised by them. It's my tactical estimate, for what it's worth, anyway.

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Males have it, it's bad that they have it, and they must accept this badness, but even if they do their opinion about women's rights carries no weight.
Like 'Mansplaining'? Such a hypocritical term - because some men demand to be heard but wont listen, this abhorent term advocates for women demanding to be heard, but women not listening at all to men (not even a little bit). Two wrongs making a right, all wraped up into one stupid made up word. Of course it started with some men being belligerant and not listening, I totally grant. I guess I should blame the most those who started the fire, rather than those who fan it. I guess that the term will potentially lock me out from putting out fires shits me as well.


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The "male advantage," whatever that may be, is still being realized. The "privilege" part, to me, resides in the fact that so many people, male and female alike, participate in it without even realizing it.

For me, as I read it, it doesn't tie down to nitty gritty practicalities. If you were to ask women what they want, described in physical terms, I see a gap between the notion that extinguishment of this 'privilege' is good and how what women want (in physical terms) is achieved. It's like one of those "1. Do X, 2. ????, 3. Profit!" jokes. There's some gap between the notion that it's just this privilege thing that needs to be sorted out (and then women who are carrying barrels of water for X kilometers each day will be fine, will they?)

Are there documents by feminists that tie down this dislike of privilege down to nitty gritty day to day practicality? Such that it refers to the water carriers, for example?

If the water carries would happen to want not to carry each day and it helps with getting to that goal, cool. Otherwise for myself I don't really care what people do without realising it.

Meyna

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« Reply #24 on: May 06, 2013, 12:40:53 pm »
As I said, I think the mysogynistic male knows that you're not prepared to walk away, and they'll call that bluff. When haggling, why lower the price when you know the other person wont walk (as I said before - in a romantic context, yeah, then maybe you'd lower the price - but you obviously can't love all men into peaceful submission)? It's possibly the key stone to patriarchal society existing for so long.

Probably. Once reduced, this narrative seems no different from any other play for rights throughout history.

I also wonder if crackedmoon and the requires only hate crew are essentially supporting the patriarchal by calling it privilege - not only do the mysoginistic males use ROH and such as a rally cry, it's also ultimately an advocation for their hating. A concession, like 'boys will be boys' is a concession.

Indeed, the most efficient way to change opinions on a mass scale includes a coolness and subtlety not found with some proponents of progressive thought, and, indeed, the "wildness" does provide fodder for the opposition to construct their strawmen. The "inefficient" passion has other effects, though. Everyone needs an outlet to vent, sometimes, even if it hinders somewhat their main goal of change opinions. We are rarely capable of taking the shortest path to any singular purpose, a concept we here think about.

I think it's interesting how the suffragettes would stand in the gutter to hand out their pamphlets (after laws were written to stop them handing out information on the footpath! FFS!) - they were willing to step outside of the tribe, in order to further their cause (tie it into my penguin analogy, they were willing to walk a bit further into the blizzard for their cause. They were willing to walk away)

I dunno - I think about it like a big chess game...and I think 'male privilege' is simply a bluff move that will be circumvented readily by the opposing player and even weaponised by them. It's my tactical estimate, for what it's worth, anyway.

It's more like the bishops are unhappy that the rooks are treated as more valuable simply because the subjective rules have given the rooks a move-set that, all other variables constrained, is objectively more advantageous to "chess-tern" society. The revelation is this: having a rook is more advantageous to a player in real-world chess than having a bishop -- but most people who know the rules of chess don't know that. Only those who are interested in the game and have looked into chess theory and want to approach the game with a serious and humble demeanor will learn that fact. And, only those who show an even greater interest will go beyond just knowing that fact; they will actually comprehend it and see it for themselves.

Ask someone who knows the rules of chess but doesn't really care which is better to have, a rook or a bishop, and they might say, "Well, the rook can move any number of spaces up / down or left / right, and the bishop can move any number of spaces on a diagonal, so they're basically equal. Whatever." Insist that the rook has an objective advantage, and they might challenge you, especially if they've already taken a stance on it.

"But what matters is the player using the pieces," you might say. "A bit of effort will allow a successful bishop." The point, though, is that the rook advantage exists. The fact that a bishop can still be successful is only a testament to how subtle the advantage is. That shouldn't be good enough, though.

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Males have it, it's bad that they have it, and they must accept this badness, but even if they do their opinion about women's rights carries no weight.
Like 'Mansplaining'? Such a hypocritical term - because some men demand to be heard but wont listen, this abhorent term advocates for women demanding to be heard, but women not listening at all to men (not even a little bit). Two wrongs making a right, all wraped up into one stupid made up word. Of course it started with some men being belligerant and not listening, I totally grant. I guess I should blame the most those who started the fire, rather than those who fan it. I guess that the term will potentially lock me out from putting out fires shits me as well.

"Mansplaining" follows the same basic script of rationalization that humans as a whole love to partake in, again, especially if they've already taken a stance.

Quote from: John Updike
But it seems to me that once you begin a gesture it's fatal not to go through with it.

It's a buzzword, sure, meant to appeal to the logical fallacy of "it's witty so it must be true." It serves its use as part of venting, as I mentioned above.

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The "male advantage," whatever that may be, is still being realized. The "privilege" part, to me, resides in the fact that so many people, male and female alike, participate in it without even realizing it.

For me, as I read it, it doesn't tie down to nitty gritty practicalities. If you were to ask women what they want, described in physical terms, I see a gap between the notion that extinguishment of this 'privilege' is good and how what women want (in physical terms) is achieved. It's like one of those "1. Do X, 2. ????, 3. Profit!" jokes. There's some gap between the notion that it's just this privilege thing that needs to be sorted out (and then women who are carrying barrels of water for X kilometers each day will be fine, will they?)

Are there documents by feminists that tie down this dislike of privilege down to nitty gritty day to day practicality? Such that it refers to the water carriers, for example?

If the water carries would happen to want not to carry each day and it helps with getting to that goal, cool. Otherwise for myself I don't really care what people do without realising it.

Ah, well, pinning down details of cultural concepts is exceedingly difficult, especially when it's your own. This whole issue is still in its infancy, relatively speaking, so it'll all resolve eventually. I know this sounds like a cop-out, but it is indeed a complex thing you've brought up just now and I don't have an answer at the moment; I've just been playing chess and have seen some things  8)
« Last Edit: May 06, 2013, 12:48:06 pm by Meyna »
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Callan S.

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« Reply #25 on: May 07, 2013, 01:54:58 am »
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It's more like the bishops are unhappy that the rooks are treated as more valuable simply because the subjective rules have given the rooks a move-set that, all other variables constrained, is objectively more advantageous to "chess-tern" society. The revelation is this: having a rook is more advantageous to a player in real-world chess than having a bishop -- but most people who know the rules of chess don't know that. Only those who are interested in the game and have looked into chess theory and want to approach the game with a serious and humble demeanor will learn that fact. And, only those who show an even greater interest will go beyond just knowing that fact; they will actually comprehend it and see it for themselves.
Yeah, but what good does comprehending it do if the rules of the game then go on being the exact same as before?

Surely were talking about the game of writing new games? How we negotiate writing a new rule set?

Comprehend it? Well I'd kind of agree it's comprehending it from within the framework of chess - the rook is 'objectively better'.

But that's like saying males are objectively better - the comprehension of such a claim is from within a certain framework. Saying there's male privilege again can only engage a comprehension from within a framework that treats men as having a better position as much as the rook does.

I mean in chess, there's nothing wrong with the rook being a better piece. So brining up that it's a better piece isn't exactly a call for making it balanced with the bishop. Saying rooks are better than bishops merely reinforces the idea of chess as it is. Saying men have privileges, as I estimate it, merely reinforces the patriarchal society as it is. Unless we start to redefine the word privilege and equate it with a heavy negativity like we do the words 'bullying' or 'crime'. Perhaps part of the notion of this from a demographic sometime refered to as working class, who generally resent any idea of 'privilege' as something toffs have, and so in this context it is used as a negative word?

Anyway, it's my concern that use of the term 'male privilege' (which really refers to male bullying and near criminal acts (as well as legally criminal acts)) simply supports the patriarchal system. So I'll keep being concerned. It would actually be nice to be wrong on the matter, because then I could stop being concerned about it.

Maybe it's all just semantic nuance on my part, no more important than whether you put an apostrophe before the s in 'grocers'.

Also I get venting. Frighteningly though, I think some people don't actually understand that they are venting and instead think that everything that comes out of their mouth is gospel (like acrackedmoon... (or Vox for that matter, but that's another subject kinda)).

Meyna

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« Reply #26 on: May 07, 2013, 12:11:41 pm »
I perhaps took the chess analogy a bit far, but I was on a roll ;D

I guess the main point is that the rooks are only objectively better because of the subjective rules that were developed, with balance being the intent. Society's "rules" came into play over time -- some by design, and some unwittingly -- to achieve a sort of balance, too. In some cases during this process, fairness wasn't seen as paramount. Now we have an instance where there is a demand to re-tune society with fairness in mind without upsetting the balance.

I agree that "privilege" invokes a rather inflammatory connotation. Though, I'd wager that the objection to the word in this context comes not from the word itself, but from the mirror that is held up to the "patriarchal society" when it is used. The terms with which this issue is described would be attacked to some degree no matter what. The message is attacked rather than the aspects of society that are being examined. Again, perhaps it is a poor choice of words, and the goal will be achieved more efficiently through other semantic channels, but, meh.

You are right regarding the venting being treated as gospel. Any action that does not follow what is consciously or subconsciously known not to be the most efficient path towards a defined goal is a form of venting. It's emotional satiation. We are all prone to such things. Admitting that we are engaging in a way that only satisfies our "illogical" emotional needs itself runs contrary to our "illogical" emotional needs, so our subconscious will be loathe to admit it 8)

Anyway, this TEDx Talk has been making the rounds on Facebook over the past day or so, so I will post it here. The most important thing the speaker tries to do is extend what are seen as "women's issues" into the realm of "societal issues". He focuses mainly on active abuse, though passive abuse surely is an issue as well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTvSfeCRxe8
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Callan S.

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« Reply #27 on: May 07, 2013, 11:57:26 pm »
Perhaps I should have pitched the notion like he does. His diplomacy skill is higher than mine. He probably gets a CHR bonus.

Meyna

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« Reply #28 on: May 08, 2013, 01:35:08 am »
Yes, each word a weapon and all of that.
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Callan S.

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« Reply #29 on: May 08, 2013, 04:05:43 am »
each word a weapon and all of that.
Hope not. There are weapons and there are scalpels.