The Second Apocalypse

Earwa => General Earwa => Topic started by: BeardFisher-King on April 28, 2017, 03:19:23 pm

Title: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 28, 2017, 03:19:23 pm
Hey, Redeagl (and any other interested Forum members), I need a good name for the comedian delivering this classic routine. As originally written, I used my own moniker, but the talented, albeit quite profane, performer deserves an Eärwan name.
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 28, 2017, 03:22:53 pm
The only defining characteristic I've given my comedian is that he's not a rustic and not a Northerner. Maybe a Nansurian Empire subject? If so, I've got a possible name in my back pocket. Regardless....... I am starting a......

*** CONTEST!!! ***


Yes, I'm putting out an OPEN CALL for submissions to "Name That Comic!". If a winner emerges, the prize will be an evening of unlimited Paper Planes! Unfortunately, you must either travel to St. Louis to collect, or corral me at a future TSA meet-up. But the offer is good. If you don't like Paper Planes.....perhaps a substitute can be conjured up. The tap water in St. Louis is particularly good.

GOOD LUCK!!!
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: Redeagl on April 28, 2017, 04:03:24 pm
Zöreius Öenghûs. Anasûrimbor Ikurei. Morngarüs  Bellhus.
I am horrible at naming.
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 28, 2017, 04:45:25 pm
Zöreius Öengûs. Anasûrimbor Ikurei. Morngarüs  Bellhus.
I am horrible at naming.
The first name is crazy, and you know I like crazy, Red. An Anasürimbor comic? Unlikely. The third name.....also a possible hit. Keep 'em coming. You'll get there. With your affinity for puns, it's only a matter of time.

Here's a secondary consideration: He has to have a name that shortens to a one- or two-syllable nickname. Like "Beard" or "Akka" or "Zin". (God, I miss that guy.... :'() So, Zöreius could shorten to "Zory! Zory!". That is an early contender, Red.
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 28, 2017, 04:56:43 pm
I'm really digging Zöreius Öenghûs. Might be a short contest....
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 28, 2017, 04:58:41 pm
Hey, maybe RSB will steal Zöreius for the final TSA series! That would be outstanding!
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: Redeagl on April 28, 2017, 08:13:25 pm
Zöreius Öengûs. Anasûrimbor Ikurei. Morngarüs  Bellhus.
I am horrible at naming.
The first name is crazy, and you know I like crazy, Red. An Anasürimbor comic? Unlikely. The third name.....also a possible hit. Keep 'em coming. You'll get there. With your affinity for puns, it's only a matter of time.

Here's a secondary consideration: He has to have a name that shortens to a one- or two-syllable nickname. Like "Beard" or "Akka" or "Zin". (God, I miss that guy.... :'() So, Zöreius could shorten to "Zory! Zory!". That is an early contender, Red.
Glad you liked it. I miss Xinemus too  :( :'(
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 28, 2017, 08:28:08 pm
I like the name Zöreius Öenghûs so much that I'm thinking of changing MY name to that. My REAL WORLD name.....
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: themerchant on April 28, 2017, 08:33:36 pm
You could be a survivor of the first holy war so folk calll you "Veteran"
.
In fact you could be the guy that shouts out "nay i'm an asshole"as a reply to "are you a heathen" when the Holy war is crossing the Sempsis, causing everyone to laugh.
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 28, 2017, 09:54:43 pm
You could be a survivor of the first holy war so folk calll you "Veteran"
.
In fact you could be the guy that shouts out "nay i'm an asshole"as a reply to "are you a heathen" when the Holy war is crossing the Sempsis, causing everyone to laugh.
I think my comic could possibly be that guy! Have to mull that over.....he might be the type of "Veteran" that never seemed to be near the action.
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: Redeagl on April 28, 2017, 10:08:21 pm
So is it official?  Holy Veteran Zöreius Öenghûs the Comic.
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: BeardFisher-King on April 28, 2017, 10:16:52 pm
I will keep submissions open until one week from today. Deadline is 10:00pm GMT, Friday, May 5, 2017. Cinco de Mayo!

But you are the leader in the clubhouse, Redeagl. Zöreius, aka "Z. O.", aka "Zory", aka "The Big O", will be VERY hard to beat.
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: Wilshire on May 01, 2017, 01:44:05 am
Sounds like Zoro. Will he wear a black hat?
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: themerchant on May 01, 2017, 02:07:20 am
Or the guy who shouts "dinner time" and causes the ranks to disolve in TGO when the Great Ordeal bum rush the horde.
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: BeardFisher-King on May 01, 2017, 03:56:21 am
Or the guy who shouts "dinner time" and causes the ranks to disolve in TGO when the Great Ordeal bum rush the horde.
No, Merch, unfortunately, I've written the routine from the perspective of a comedian who is NOT part of the Great Ordeal.  The "dinner time" guy has a post-war career in front of him, should he survive.
Sounds like Zoro. Will he wear a black hat?
Wilshire, I honestly haven't thought about "Zorro's" stage attire. But you may have nailed the nickname, should Zöreius win this lunatic contest.
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: mrganondorf on May 02, 2017, 03:12:23 pm
I SUGGEST AL -- THE ANUS LEAF
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: BeardFisher-King on May 02, 2017, 09:28:47 pm
I SUGGEST AL -- THE ANUS LEAF
Well, MG, that qualifies for the coveted "WTF?" prize.
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: mrganondorf on May 02, 2017, 10:28:31 pm
I SUGGEST AL -- THE ANUS LEAF
Well, MG, that qualifies for the coveted "WTF?" prize.

THE ANUS LEAF JOKE--SARL IN TJE!!!

THIS IS IMPORTANT TO HOW TAE ENDS

...

it is not
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: BeardFisher-King on May 03, 2017, 12:09:06 am
I SUGGEST AL -- THE ANUS LEAF
Well, MG, that qualifies for the coveted "WTF?" prize.
THE ANUS LEAF JOKE--SARL IN TJE!!!

THIS IS IMPORTANT TO HOW TAE ENDS
...
it is not
"This is the way the world ends.
This is the way the world ends.
This is the way the world ends.
Not with a bang, but with an anus leaf joke."
(with apologies to T. S. Eliot)
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: mrganondorf on May 03, 2017, 12:36:48 am
I SUGGEST AL -- THE ANUS LEAF
Well, MG, that qualifies for the coveted "WTF?" prize.
THE ANUS LEAF JOKE--SARL IN TJE!!!

THIS IS IMPORTANT TO HOW TAE ENDS
...
it is not
"This is the way the world ends.
This is the way the world ends.
This is the way the world ends.
Not with a bang, but with an anus leaf joke."
(with apologies to T. S. Eliot)

holy shit bk--that was awesome
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: themerchant on May 03, 2017, 01:44:54 am
Or the guy who shouts "dinner time" and causes the ranks to disolve in TGO when the Great Ordeal bum rush the horde.
No, Merch, unfortunately, I've written the routine from the perspective of a comedian who is NOT part of the Great Ordeal.  The "dinner time" guy has a post-war career in front of him, should he survive.


I think the judges killed him for coupling with the corpses of the enemy.
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: BeardFisher-King on May 03, 2017, 11:11:11 am
I SUGGEST AL -- THE ANUS LEAF
Well, MG, that qualifies for the coveted "WTF?" prize.
THE ANUS LEAF JOKE--SARL IN TJE!!!

THIS IS IMPORTANT TO HOW TAE ENDS
...
it is not
"This is the way the world ends.
This is the way the world ends.
This is the way the world ends.
Not with a bang, but with an anus leaf joke."
(with apologies to T. S. Eliot)

holy shit bk--that was awesome
Thank you, sir! Not too damn many T. S. Eliot references on the Forum, nor in the broader world, these sad and diminished days. Come to think of it, Eliot and Bakker are both concerned with the lack of meaning in the modern world.

Now there's a pivot for you: from an anus leaf joke to the search for meaning!
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: BeardFisher-King on May 03, 2017, 11:20:43 am
Or the guy who shouts "dinner time" and causes the ranks to disolve in TGO when the Great Ordeal bum rush the horde.
No, Merch, unfortunately, I've written the routine from the perspective of a comedian who is NOT part of the Great Ordeal.  The "dinner time" guy has a post-war career in front of him, should he survive.


I think the judges killed him for coupling with the corpses of the enemy.
Alas, Merch, you're probably right.

Consuming the Meat has especially deleterious effects on creative types such as comics.......no impulse control at all!
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: TaoHorror on May 03, 2017, 01:20:03 pm
I laughed out loud when reading Sarl yelling This one's a chopper! as he wiggled the skin spy face on his belt. Made me think of the very beginning of the first book with the Non-man donning faces all over his garb ( man, I miss both those guys! ).
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: BeardFisher-King on May 03, 2017, 08:20:24 pm
Sarl is some piece of work, all right. So is Mekeritrig, who I'm pretty sure is the Nonman Kellhus meets in TDTCB. Searching for faces on his cloak like he's looking for his car keys....pretty damn funny: "You remind of.....THIS one.....no, no......THIS one!"

I'll bet we see both again in TUC.
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: Redeagl on May 03, 2017, 08:48:50 pm
BFK channeling his inner Theliopa. But it is a good one so I will forgive you ;) .
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: BeardFisher-King on May 04, 2017, 12:35:46 pm
*****  ATTENTION!  *****

The "Name That Comic!" Contest closes in 1 day, 9 hours, and 30 minutes! It's not too late for your submission!

*****  GOOD LUCK!   *****
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: TaoHorror on May 04, 2017, 04:06:40 pm
Dude, sorry, can't think of anything clever in Dunyainic ... now if he was possessed by Yahwer, I could probably think of something.
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: BeardFisher-King on May 05, 2017, 10:23:51 pm
*****  ATTENTION. *****

The deadline for submissions to the "Name That Comic!" Contest has passed. The winner will be announced on Monday, May 8, at 10:00pm GMT (5:00pm CDT). Thanks to all who participated.
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: Redeagl on May 05, 2017, 10:29:48 pm
*****  ATTENTION. *****

The deadline for submissions to the "Name That Comic!" Contest has passed. The winner will be announced on Monday, May 8, at 10:00pm GMT (5:00pm CDT). Thanks to all who participated.
I wonder who.....
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: BeardFisher-King on May 05, 2017, 10:41:24 pm
*****  ATTENTION. *****

The deadline for submissions to the "Name That Comic!" Contest has passed. The winner will be announced on Monday, May 8, at 10:00pm GMT (5:00pm CDT). Thanks to all who participated.
I wonder who.....
Two finalists: Redeagl, with "Zöreius Öenghûs" and profgrape, with "Nau-Yerbouti" (submitted via Quorum). I need the weekend to decide, gents.

I respond favourably to bribery and flattery. I also will take into consideration the opinions of Forum members. Have at it, gents!
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: TaoHorror on May 06, 2017, 12:37:21 pm
Beard, you're the greatest Inchoroi I've encountered! Pick my name!
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: BeardFisher-King on May 06, 2017, 06:13:00 pm
Nice try, Tao. Don't call us; we'll call you ....  ;)
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: BeardFisher-King on May 09, 2017, 01:01:22 pm
******   ATTENTION!    ******

After careful consideration and a judicious weighing of the various bribes offered, I have decided on a winner in the "Name That Comic!" Contest!

And the winner is.........

REDEAGL!

Yes, Redeagl's submission of the name "Zöreius Öenghûs" had that authentic ring for which I was looking. Congratulations, Red!

Respect must be paid to profgrape, whose late submission of "Nau-Yerbouti" threw the contest into an uproar and made the Judge's decision most difficult. The Judge decided that "Nau-Yerbouti" was a name more suitable for a character in our comic's routine, and, indeed, such a character will be created in the near future. Profgrape, your submission was not made in vain, and thanks for contributing!

Finally,  honourable mention goes to Wilshire, who suggested the nickname "Zorro" for our comic, helping to seal the deal in favour of Redeagl's submission. Thanks, Wilshire!

The noted thread, "The Greatest Eärwan Stand-Up Comedy Routine EVER!", will soon be updated to reflect the Contest's result.

Thanks to all for participating!
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: Redeagl on May 09, 2017, 01:47:05 pm
YAY!
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: TaoHorror on May 09, 2017, 05:01:37 pm
I lost?! I wasn't even mentioned?! The fact I flattered you with no submission doesn't rise to a standard of comedy worth mention?! More like it went over your head, you trash-at-the-curb hack of a "comedian" ... let me guess, your biggest audience consisted of 3 people ( the bar tender, a gnat on some rat shit and the cane handler ) for which you took the bright light in your eyes as "audience", it was really just obfuscating the "Absolute". Beard, you're dumb.
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: Madness on May 09, 2017, 05:04:55 pm
Lol, "the cane handler?"
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: BeardFisher-King on May 09, 2017, 05:20:37 pm
I lost?! I wasn't even mentioned?! The fact I flattered you with no submission doesn't rise to a standard of comedy worth mention?! More like it went over your head, you trash-at-the-curb hack of a "comedian" ... let me guess, your biggest audience consisted of 3 people ( the bar tender, a gnat on some rat shit and the cane handler ) for which you took the bright light in your eyes as "audience", it was really just obfuscating the "Absolute". Beard, you're dumb.
Lol, "the cane handler?"
Holy Hades! Looks like I inadvertently dissed Tao! Who, btw, has a great, if not lucrative, sideline as a heckler.

Tao, that rant is outstanding! It comes across as absolutely sincere, and, as they say, if you can fake sincerity, the world is your oyster.

Good day to you, sir.

<mutters, "Cane handler? WTF?">
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: TaoHorror on May 12, 2017, 04:17:50 pm
Aw, Beard, you pile of shit, you know I love ya! I love ya, Beard!

You see through me, ancient spirit - it was not sincere - I was going for the Non-man heckler gig. I was kicking the tires on the Non-man thing of attacking those I love, but don't think I'm doing a very good job of it. I guess I'm missing that immortal component to my psychology to pull that off.

So when/where is your next stand up routine - I promise to behave myself. Any youtube videos of you in action?

Oh, and the "cane handler" ... didn't know what to call the people who yanked performers off a stage with a cane ...

Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: profgrape on May 13, 2017, 12:22:17 pm
Just thought of this:

The Thousandfold Twat
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: BeardFisher-King on May 14, 2017, 09:50:33 pm
Lol, Tao. The "cane handler" is the best name for the guy with the hook in the old days. Bravo!

I've actually never done stand-up, but I might have missed my calling as a comedy writer. Again, your heckling rant was first- rate. Rank abuse.....the very best kind!
Title: Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
Post by: TaoHorror on May 14, 2017, 10:45:16 pm
Profgrape - I laughed out loud reading your "joke", but was hesitant to say so, revealing my pedestrian mind. I'm imagining what that would look like - a metaphor for the Da Vinci Code-esque effort for getting into a girl's pants? Bakker may like it too given his frequent fish references in PON.

Beard - in all sincerity, your stand up comic thing was very, very funny - and as I said before, "reducing" the story humorously like that has legs if you're interested in "re-telling" the PON story. Bakker appears to be of good humor, he may dig it.