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Messages - Davias

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16
Philosophy & Science / Re: Suicide or not
« on: February 11, 2014, 10:41:38 pm »
You describe your emotions and thoughts very well, Auriga and most of it mirrors my own thoughts and reflections in the last years a bit.
When I realized most of the things in the world aren't as meaningful and substantial, as many people told me, they should be, I fell in a hole. Like Nietzsche said: "And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you."
It began with the books I read. In the last years I couldn't read a lot comedy and satire books or somewhat "light", "positive" or "friendly" literature. Almost all my books I bought in the last years had a "dark" and "heavy" theme, a lot to think about, or need to be very grim and depressing. I can't read a book about true love or some positive way of life anymore.
I have a relatively negative view of the world and I'm really unsure about my own perspective of living since I have read Bakker's books, Ligotti, and other authors. It is feels like a long-drawn-out depression. I have thought to visit a psychiatrist or therapeut, because I'm often very sad or oddly bored of many things ( especially human interactions and similar things ). But everytime I say to me:"What can he tell me, that I don't know myself?" and I don't go.

In my job as a pre-school teacher I have a lot a lot of kids around me - mostly 20 or more, 3-6 years old - and all my colleagues are women with families and a a very clear conception of their way of life ( and all the Illusions and self-adulation which come with it in my opinion...) The work with the kids is stressful but also sometimes entertaining and funny. But in the conversations with my female colleagues I'm being infamous because of my cynical comments and "realistic" evaluations of situations and dialogues with the staff and the parents. And it is getting worse, I think.
From time to time I think, I'm beginning to lose my human empathy because of my negative and nihilistic opinions about life and human existence. This mindset seems to be REALLY out of place in my kind of job. What brings me through the day most of the time, is one hope: That I can teach the little kids some kind of basics, which almost none of my colleagues could not or want not to do: to be able to think critically in school and life in a few years, to conceive their OWN opinion about the world and their living, despite the typical indoctrination in the political, religious and cultural beliefs of their parents or teachers.

I have often dark ideas and thoughts and need to keep my inner demon at bay, sometimes the chains of reality barely holding up his struggle to throw me finally in a meaningless darkness. But every once in a while I NEED to say to me, there are a lot of things, which are interesting enough for me, to enjoy life: More Knowledge about history, write my own stories, see interesting places, meet interesting people and learn new, fresh ideas and so on. Some of the time it works well, sometimes it doesn't work at all.
But I keep struggling for now, I hope it will be enough.



17
Ok, now I have watched the first episode and I must say, I absolutely LOVE the interaction between the two main characters. And the dialogue in the car was fantastic. At first glance it seems like a traditional detective-crime series, but I am sure there will be a few surprises in the future.
I haven't watched a HBO series in english in the last few months, except the last season of Boardwalk Empire and I am already curious for the next episode.
I had a little bit of trouble, understanding the whole talking in the first episode, maybe my english isn't as good, as I thought ;), but I didn't remember having much problems with the dialogues in Boardwalk Empire.
Anyway, a good start and the series has definitively some potential.

18
+1 Callan S.
Quote
"Ah, so if the naive young woman had been a hobbit, then fifty shades would have been silly? Or does the alegorical race involved not matter? Unless of course the reader can't understand a metaphor to save their lives!"

Why I didn't think of that answer at the pub? That would have been a cool way to dominate the circumstances like a real Dunyain. :D

The next time I must capture a whole conversation about the second apocalypse in public on a dictaphone, to analyse it on the next day.
I have a friend, who loves to discuss complicated shit with me and although he doesn't like fantasy very much, he will listen curiously to my explanation of Bakker's books. And he has a cool, big whiteboard in his workroom. There could be some Enlightenment for me.

( By the way, That evening in the brewery pub didn't went well for me after that, healthwise. I ended up with the intelligent, drunken guy a few hours and a few whiskys later at a kitchen table, terrible drunk, loosing a few rounds of poker and discussing some shit about particel physics with him. To demonstrate an example, he drenched some cards with alcohol and tore some cards in many tiny bits of paper ::) .
My friend, the owner of the cards, wasn't too amused, but he knew the guy quite well and has accepted his strange behaviour a long time ago. All in all, it was a funny night. But when I opened my eyes, on the next day, my head burst in a thousand pieces... :-\ )

19
Literature / Re: God Decays by Benjamin Cain
« on: January 08, 2014, 09:47:30 pm »
 ;D +1 madness
When I ordered my book on amazon, I accidently ordered also both paperback and kindle edition. But I checked my order some hours later and canceled the paperback.
But when I read the ebook and God Decays is as good as I hope, I will order the paperback again to add it to my library :D

20
General Earwa / Last time you mentioned Bakker or the Second Apocalypse?
« on: January 08, 2014, 07:55:41 pm »
When was the last time in your real life, you have talked about Bakker, his books, especially the Second Apocalypse?

Here is a little tale from my last weekend:

Four guys, two women, sitting in a brewery pub.

One of the guys likes to talk about literature, strange movies, philosophical problems and the way of life. I must say, his intellect is mostly superior to mine, and he is a little bit of an asshole ( maybe it is my opinion only, because he IS clearly more intelligent than I  ;D  aaahh, mankind are ever deceived... 8) ). But I like him, sometimes, because he has some cool and interesting ideas and thoughts about many things.

Anyway, we two talked about the meaning of extrinsic and intrinsic motivation and how our own actions in the daily life are influenced by either one of the two.
This conversation clearly was the reason, the three other guys and the two women began to complain about us. They wanted a nice, little evening with alot of alcohol and slight talk about their last relationships and some talk about movies, books and mainstream movies.
Ok, when my dialog partner drank his eighth or ninths beer , I finally surrendered to the alienate stares of the two women and switched to their current discussion. About books.
I wasn't too drunk at that moment, but five beers, and flashing thoughts about my love for the Second Apocalypse were enough to threw the shit against the wall.
One of the girls talked about the silly Shades of Grey books. I wasn't to impressed by her statements about it.
She was a little bit pissed by my following comments and asked:"And what literature is YOUR cup of tea?"

"Oh, mostly fantasy and history books."

She had a little twinkle in her eyes. Clearly a touch of triumph. "Oh, Fantasy? Like the Lord of the Rings, or that Hobbit nonsense?"

"In some way...yes. But more about aliens and creatures who would fuck your skull, when it was seperated from your body or raping children and innocents."

Short silence. Frowning. Irritation. A short attempt to say something significant, which I interrupted.
"Oh, that's only the bad guys. There are some good guys too. One is a barbarian, who kills men and children alike and rapes women, clearly one of my favourite characters. The other some sort of monk, who feels no love, who uses and controls other men for his own reasons. Ahh, and a slightly depressed sorceror and a ingrained whore."

More Silence, then:"What? What is this pervert shit you are talking about? Who wants to read about THAT?"

"Oh it is very interesting, you should read it. There is also philosphy in it and some new and fresh ideas. It is EPIC!"

"I didn't want to read fantasy. Most certainly not this shit about rape and aliens. But it seems, some men like to read about killing, rape and about denigrate women."

"But you liked the ridiculous Shades of Grey? Oh, here is a realistic tale about strong and thoughtful women..."

"It isn't about rape. It is about a strange and difficult relationship and the dreams and erotic fantasies of a young and initially naive woman. But you know nothing about women, it seems."

I grabbed my beer and drank it with one gulp. Then ordering another. "Ok, you think so. Then we shoud talk about another topic."

The following topic was about movies. Not a good idea.... :D
Maybe I should accept my fate and continue my search for a woman, strong enough to bear my seed.  :P

Ok, the text is too long and the story a little bit insignificant episode in a whole, but that evening was the last time I talked about Bakker in the public. Maybe I didn't really point to the STRONG works in Bakker's books  ;D but my inner prick demanded it








21
The Boxer - by Simon & Garfunkel
Great song...

22
The Forum of Interesting Things / Re: The Silmarillion Project
« on: January 07, 2014, 09:26:42 pm »
nice idea, but I didn't like the art style very much. It is too comical in my opinion, not enough epicness for the epic silmarillion...

23
General Earwa / Re: T-Shirt Ideas!!
« on: January 07, 2014, 05:35:00 pm »
Here are some ideas from me.

this thing about slavery gave a a nice little idea...
http://imageshack.us/a/img812/6369/23nm.png

Wutteät is always a fine choice in my opinion
http://imageshack.us/a/img9/9544/jtnt.png

I haven't ordered the t-shirts yet, but no one knows.... 8)

24
Literature / Re: A Game of Thrones
« on: December 02, 2013, 08:08:58 pm »
Nice picture, Madness.
It is funny to see, what people do with enough time and their favourite fantasy book series. I have read the first four books three or four times, but I hadn't had an idea like this...

Now, let us do some IMPORTANT things and do a mathematical research of how many Scranc in a ten-yoke-legion one mandate sorcerer could possibly kill in one hour... ;D


25
Literature / The Monarchies of God - by Paul Kearney
« on: November 13, 2013, 11:05:08 pm »
It is a fantasy series which has a nice, "alternative" world scenario, with influences and ideas borrowed from the voyage of Christopher Kolumbus, the wars against the Osman empire, the crusades and many other history events. It is spiced with some magic and magical creatures. Paul Kearneys writing is short, but to the point and the great battles in the books are very well written. The characters all have flaws, but has also their strong sides.
It's not great literature, but it is a nice, finished series, which I have read two or three times over the last years and it is very entertaining.

Paul Kearney is a good fantasy writer and I also like his other series, like "The Macht trilogy", where he take ideas from the march of the greek  ten thousand in xenophon's tale.

Have anony read the books? And what is your opinion of it?

26
Literature / Re: Hyperion by Dan Simmons
« on: November 13, 2013, 10:49:21 pm »
I have read Hyperion + Fall of Hyperion and I like them. I'm not to involved in sci-fi settings, but I like Dan Simmons writing and style. The story about the time-graves and the shrike was a cool mystery and it kept me reading. But despite the enjoyable reading experience with both books I feel no real urge to read the other books in the cycle.

Regarding Dan Abraham + 1 Royce, it was a interesting setting and magic system, but the story was quite mediocre and I didn't like one character in the 4 books, except the Andat seedless and this one mercenary captain.
The main characters were too shiny and shallow in my opinion, although their actions and thinkings were written quite well by Abraham. I don't know how to say it, but the characters are somhow boring.

27
Literature / Re: YOU MUST TELL ME ... What else are you reading?
« on: October 18, 2013, 02:01:01 pm »
Thanks, Madness. I have added him to my reading list, which is already too long  ::)

28
Caladan Brood - City of Azure Fire: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yTAozE0yXc

29
Literature / Re: YOU MUST TELL ME ... What else are you reading?
« on: October 18, 2013, 01:38:36 pm »
Niccolo Machiavelli... interesting, Madness.
I've only read a few passages in "The Prince" some years ago.
Can you recommend some of his works? Has it a little insight about the timeframe, in which he lived?

30
Literature / Re: Gentlemen Bastard Series by Scott Lynch
« on: October 18, 2013, 01:31:35 pm »
I have read the first two books in the series. The "Republic of Thieves" isn't available in german yet and I am not in the mood now to read it in english, because I have so many other books to read first.
It was a cool, venetian-like Fantasy, refreshingly it wasn't another "medieval" setting. The conversations between the characters were entertaining and the story had enough surprises and turning points to enjoy the whole plot.  I were not very emotional attached to the characters, but Locke's schemes and the interesting locations and persons made up for it.
It was a very good read for relaxing saturday afternoons in the summer, sitting in the garden and sipping some cool drink.

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