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Messages - BeardFisher-King

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256
Literature / Re: Yearly Targets and what youve read. 2017
« on: May 19, 2017, 03:09:33 pm »
Hey Beard - I'm looking up the Riddlemaster Of Hed trilogy by Patricia McKillip in wikipedia, but confused as to what to get - appears there are omnibus editions as well. Is it just the 3 books re-released later under different names or is it more than that? Let me know what the deal is, what to purchase so as to not duplicate - if such an exercise is worth your time, thanks.

The Engineer trilogy by K. J. Parker got mixed reviews, but one of your fav's you say? I know Amazon reviews is a cesspool mixed with manipulative trash from competitors and the like, but a common criticism was too much time was spent on describing "machine parts" ... what say you! Defend yourself, KNOW when you're in danger!
Hey, Tao! Hope you're doing well.

Amazon reviews...if you like Bakker and grimdark generally, you'll dig the Engineer trilogy. "Too much time spent on describing 'machine parts'".... I interpret that as "ANY time"! That criticism....yeah, I hear there's a lot about whaling in Moby-Dick, also. I can't say they're my favorites, but they're high quality. There's also a stand-alone novel called, iirc, "The Company", which is superb.

I've been looking for an omnibus copy of Riddlemaster; my old paperbacks are falling apart. The three volumes are The Riddlemaster Of Hed,  Heir Of Sea And Fire, and Harpist In The Wind. Highly recommended. They're certainly not grimdark! I love 'em to death! I'm due to re-read them, matter of fact.

257
Based on Wert's edits to the Wiki, I'm now thinking the secret is that the mountains are full of Sranc, almost like a second Horde, that will descend upon the Ordeal.
"Hey, finally the fucking caterers show up! Dinner time, boys!"

258
The Unholy Consult / Re: Book Review: The Unholy Consult
« on: May 15, 2017, 08:17:40 pm »
Well done, MG! I think I'll read it!  ;)

I also think my old friend Zöreius Öenghûs the comic might be silenced by the events chronicled in TUC. Sadness beyond imagining......I am preparing for the worst.

259
General Earwa / Re: Zaudunyanicon 2017
« on: May 15, 2017, 12:42:27 am »
If any of you have the misfortune to be older than BFK, then I will pay you all due respect and buy you a drink. Maybe your bill won't be quite as high, Wilshire....  ;)

260
General Earwa / Re: Zaudunyanicon 2017
« on: May 14, 2017, 10:09:42 pm »
Btw, how willing would people be to help pay for food and such? It's not like we're selling tickets, but I have a feeling I'm going to be stuck with a big bill if we don't figure this out beforehand.

No idea how much,  just a general question - would that ask persuade you, fellow Zaudunyani, from coming?
It's a good thing BFK almost certainly can't make the scene this year, Wilshire. Can you imagine? "MORE WINE! NO, NO ....THE GOOD STUFF!"

Stuck with a VERY large bill, mon ami!

261
General Earwa / Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
« on: May 14, 2017, 09:50:33 pm »
Lol, Tao. The "cane handler" is the best name for the guy with the hook in the old days. Bravo!

I've actually never done stand-up, but I might have missed my calling as a comedy writer. Again, your heckling rant was first- rate. Rank abuse.....the very best kind!

262
General Earwa / Re: Zaudunyanicon 2017
« on: May 13, 2017, 02:44:59 am »
Hello, SalDun! From a fellow reformed lurker and relative newbie, welcome!

Thanks for the Josiah Bancroft recommendation, SD and MSJ. He's on my list!
-BFK

263
General Earwa / Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
« on: May 09, 2017, 05:20:37 pm »
I lost?! I wasn't even mentioned?! The fact I flattered you with no submission doesn't rise to a standard of comedy worth mention?! More like it went over your head, you trash-at-the-curb hack of a "comedian" ... let me guess, your biggest audience consisted of 3 people ( the bar tender, a gnat on some rat shit and the cane handler ) for which you took the bright light in your eyes as "audience", it was really just obfuscating the "Absolute". Beard, you're dumb.
Lol, "the cane handler?"
Holy Hades! Looks like I inadvertently dissed Tao! Who, btw, has a great, if not lucrative, sideline as a heckler.

Tao, that rant is outstanding! It comes across as absolutely sincere, and, as they say, if you can fake sincerity, the world is your oyster.

Good day to you, sir.

<mutters, "Cane handler? WTF?">

264
General Earwa / Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
« on: May 09, 2017, 01:01:22 pm »
******   ATTENTION!    ******

After careful consideration and a judicious weighing of the various bribes offered, I have decided on a winner in the "Name That Comic!" Contest!

And the winner is.........

REDEAGL!

Yes, Redeagl's submission of the name "Zöreius Öenghûs" had that authentic ring for which I was looking. Congratulations, Red!

Respect must be paid to profgrape, whose late submission of "Nau-Yerbouti" threw the contest into an uproar and made the Judge's decision most difficult. The Judge decided that "Nau-Yerbouti" was a name more suitable for a character in our comic's routine, and, indeed, such a character will be created in the near future. Profgrape, your submission was not made in vain, and thanks for contributing!

Finally,  honourable mention goes to Wilshire, who suggested the nickname "Zorro" for our comic, helping to seal the deal in favour of Redeagl's submission. Thanks, Wilshire!

The noted thread, "The Greatest Eärwan Stand-Up Comedy Routine EVER!", will soon be updated to reflect the Contest's result.

Thanks to all for participating!

265
General Earwa / Re: Here goes ...
« on: May 09, 2017, 12:42:34 pm »

Ol' Moe, dead as a door nail, eh?
I've never understood how the "Moënghus lives!" theories get past the clear evidence of his death-by-Chorae. But as a way to while away the early summer days, I'll bite: What's the case for a living Moënghus?

266
General Earwa / Re: Nonmen Jokes
« on: May 08, 2017, 01:02:02 pm »
This joke was originally posted on the Eärwan Jokes thread. Imho, it's just too good to languish in obscurity on that thread, so......

A cop on the beat happens upon a Nonman beating the utter crap out of some guy. The cop shouts, "Hey, what the hell you doing beating the crap outta that guy?" The Nonman stops, turns to the cop and says, "Sorry, officer, but I'm just trying to remember where I parked my car."

267
General Earwa / Re: Here goes ...
« on: May 06, 2017, 07:46:14 pm »
Quite a compliment, Tao, thanks much. I'm thinking my style is more suited to little vignettes than the grand sweep of TSA. But the general idea of an extended side-by-side comic parody of TSA appeals greatly.

I think the Forum is your best one-stop-shop for all inquiries of an Eärwan nature. And I'm sure you're far from the only reader lost in the tall grass.

Hey, have you ever read "The Devil's Dictionary", by Ambrose Bierce?  That's exactly the kind of companion piece you're  looking for in TSA! It's generally very dry "definitions".... that could be a very enjoyable read!

Perhaps a new thread.....?

Yrs, BFK.

P. S. Check out the BFK post on the "Crazy speculation only" thread.

268
General Earwa / Re: "Name That Comic!" ..... The CONTEST!!
« on: May 06, 2017, 06:13:00 pm »
Nice try, Tao. Don't call us; we'll call you ....  ;)

269
General Earwa / Re: Here goes ...
« on: May 06, 2017, 06:11:30 pm »
Damn! Another skewer! Right through the heart!

It's all taken in good fun, Tao! And no, there's no TSA badinage in church. Perhaps the very occasional sotto voce remark, to lighten a tense mood. Our choir director is a temperamental sort.

270
General Earwa / Re: Here goes ...
« on: May 06, 2017, 02:02:14 am »
You expect us to believe you're ACTUALLY a comic musician? The cab driver thing is even suspect, but ok. Upon second thought, I'm sure your music is quite funny. What bullshit instrument you claim to know how to play, the harmonica?

Warmly,
The Horror of the Tao
The harmonica, as far as I can tell, is fairly difficult to play well, especially in a blues style. Lots of note-bending and over-blowing.

However, I do not play the harmonica.  I used to play piano fairly well, and still have some chops, although I couldn't cut it in a jazz session with any real players. I fool around with an African drum, the djembe, which is fun. And I've been singing in my church choir for 10 years now. I'm actually not good at melding comedy and music; separate endeavours.

As for cabdriving, why would you doubt my claim? Cab drivers need to be somewhat agile and quick-witted, qualities also found in musicians and comics.

Yours, 
The Fisher of Beards

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