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Messages - Dora Vee

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The Crabikiad / Re: What's the story!?
« on: November 29, 2017, 06:48:03 pm »
His death section with Yatwer calling him to her realm was beautiful and integral to the story, to what we lose when Meaning dies.

It won't mean anything to those who are damned.

Well, I would love to see other live reactions. :)

Also, what's up with every second word being "Proyas"

I...I...really don't know. *coughliescough*

Free Among the Dead - Diamanda Galás.

General Misc. / Re: Video Game Thread! What are you playing?
« on: November 26, 2017, 04:38:21 pm »
More with Dark Souls III. The Nersei Proyas build is complete and I am now playing with Drusas Achamian. Honestly, he's probably the best build I've ever had. Then again, he's pure intel, so....


The Thousand Fold Thought. 16% Complete.

1. Oh Esmenet. You might be best girl, but it’s unlikely that you’ll ever be best ruler or even all that much different from anyone else, hereditary or not. I guess laws/punishments still don’t apply equally to every one under the “new Prophet.” This is why it’s important to be careful about regime changes, even if(or especially if) the new regime is full of those who came from the “lower/disadvantaged classes”. History has shown that while some were WORLDS better than the previous herditaries, others were not better, and some were WORSE. I think Bakker is trying to send that message. Just because SHE was a caste-menial, doesn’t mean that she wants any kind of real change or revolution. It doesn’t mean that she’ll do anything to make things better for the lower classes. It doesn’t even mean she’s on their side in general.

There’s a good possibility that as a person currently in power, she’s one of the pigs in Animal Farm. They didn’t want a revolution, they just wanted to be Farmer John.

I say this because the punishment for those who were guilty of taking bribes/grafitti was BEING FLAYED ALIVE and then “posted”. The people guilty of it weren’t given any kind of questioning, afaik nor were they dismissed as “irrelevant”.

I mean, really, how much damage can some stupid obscene messages cause? Is Kellhus/Esmenet’s reign North Korea now? I know that blasphemy, heresy, and sacrilege were punishable, but not with being flayed alive. The worst punishment was being burnt to a stake and that was for heresy. Were these people heretics? If they were Noble, would they have been punished so severely? If so, then fuck, I’ll shut up then, but I suspect not.

I was actually quite upset about it even though I tried to rationalize it. The thing is, even Proyas wouldn’t have been this severe. He would have no doubt had them whipped, but not flayed alive. The only consolation was that she didn’t take any sadistic pleasure in it and admitted that she was horrified. She’s also honest about being drunk with the new power she has. If she was simply going by the letter of the current law, then I can understand that. If the Thywhatever menials were Nansur in disguise, then I can understand that too.

But, from what I’ve read, these were illiterate men paid to write some stuff by the Nansur. If there’s anyone who should be punished, it’s the Nansur who bribed them. But, they get away scott free, afaik.
Sorry, Esmenet, as it stands now, you’re no Danaerys and you’re sure as shit not a Jon Snow. Then again, no way in hell would she claim to be and I think she would have hated Dany. :/

You’re still best girl though and I think it’s easy for me to say the things I say when I live in a far more modern, liberal area and not in a world like Earwa. The thing is, there were punishments available that would have been just as effective. Like, a walk of shame, putting them in stocks and throwing cabbage at them, caning, prison colony, exile, and if they had to be put to death, than hanging/beheading. Save the flaying for the Boltons.

2. Kellhus TOTALLY had Conphas pegged! Holy shit! The thing is, EVERY ONE was right. It’s sad that Conphas and Cnauir are the only two who can see right through him. Oh Conphas, how can you be so right and so wrong? However, I think Cnaiur is wrong when he claims that Conphas is the only one with the “force of character” to keep the loyalty of his men. Proyas is the other one, but he is clearly on Kellhus’s side.

3. Speaking of Proyas, it’s no shock that he was the first to kneel to Kellhus. No shock that he was among the penitent to get whipped. No shock that Esmenet does not think much of him. I think he was repentant of both Kellhus and Achamian, but if I had to choose, it would be more the latter. He was so damned nasty of Achamian and if he really DID betray Achamian, then hell yea, he should be penitent. Just that, I don’t think he really did. He just blames himself for the Scarlet Spires getting to Achamian and not being able to do much of anything since he needs them.

4. Back to Conphas. Hell yea, he’s “defective”, but Kellhus thinks that way of all “world born”. Also, unless his reaction was an act, then it’s clear that Kellhus got to him. To be fair though, it doesn’t take much to anger a sociopath/malignant narcissist. And no, Conphas was never “of the Tusk”. Any dumb-ass could have figured that out. And there WERE treaties made between the Fanim and the Nansur. Why else did Hinnereth surrender only to the Nansur? And yea, color me shocked that Kellhus(through Proyas) has ordered the death of Conphas. He will always be a threat of some sort.

I don’t understand why Kellhus would “brook” no competition though. I don’t think he’s THAT insecure. Then again, if HE IS like Conphas, then he “wants it all/every thing.” Gee, isn’t greed a sin too?

5. Achamian is STILL the bees knees. The Scarlet Spires are so screwed! LOL!


The Thousand Fold Thought 31% complete. I feel like I’m flying through this one.

1. So Kellhus and Esmenet have become the Boltons now? I guess the flayed man will be part of their banners. Kellhus could have easily gotten that information from those new people just by talking to them. I understand not trusting those too eager to serve, but I found that torturing them and then flaying them alive completely unnecessary.

He could have kept them as prisoners of war and then have them fight/forage in the front lines for a certain period of time. If they are caught trying to escape, then hang them, but if they survive for a certain period of time, then they can officially join. I guess they didn’t have time for that. Such bullshit. And Achamian just does his damnedest to ignore him. I don’t blame him for that. Despite being viziar and a powerful Mandate Schoolan, he is pretty much powerless in this.

2. Conphas, how can you be so smart and yet so dumb? Smart man, foolish choices. Sociopathy is no excuse. Oh, and Kellhus could have gotten to him by appealing to his self-interest, but unfortunately, he is considered a rival. Anyway, YOU DO NOT ANTAGONIZE someone like Cnaiur. Good god that was DUMB.

3. Looks like the Consult is trying to reel in Cnaiur. Can’t say I blame them for that. Yet Moenghus is considered a greater threat? Really? Well, I guess he is more experienced than Kellhus.

4. Xerius face when he, well, tries to bed his own mother:
You will be missed, Xerius. You might have been an awful Emperor, but you were great comic relief. So, Conphas is now Emperor. I can’t blame then Consult for setting that up. Despite Conphas being a clear sociopath, he would make a much better Emperor. The real Istriya would have wanted it that way.

5. Xinemus. :( Someone give him a seeing snek. At least Proyas is taking care of him.

6. LOL! Proyas! Come on! Did you really think that many people from the Nansur would turn on Conphas? Proyas erupted though, that’s for sure, but he had to have been shrewd enough to know that the Nansur were VERY loyal to Conphas. I mean, that’s kindergarten knowledge.

7.  Poor Achamian. Maybe he’ll find someone else. Someone even more suited to him. :( Esmenet is lost to him, I’m afraid. Man, that ship sunk. Talk about Jossed. So, she is to be the Mistress of Spies? Oh, interesting. And the “hammer” for Kellhus too, it seems. Well, she’s certainly competent enough no matter what sort of “dragon/right hand” she ends up as.

8. Oh dear. Kellhus had Akka hypnotized and gee, I wonder what that Cant of Calling will be used for. Gnosis sounds tough as hell to learn, but I can understand that. Kellhus learning it so quickly isn’t much of a shock. Oh, and I suspect that just as he brooks no rival, he also wouldn’t brook any kind of strays/deviance even if they’re not even close to being a threat.

At least in Earth, the religious generally accept (or are supposed to) the fact that some people are “lost” and will ALWAYS be that way. The “word” will never get to them even if they outright lie and claim to be “converted” when they’re not. So, you dust off your footwear and move on to more “fertile” soil. Well, in theory, at least.

I don’t think Kellhus or his followers would “move on” from people like that. No one will be “special” or ANYTHING enough to be the exception to Kellhus’s rule(to make it clear, I’m all for laws/punishments applying equally to every one, but that’s not what I’m talking about) There is no “my way or highway” because with that, people can choose the highway. But with the “new rule”, it’s my way or DIEway.

I could be wrong, but this is what I suspect. I know that forced conversions(you know, the bullshit way of converting people) was a thing on Earth and on Earwa, but it was VERY possible to get away with being deceitful/hypocritical. It was also possible to escape it, though difficult.

With Kellhus? He’d spot that in an instant. The problem is that, even if you were to convert, you’d end up as a slave(that didn’t change), which I always considered a fate worse than death. I guess a better way to put it is “live as a slave or die”. Choosing “freedom” or something else is pretty much saying that you’re choosing to die.


38% Complete. The Thousand Fold Thought. Prepare your anus!

1. Blood and Shit: A love story. Two men, mortal enemies turned lovers. Together, they fight cr–anyone who isn’t them! CNAIUR/CONPHAS: OTP, FTW! Pffft. yea. Anyway, holy fuck Cnaiur went there! DAYUM!

(Conphas and Cnaiur sit on cushions. A hookah is between then. Conphas takes a deep breath of flavorful smoke).
Conphas: Wow. I haven’t fucked like that since I was five.
Cnaiur(Raises eyebrow): You wanna have my abortion?
Conphas(smiles): I would be honored to have your abortion.

I’m going to hell for that. Show of hands who is shocked that the Nansur attacked? Yea, I didn’t think so.

2. Poor Cnaiur. He’s in that situation where if he knew THEN what he knew now. Meh, I think he was in plenty of those situations. It is totally true that he would be the world’s worst assassin. It’s interesting that Cnaiur didn’t think that “culling the willful” would apply to him. As for Kellhus, if he really wanted Cnaiur dead, then there were easier ways to make that happen.

One that didn’t involve the deaths of hundreds of Conriyan Knights and Thunyeri. As for Conphas, I wonder if he was counting on getting raped. If he was, then that is a double DAYUM. Another one: He dragged his wardrobe through the desert. I’ve made parody type jokes about that. “Oh, let’s not go anywhere without your ROYAL LUGGAGE.”  But, for Conphas to do that for real? It certainly does speak volumes.

3. No, Esmenet, you didn’t change “jnan”. The players and their locations simply changed, nothing more. Proyas was “king of the Holy War” and now it’s Kellhus. Cnaiur was the “Queen”(most powerful piece, imo) and now it’s YOU(which is, tbh, a lot more fitting).

IOW, the players might have changed but the game remains the same. Glad she read the Sagas though and yes, Achamian IS strong. He is the TITTIES!

I think that’ll do for now.


50% Complete. Yup. Flying through this one. I even read this while on vacation. lolol. Anyway:

1. So, Saubon’s nephew died. Okay. Too bad. I guess Saubon will be making a comeback now.

2. TIL that surrendering is not punishment enough. And we ALL know whose heads ended up on that wall. The sick, the oldest, the least popular, those in prison, those who died BEFORE the “toll” or whatever the hell that was. I guess they didn’t have time for trickery though, unless they can make soap/whatever sculptures with paint/dye quickly. Yea, they were counted, but I doubt the people doing had the expertise to know the difference between the head of someone freshly killed and someone who had died before the “toll”.

They probably would, however, be able to tell a fake at close range. Derp. Then again, maybe Kellhus didn’t give a shit about any tricks or whose heads ended up on walls. 

The thing is, I know that WORSE has been done on planet Earth for much less. Eh, it’s war and you don’t win wars by playing nice.

3. Eli is being pathetic. Good grief. Quick! Someone replace this Grandmaster. It’s no shock that Esmenet would be disgusted with him. He tried to get to her and she saw right through that one. Her being “caste menial” and a woman has no bearing on her merit and current position.

Yea, yea, yea, she’s there because of Kellhus, but she’s THERE for a reason. The same with Casca of Berserk. She was second in command of the Hawks. She was there for good reason too. Eli can just vanish at this point.

4. Conphas/Cnaiur! OTP! WHHOO!! Conphas desires Cnaiur. Oh yes he does. No, he isn’t in love. I don’t think Conphas is capable of loving anyone, except himself. He sounds like an erotomaniac though. “I know you really love me.” Cnaiur, however, would rather hang around with a bunch of skin-spies/The Consult. It wouldn’t surprise me if Cnaiur desired Conphas too though. Hate/Anger sex, FTW. Maybe sex is intellect too. lel.

5. Kellhus’s speech. Man, that was a snooze fest. I actually like sermons and consider them among my favorite parts of Church. However, I’m either VERY attentive/respectful or I am so irreverent that I’m surprised I don’t find myself being burnt alive. I liked his speech to Achamian, but “who is this menial who speaks as a King?” Eh, whatever. Bla Bla Bla. And people ate it up. Good to know that Achamian is no longer damned. How convenient. I’m sure Proyas will be glad to hear that.

6. Speaking of Proyas, does he not understand why Achamian isn’t responding the way he’s “supposed to?” I know Achamian asks why he’s being so grudge bearning, but it should be obvious why. It will take awhile to fully repair this relationship and unless Xinemus gets a seeing snek, things won’t be the same. Even if he did get a snek, things still won’t be completely the same. Torture tends to do that to people.

7. Am I the only one who notices that the ancient Crown Prince and Proyas seem to be very much alike? Things that make you go hmmm…

8. Of course slavery would agree with someone who lives a nice, cushy life with a Mistress who adores you and treats you well. Except that, you’re still a slave and a guilded cage is still a cage. Slaves are far more entrapped than those in power.

9. Skin spies trying to get to Kellhus. Yea, that’ll end well.

10. I really do wonder if there’ll be a “blow up the city” scenario. Some enemies really are that intent on not being conquered. Maybe Shimeh? They are very close. 


Thousand Fold Thought. 53% Complete.

NOOOO!! Xinemus! NOOO! Don’t die! We’ll get you a snek! A healing snek! You’ll see Shimeh, right? NOOO!!! SAD! I cried at this! Fuck this! Poor Achamian! His only friend. :( Who does Akka have now? NO ONE, that’s who! At least that’s how he feels.Yea, why does he always get the stone?

And the flashback scene. My god that was painful. Him screaming at Proyas, dealing with Kellhus. Someone give Akka a HUG. :( He is such a wreck. *cries*

I think either Tuberculosis and cancer did Xin in. If only he got a seeing snek.
Looks like Akka is starting to see Kellhus for who he is…oh dear.

58% complete.

1. Oh Esmenet. I like the fact that she can(and has) faught off asshole men, but in this case, she went way too far. Demanding that asshole kneel and threatening to flay him alive? Fuck that. Just hitting him and calling him “Insolent Dog” before walking away would have been sufficient.

Don’t give me shit about “being forced by station” because that is bullshit. What she did was equivalent to beating someone for downloading a game. At least she questioned/analyzed why she went that far and only felt good about it because he was an ASSHOLE. She admitted to herself that it was petty.

I guess she’s just fed up with being viewed with contempt for being a woman/caste menial/prostitute.
The monologue about submission? Oh, that shit? I was STEAMING. Here’s my response:

To submit willingly is one thing. If that’s your kink, then go for it. I do agree with the sentiment that “what yields is not always weak”/can be a good strategy, etc. But, I hope that there is some understanding as to why some people are reluctant to submit to another easily.

It’s not always conceit. Fear is a huge factor and so a “never again” attitude for those who have been forced to submit. This is especially true with those who’ve been taken advantage of/abused.

And that garbage about “great remaining great and small remaining small” is also complete bullshit. When it comes to “greatness”, it’s largely a question of who you ask. And as for “remaining small”, many people are FORCED to remain “small”.

Those who “remain great” often have a great deal of support, but downfalls do happen and people from humble beginnings have gotten better lives. Esmenet did. Of course, Kellhus was a huge reason for that, but isn’t SHE supposed to be “great” now? The point is that things don’t have to remain the way they are. You don’t have to stay in your place unless you’re an actor playing a role.

Ugh. Just fuck that whole thing. Honestly, I can’t be the only one who thinks that there can be those who are outside of all this?

2. Oh yea, holy Shimeh. Holy shit. I’d like to see a picture of that city. Must be beautiful. Proyas crying? *huggies*

3. Achamian, oh no. Do you know why I like him? It’s because I see a lot of myself in him, minus the sorcery. Kellhus has targeted you. You’ll be on the same boat as Conphas and Cnaiur. Not exactly the best of company. I fear for you. :(

4. Oh Sompas. Too bad. Looks like Conphas is going to have a little BBQ. And yea, it is TOTALLY something Conphas is more than capable of and without a shred of remorse either and he’d love every second of it. You want to talk extreme punishment?

He is certainly the sort. At least Esmenet will have doubts and feel bad, but not this guy. She has a great deal of humanity no matter her “station”, but Conphas? Not really. Not anywhere near as much as say, Proyas. He is FAR more unnerving. So is Kellhus.

5. So, Kellhus, you’re off to see your father. Can’t wait for this one. And when it comes to Shimeh, I expect to see the BEST BATTLE EVER!!!!1111

The Thousandfold Thought 70% Complete. Oh man, shit just got REAL.

1. Moenghus certainly isn’t off on the things he’s said, but not entirely on either. Some of it was a bit oversimplified. And weakness such as “fear, sloth, compassion…” Er, yea. One of those things does not belong. However, it’s totally true that belief in the Holy War spurned people into great acts of courage and diligence. It’s not that they lacked compassion. They just didn’t have it for the Fanim lands because “heathens”.

It’s no shock that the PASSION magics would be beyond him/Dunyain. They are the opposite of passion. While I do agree that the Dunyain are physically superior and ARE smarter in the logical sense, but in terms of arts? Poetry? Writing? Comedy? Anything that involves the FEE FEES? No. No way. Kellhus is just being arrogant. Or as arrogant as people like him can be.

The fact that Moenghus couldn’t completely use Cisharuim pretty much proves that. I really like how Kellhus and Moenghus call each other out though. I loved the interaction between them. Mathinet being Kellhus’s HALF-BROTHER is one hell of a twist. I thought he was the Synthese/Consult.

2. I love how Cnaiur made it clear to Achamian that he didn’t want anything bad to happen to Proyas. I also love how Achamian made it happen while protecting Esmenet. I didn’t think that HE would be the one who would take down the Imperial Army. I mean, I KNOW he has the ability, but I just didn’t think he would be so directly involved. Pretty sweet. Sometimes people need to be reminded that Achamian is the TITS.

3. Esmenet is so much better when she ISN’T the Prophet-Consort. However, I can understand her despair about being “used”. I mean, how can SHE resist Kellhus? Look what happens to people who have tried. At best, they end up in the same boat and Conphas and Cnaiur. At worst, they…well, are killed. She KNOWS that and it’s likely that she knows that it CAN happen to her.
4. PROYAS! I just love seeing him in battle. I think the “not like this” was a nice touch. Reminded me of the Matrix, but yea, I can understand why he feels the way he does. Good to know he smells a rat too. Maybe Shimeh will be a “burn the Sept” moment? Oh, he better get the hell out of there. Tippytoes and Sister are ADORABLE names for siege engines.

5. Looks like Cnaiur is on his way to Moenghus. This is going to be fun.

6. Show of hands, who is surprised that Conphas had ambitions beyond Nansur? Aspect-Emperor, huh? Figures. Given what Achamian has just done, good luck with that.


75% Complete.

1. PROYAS! Crowning moment of AWESOME! I kept picturing that scene over and over again. Each one more perfect than the next. I just loved that. I was wondering if he actually had one, but it should have been obvious that he would. If bowman, people like Geshrunni, and Cnaiur can get one, then yea, the CROWN PRINCE OF CONRIYA, a very religious man, would have one too. Good thing he did. And the sentiment behind it(a gift from his mother) was a nice touch.

I know damned well why he wept. Relief, exhausted(he was going crazy during the battle, but he was able to resist the temptation of killing/raping the two women), the loss of the gift(can they be retrieved once used?), helping magic users, shock, killing a powerful Cisharium, Shimeh an utter wreck, etc. He has every right to cry. Give this guy a pizza and soda.

Don’t give him women though. Apparently, he fears them for some reason. Show me on the doll where the women touched you. ;)

2. Conphas is down and quite frankly, I found it rather cheap. It’s no shock to see Saubon again, but there simply wasn’t enough between the two to warrant the act fitting. I quit caring about Saubon the moment he chose to stay and be “King”. Cnaiur killing him would have been far more fitting. Kellhus killing him would have been more fitting.

Even more fitting is if he manages to survive to fight another day and then have Proyas kill him. oops, my biases are showing. There could have been so much more done with Conphas, but NOOOO. Cnaiur/Conphas ship sunk. Sad trombone.

3. Eliazaurus is down for the count. Bye. He too had a crowning moment of awesome. Hell, all of mages DID. Gothyelk down. Bye.

4. Achamian is STILL being awesome.

5. Looks like Moenghus is also down for the count. Kellhus thinks he’s more than a Dunyain. Does he think he’s a God? Well, that would work if you want every one to believe the same things. If this saves the world…well, I’d be for it depending on what kind of world we end up. If it’s the same shit, then eh, let the Consult have it. Let them wipe out a bunch of people so they can prolong the inevitable. I doubt they’ll be beginning again should the world end up destroyed.

Then again, when cataclysms happen, rebuilding is all that can be done, but right now it’s too early tell much of anything at all, really. I will miss Moenghus though. I’m pretty sure he will die. I guess he was too much of a threat.

6. The battle rages on, but there will be nothing left of Shimeh. I think the deaths are about done now, except for Fanayal. I think that Crown Prince will be killed. Would be fitting if he was killed by another Crown Prince *ProyascoughProyas*. But, who knows? A lot of things are up in the air at this point, but I honestly think that only Kellhus wins all of this. The Tusk and the Fane will be irrelevant. Seems obvious to me.


The Thousandfold Thought.  Now complete! The rest was basically a glossary that I skimmed over. So now, I can talk about the Prince of Nothing trilogy without fear of spoilers(well, in the first trilogy). Moving on to the Aspect Emperor.

1. Proyas and Achamian were tied as my favorites, but in the end, Achamian won by a MILE. The way he stood up to Kellhus in front of so many people. Holy shit! That wins! That is a winner! THAT is Achamian’s Crowning Moment of Awesome. I wish more people did that. Oh, Cnaiur will. Conphas is dead, which, like I said, is just cheap and quite frankly implausible unless Kellhus somehow got to the Nansur army. Anyway, Achamian is the winner. He is DONE WITH EVERY ONE, including Esmenet. He was super harsh with her, unfortunately, but he was DONE. DONE. DONE.

2. Proyas, Proyas, Proyas. Achamian is right. Too late. I’m sorry. You can pray all you want, you can promise all you want, you can think Achamian will return willingly, but like I said, too late.

3. Cnaiur is such a mess. I wish he lived in a world where no one gave a shit if you were gay, straight, bi, ace, demi, poly, whatever. Wish he could live in that world. He would still be the most VIOLENT OF MEN because he is fucking fierce, but at least he wouldn’t be such a wreck. HE will not be bowing to Kellhus. Not now, not ever.

4. So much for Moenghus, but there’s a good possibility that he was still trying to manipulate Cnaiur in order to continue using him. Fuck that shit. Still, I knew he was going to die and it’s really a shame, tbh.

5. Iyokus is still alive? I’m surprised.

6. Read the first PARAGRAPH of the Judging Eye and found that…well, fuck  it. I’m Team Consult, ESPECIALLY if something happens to Achamian. It’s honestly the same shit, but different smell and shine. There’s my “judging Eye”. I guess I expect too much when it comes to change. (Yea, I have presentitis. I don't think that'll go away).

7. I hope that if Achamian DOES kneel, it’ll be to punch Kellhus in the dick.

The Warrior-Prophet / My Tumblr Reactions to TWP
« on: November 25, 2017, 04:44:54 pm »

(For those who prefer reading these on Tumblr).

I can't tell how far I'm in "The Warrior Prophet" as the Kindle goes by percentages, but the kindle is all I have available for now. It's like 14% complete or something.


1. Aw man, Proyas is checked out. Saubon and Conphas are fighting like anime girls glaring at each other. Proyas? Head in hands and uncertain what to do. Then, here comes Kellhus to SAVE THE DAY and Proyas finally decides. Interesting. Then again, I don't doubt that there is a great deal of pressure on Proyas and sometimes even the best of people "fall down sometimes". Except for Kellhus, it seems.

2. Esmenet and Akka are back together! HOORAY! So touching. Outcasts together. I tend to like these kinds of pairings. I never mentioned that before, have I? No doubt she'll meet Kellhus. She'll probably meet a lot of people, but I think only a couple of people will accept her. The shit both Esmenet and Akka go through. They're such comforts for each other and I like that.

3. Oh shit. Skin Spy. Quick! Someone kill it!

4. LOVED the story Akka told Kellhus. That was one hell of a visual image, but I think Akka revealed way too much to Kellhus. I can understand as Akka is a bit enthralled by him, but telling him about the Mandate? Oh dear. He's not turning Kellhus to the Mandate and I think it'll bite him in the ass. Hoping not, but it wouldn't surprise me. Can't stress this enough: When someone is too good to be true, they usually are. Remember boys and girls, Kellhus wants EVERY ONE under his control.

5. The magic fight between Eli and the mercenary magic man would have been fun to see on TV. Once they reach every one else, dollars to donuts that Proyas will be treating them differently than with Akka. Oh, he will still consider them "blasphemers", but the hostility won't be so apparent. I think Proyas' problem with Akka stems from the fact that he may have been trying to get Akka to "repent" and convert to the Tusk. Akka refused and now he is being blasted by Mount Proyas. Man, God help you if Proyas has a problem with you.

6. Aww...poor slaves and Akka. Not invited to the religious festival. That's the thanks slaves get for their hard work. Would have been a perfect opportunity for rebellion/escapes. Wouldn't that be a hoot if that happened in the middle of the Holy War? Good luck trying to retrieve them during a war.

7.  Interesting bull parable. Yea, sure, it's about courage. A bull that is stronger doesn't make the other one not a bull or weak. I think, however, that it might also be a warning against stupidity/bad judgement.

8. Empress Istriya is being a bit creepy now. No mother in her right mind wants to watch her children have sex. Yikes.

9. I think what happened in Akka's dream will happen again, but it will really BE HIM and with a different person, of course. Whether or not the outcome is the same, well, can't say now for reasons that should be obvious.


Around 35% complete. Going at a fast pace. It’s difficult to put the book down. Then again, it’s been that way since  "The Darkness that Comes Before".

1. MY GOD! The battle at Mengedda. HOLY SHIT. If that ever made it to a screen of any kind, it would be a sight to behold. Just amazing. Just when you think one side is going to win, HERE COMES A TWIST! WOW! And then Proyas appears with his force. Oh man. That was an eyeopener, but then again, I shouldn’t be surprised. Proyas needs all that people he can get and I can’t imagine him just saying “welp, fuck them, let’s keep going.” Not even Conphas would have done that unless he didn’t have any use for them.

Anyway, Proyas  shows once again how full throttle he really is. Like I said before, he is the sort who can get to a three hour destination in one hour. If this series was more like Mad Max, he’d be standing on the gas pedal. God I love him even when he can a bit rage inducing.

Anyway, Saubon was a amazing in combat. Damn. No wonder he didn’t end up in trouble. Then again, he’s doing a good job punishing himself.

2. As for the dreams, I think the people who have them were there in a past life. They’re simply remembering what happened. And since the No-God was there, no wonder Akka freaked out. Loved the scene with him and Esmenet. SOOO CUUTE. I bet that doll is a voodoo doll.

3. Yea, Kellhus did take a risk. Looks like it paid off for both him and Saubon, even though Saubon is a bit of a mess. I guess Sarcellus/Skin Spy will be sticking around. Bummer. Interesting fight with him.

4. Xerius is just comic relief at this point and he’s pretty much doing the opposite of what his mother was trying to teach him. There is a reason why so many people hate him and it figures that he doesn’t get it.

5. Both Cnauir and Kellhus have Conphas pegged. He is certainly a sociopath or a malignant narcissist. Still, it’s always fun to have him around and I love the interaction with his friend/general. I actually enjoy his interactions with every one. I wish Proyas would have Conphas pegged. Maybe he does though. I bet Saubon does.

6. I peaked a bit and it looks like it’s mostly exposition. Then again, adding dialogue/more action/character interaction would make the book like 2857285758 pages long. The part involving forced conversion is/was infuriating. I’ve always been infuriated with that sort of thing. See, most organized religions have learned (in some cases, the hard way) that forced conversion is a VERY bad idea. There are reasons for this, to put it simply.

Worse yet, the Fanim in that city basically had to choose between slavery and death. And when I say slavery, I’m talking about chattel slavery, which imo, is a fate worse than death. But, that’s just me.

I hope that the Holy War encounters cities/countries that destroy themselves rather than live as slaves or conquests of a bunch of religious zealots. That actually HAS happened in history. In some cases, it’s scorched earth policy. The thing is, I doubt the Fanim were/are much better though. They had slavery too(and likely have been guilty of forced conversions), but they’re not the aggressors in this case.

I honestly just wish that it would rain gasoline and fire on the “Holy War”. Or someone can “blow up the sept”. Sad really, I like/love most of the characters involved.

7. I did spot the beginning of interaction between Proyas and Xin. Hooray. I don’t know what it’s about though. I should stop peaking now. Dollars to donuts, Proyas asks where Achamian is. Maybe that’s wishful thinking.

8. Tekne is technology. Has to be. Would be interesting to learn more about that.


45% complete.

1. Kellhus, are you for real? You really sent Serwe to rape Achamian. Not cool, man, not cool. Poor Achamian is being played. Who am I kidding? They ALL are, except for Conphas. He can’t seriously be the only one. COME ON. It is, however, largely true that zealous behavior is EVERY WHERE. Achamian isn’t, but he fears that he is and of course, that’s taken advantage of.

2. As for the sermon, well, Kellhus isn’t entirely off on that, but it’s hardly an absolute thing. As for “people are weak”, well I found that a bit eye-rolling. It’s not so much that people are weak(honestly, there are many kinds of strength anyway), it’s that they’re generally powerless. They don’t have the same advantages as those who grew up in privilege and they generally don’t have the backing of the military.

When there’s something one cannot do on their own, most people will turn to someone/something else and there’s nothing wrong with that.. Just that, in this case, they’re being convinced that they’re “weak”, “alone”, bla bla bla and that they “need” a savior. Honestly, some people do, but others don’t. However, it’s no shock that the vulnerable/powerless are being targeted first. The more difficult one, like Martemus, would be targeted next. Poor Proyas inadvertently played right into Kellhus’s hands by reading scripture with him.

It just goes to show you that most people are ill-equipped to deal with someone like Kellhus, even the “mighty”. 

The message is that relying on the wrong savior is dangerous and so is relying on just one. People who really NEED a savior have to be especially carefully, but sadly, that can be a very difficult thing to do when you are desperate.

3. There’s no way in hell that Proyas and Conphas could have ever been friends. It wouldn’t take too long for Proyas to see Conphas for what he is and he would hate Conphas as much as he does “blasphemers”. It’d be worse, in fact. Only, Conphas would only find it amusing. However, Proyas managed to brilliantly trick Conphas. Yea, Hurricane Proyas is dangerous to underestimate. Too bad it can’t go beyond that seeing as Conphas is way too popular. I think Mortemus is in danger though. If Kellhus doesn’t get him, Conphas will.

4. Akka would have never in a zillion years taught Proyas the gnosis even if he was the few. I mean, it’s not likely. Can you imagine though? What if Proyas discovers that HE is among the Few? Combine his powerful faith, emotion, will, and MAGIC and he would be potent as fuck. There really WOULD be a dragon within in. Like there isn’t already.

5. Oh that library. All that knowledge. If there is one thing that irritates the shit out of me, it’s the “one true path” nonsense. When such a claim is made, I know that it’s not. When other paths are being destroyed and kept away from others, it tells me that there are very real fears that others will take different paths and that people won’t be so easily manipulated or trapped because they have other options.

Don’t like this one religion? Find something more compatible then. People more concerned with control than anything else can’t have that. Honestly, organized religion can easily be considered one big cult. Only they’re not as isolating in general.

Anyway, the magic fight. Would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that. God, Achamian is powerful. He is truly the bees knees. The imagery with him on the way to the library is beautiful. Joy and Love. Yea. I wonder how long that will last? 

6. I wish Cnauir would try to do what Conphas is trying to do. I guess he doesn’t care enough. As for Conphas, it'c clearly because he can’t stand losing control.

7. Poor Xin. He probably had no idea that he was being played too. How do you think the Scarlet Spires got into that library?

8. I peaked a bit and it looks like Kellhus is trying to get to Esmenet. BOO!!!!!! 

9. Akka had a male lover when he was younger? Interesting and sad what happened to him.


64% complete. Getting there. Right now, it’s the Proyas show, starring a CRISIS OF FAITH! YEE HAW!

1. It became the Proyas show once he had his obvious crisis of faith. All the things he was thinking in the beginning was obviously done to try to justify NOT saving Achamian and then condemning Esmenet. The Tusk generally demands that they both die. But, if this is the case, then why weren’t the whores among the campfires stoned to death? Why wasn’t Esmenet executed too? No one in the camp did that, not even Proyas. I can see Achamian/Scarlet Spires being spared as they are necessary, but the prostitutes? How necessary are they for the Holy War. I guess that depends on who you ask. I personally am not against prostitution, btw.

He’s trying to be ideologically pure(VERY dangerous, no matter the ideology), but can’t do it. His conscience is VERY strong. Like I said, he is the opposite of Conphas and Kellhus. Damnit, he knows he’s wrong. Not so much for believing in the Tusk, but for taking it to such extremes.

And what the hell does “men are not equal” have to do with anything? Every time I see that statement, I roll my eyes.

Then again, when Declaration of Independence says “We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal”, I roll my eyes at that too. When people fight for “equality”, they’re not talking about making every one Agent Smith, they’re talking about equal rights. Equal to who? Those with the highest privilege. But, that’s irrelevant.

Let me tell you what is relevant. While I do agree that actions/merit dictate “the worth of one’s pulse”(or something like that), I also agree that people can be very biased. Look what Xinemus did. To him, Achamian was worth pretty much every thing and every one. Not the best way to think, but it’s not uncommon, unfortunately.

Proyas acknowledged that. Many families will put the safety of their own above ANYONE no matter how much more “worth” those not in the family/group might have. No doubt Proyas would understand that too. HOWEVER, he tends to think in terms of the big picture(well, for the Tusk), so on one hand, he’s thinking “why should I”?, but on the other, it’s fucking killing him. That’s why he is recalling all the time he spent with Achamian. It’s huge reason why he is currently looking like a hot mess.

It’s easy to condemn people you don’t know or dislike, but if it’s someone you love/like/whatever, then it becomes a lot more difficult. Hell, some people love serial killers and I don’t mean in terms of being fascinated by such people either.

When he told the Shrial that Achamian was dead, I honestly thought “WTF?” But, then I remembered that he DID threaten the Scarlet Spires. I don’t think Eli was lying about that. And really, what would the TEMPLES want with Achamian? If Proyas himself is very angry at Achamian for being a blasphemer, then what would the Temples to do him? Consult or not, no way would the Temple ask for a sorcerer unless they have ill intent. They have the Scarlet Spires. No way they’d need a Mandate Schoolman no matter how awesome his magic is.

But, there is this a part of me that wonders if maybe he’s tired of “compromising” over people like Achamian. That maybe the “Holy shouldn’t follow the wicked and light shouldn’t follow dark”(or something like that) That maybe he should do the ideologically pure thing and leave Achamian to the Spires. But, if that’s the case, then he better get rid of camp whores too, including Esmenet. They’re supposed to be STONED, remember? I hope that small part of me is DEAD FUCKING WRONG.

Another part of me makes this much simpler: Proyas honestly believes that Achamian is dead and it has shattered him. My gut is saying that the first interp is the most likely. Especially since he is now aware that he is just another piece on the Shrial’s “benjaku” board. If this was chess, Proyas would totally be the Queen. :D

He’s crying because he’s obviously conflicted and plagued with doubt(for once). Kind of reminds of the ending of the movie “Doubt”. And yes, Achamian IS alive and he will be saved one way or the other.

2. Now for some random statements:

The imagery with a younger Proyas was gorgeous. The way it was described: beautifully poetic.

I wish Chauir lived in a country where no one cares if you’re gay, bi, or straight. I don’t think he would be so tortured if he did. Loved his talk of war and I liked the fact that he tried to save a woman and her baby.

Poor woman and baby. :( Collateral damage does happen though.

Kellhus? Oh him. Yea, whatever. I like how he scratched out the “stone the whores” though. Still wants to dominate EVERY ONE. For what? Well, like I said before, I think he wants a “still world” with no desire, no feeling, only the LOGOS. Yea, Zeal is everywhere. Kellhus has his eye on Esmenet. Figures. Yea, all these things are perfect opportunities for Kellhus.

Poor Martemus’s days are numbered unless Kellhus and his apostles take him in.
Achamian had the best quote ever. EVER.

And now, some comedy:


67% complete.

1. Good God that desert march. Just reading that obviously condensed account was an ordeal. The only ones I have sympathy for are the ones who were forced into this Holy War. The others? LOLOL! TOO BAD. Took a risk and it didn’t pay off. I’m actually happy that Achamian and Xinemus were not present. Anyway, the choices made couldn’t have been easy for people like Proyas. I’ll be honest here, of all the “great names”, I think Proyas is really the only one worth following. Kellhus doesn’t count because he is a beep-boop like Conphas.

 How convenient that Kellhus happened to find a well. As for the Imperial Ships, I think that was done on purpose too. VILE. Even to people like religious zealots. Was I the only one who KNEW it was a sandstorm before it was called?

2. Yup. Kellhus asked the right questions about women to Esmenet and he has her. Gee, color me shocked. As for “the other” who would renounce Achamian so Kelhus could have them, I wondered who it would be. Serwe is already with Kellhus. So Proyas? Like completely renounce Achamian? Damn that would suck. Xinemas? Oh hell no. That would suck even more. But, those are the only two I can think of.

3. Poor Mimara. Sold into slavery. :( I guess Esmenet was telling herself that her daughter died.

4. The flashback with child Kellhus….WTF? “Defectives…” Good grief.


71% Complete.

1. XINEMUS! NOOOO! Poor Xinemus. Yea, I’m pretty sure he’s dead. Even if he does survive, he is so ruined. Proyas will be spitting fire and shitting brimstone. But, Achamian saves him and it is AWESOME! WOW! It’s interesting that the Spires never figured out that Seswatha is why they can’t get anything out of the Mandate Schoolmen. I wish that doll got there before Xinemus did.

2. I think the desert tragedy could have been prevented if they told the vast majority of non-combatants to GO HOME or stay in Gedea/Shigek. Then again, they didn’t know that the Kian had destroyed the ships with the Cisharuim. Hell, I didn’t realize it until it was mentioned by the Scarlett Addict. Nice set-up. 200,000 dead. 2/3rds of the Holy War gone. The total is basically the population of Pensecola, Fl. Yeesh. Like I said before, I save my sympathy for those who were forced to join.

3. Oh dear. Big city about to get sieged with nasty plague and nasty fighting. Pretty sure Holy War will win, but it will cost many lives. By the time they get to Shimeh, there’ll be like two people left.

4. So Cnaiur saves Proyas. I didn’t even know he collapsed in the desert. I thought there’d be scenes of them traveling together, but looks like there won’t be as Proyas was trying to secure a surrender. Well, he tried. No surprise that the city would refuse to surrender. “Proud cities don’t yield.” Then again, most of the other cities didn’t yield easily either.


78% Complete

1. XINEMUS! SAD! Well, at least he’s still alive. At least Akka is still with him. Torture is massive trauma, so it’s not a shock that they are both a bit different now.

2. Cnaiur is just too hard on people. Sickness can be a bit debilitating, so of course, they’re going to be a bit weakened. I wouldn’t call it disgusting unless they’re acting like babies over say, a cold. Or a Trulicity shot. Anyway, Cnaiur is quite tsundere with the equally tsundere Proyas. However, I agree with Cnaiur assessment of him. Proyas commands respect, even when he is sick. It is pretty impressive to do what you can to maintain dignity when you’re sick. That being said, I’m none too keen on Saubon trying to take advantage of it.

3. Conphas, that “inner voice” is known as a conscience. Yea, I know it’s distasteful, but it exists for many people. And yes, there are fates worse than death. Enslavement does tend to be one of them. I guess the only thing worse than that is chattel slavery in a galley. He is doing his damnedest to get rid of Kellhus, but he can’t to grasp that there is a REASON why so many people dislike him. Psst…it’s not because you’re a “better”. People tend to dislike sociopaths unless they’re Dexter.

4. Thanks for reminding me that the sacking of a city can be fucking nasty. Yea, I totally needed to be reminded of that. It’s a war, so…figures. Love how Proyas went in while sick and in a litter! LOL! He’s never done things by halves and he sure isn’t going to start now! AHAH! I just love him.

5. Esmenet has drunk the kool-aid. I guess it’s not surprising. How do you resist someone like Kellhus? How do you say no to power? To be something more than just a whore living in abject poverty. She’s strong and smart, but sadly, she had vulnerabilities that could be taken advantage of.

6. Congrats on your son, Serwe! Congrats to Kellhus for securing a butt ton of followers. And Esmenet/Serwe were an item? Aw man..wish that was presented more. Nice to see some Les Yay!

7. Sarcellus doesn’t know what a cuckold actually is! Then again, few people do. It’s simply someone who likes to watch their SOs have sex with someone else. Nothing more.


90% complete! Homestretch coming up!

1. Achamian? Why you no forgive Proyas? Why are you so mean? Then I remember what I’ve said about Proyas in the past and then I understood. Obviously, Proyas didn’t appreciate that and I can understand that. Yes, of course, Proyas the Judge still lives, but what was he judging there? That Achamian didn’t forgive him? Sorry, Proyas, but you’re not entitled to someone’s forgiveness. Honestly, it’s far too little and much too late(hoping not though) considering how nasty you have been to Achamian. He hasn’t forgotten that. Maybe Achamian should have said something like, “I can forgive, but I can’t forget.”

The huggy scene with Xinemus was so touching. :(

Proyas so emotional. I don’t blame him. At least he has Xinemus. As for you Achamian, ONE of those people do not belong in that shrinking circle of people you’re close to. You will learn this the hard way. I can see why Proyas was pained when Esmenet is asked about. He knows that she’s with Kellhus. He saw her in bed with him.

2. Yea, guys you better obey Esmenet like the word of God! She might be taken in by Kellhus, but she is STILL best girl! I actually made the same mistake she did! Whoops. I guess that’s what happens when you’ve basically punished for being a woman your whole life.

3. Kellhus dead? LOL! Yea, sure. Serwe, otoh, oh man. Yea, she’s dead. Sorry, Kellhus, even you can’t save your most faithful follower. Interesting way to crucify them. I wasn’t expecting that. I thought it would be more like Jesus, but I’ll take it.

4. So Celpheawjdapiwjdijwhatever was a skin spy. That explains a lot.

5. Sarcellus is still alive? Christ. Love the burn scene though. “What a way to show religious conviction! LIGHT YOURSELF ON FIRE!!1” Poor Martemus, but I wasn’t surprised that he died. I thought Conphas would do it though. Is it just me? Or is Conphas going a bit nuts? Does he seriously intend to keep the severed head? Jesus.

6. Cnaiur. :( Nah, he won’t kill himself.

7. I’m not surprised that it would mostly lower caste types who follow Kellhus most. They see him as a means to change/Revolution. Either that or they just want to be Farmer John. Whatever the case, people like them and Esmenet tend to be vulnerable and it’s not surprise that he would prey on such people first.

Also not much of a shock that he would be blamed for the horrible things that happened to the Holy War. They needed a scapegoat and the sad part is, those against him, are actually RIGHT, but for the wrong reasons. Kellhus called them out properly. They think that they would lose if he gains. Eh, zero sum shit.

8. Love how Proyas barged in on Kellhus. Love how he didn’t care that he cried IN FRONT OF CNAIUR of all people. I wouldn’t have dared. I love the fact that he wears his heart on his sleeve even though I know it can be a weakness. At this point, Proyas gives no fucks.

9. Moenghus must be potent as fuck if he’s a Dunyain Cishairum. I love those sneks. Must be cool.

10. The more I think about it, the more I find that Bakker is most likely NOT a misogynist, but rather someone who just plain isn’t very good at writing women. He does try to make it clear that there WERE women of power/influence in a brutal world, but he can’t seem to write them well. He does alright with Esmenet though. He had a chance with Serwe and a couple other women, but welp. :/ I just think it has to do with men being his writing “comfort zone” more than anything else.


The Warrior Prophet is now complete! WHOO HOO!! Went from triumph to WTF in about a page. Thanks for that, Mr. Bakker.

1. I don’t think Kellhus truly died. I think he was the sort who could make himself seem dead, but not. This was done in Silence of the Lambs. As for Serwe’s heart, sleight of hand while being cut down and the fact that he probably did have some innate Gnosis sorcery to be able to do that. Or, he somehow learned it on his own.

Still, this is one of those scenes that would have been a sight to behold on TV. Would have liked to see the other, “Great Names” react. Only Gotian was available. It’s not like Eli and Cnaiur would have knelt. We all know Conphas wouldn’t though. Not willingly.

2. About damned time we see Proyas kill someone. We ALL know that he is more than capable of it.

3. Nakkie Proyas is best Proyas. Hyuk Hyuk. ;) Love how he’s so damned shameless about it. I guess he has the goods, so why not flaunt them, right? Anyway, still great to see how him and Achamian still turn to each other. Still great to see how there is love, there is hate, they want to hug each other, they want to kill each other.

4. The issue is Kellhus isn’t so much “transgressing caste”(god forbid people want better lives, but I don’t think that’s what they’re talking about), but of fraud. I’m guessing that’s what they really mean. So, like England years ago, fraud is a hanging offense according to the Tusk. And Kellhus DID hang, at least for awhile. Too bad Serwe hung with him.

6. Poor Achamian. He gave the BEST SPEECH EVER and Conphas just HAD to shit on him. Conphas can go bathe in acid. As for poor Proyas, *huggies* “Akka…” :( But, things worked out for the best. That is, if you’re on Kellhus’s side. Well, whatever the case, the “resurrection” brought victory to the Holy War. And then there were a bit under 50,000. Shimeh is going to be fun, for sure, especially since the Famin Crown prince is said to be a bit, er, difficult.

7. Love how Sarcellus FINALLY died and it’s all because of Gotian. AHAHAHA! That, and a big fucking sword, courtesy of Cnaiur.

8. We’re going to find out what the “Thousand Fold Thought” is soon enough.

9. Give Xinemus some eye snakes. :D

As for faves…Proyas and Akka are tied. Esmenet is best girl. Kellhus? I have no strong feelings for him either way, tbh, but it’s clear that he is at best a well-intention extremist. Just not really for the Holy War. At worst? Yikes.

As for every one else? Eh. At least for now.

Cnaiur is in a class all his own. He is Guts level awesome. Slitting his own throat? DAYUM.

The Unholy Consult / Re: TUC Reviews
« on: November 24, 2017, 07:51:00 pm »

The Darkness That Comes Before / Re: My live reactions from Tumblr
« on: November 22, 2017, 02:10:50 pm »
You're welcome.

The Darkness That Comes Before / Re: My live reactions from Tumblr
« on: November 22, 2017, 01:51:35 pm »
I don't mind copy/pasting, but some of the posts are very long, so just linking would be easier. Not sure if it's necessarily better though. The advantage of copy/pasting is that I could detect grammar/spelling errors a lot easier. And it's a back up in case Tumblr ever goes belly up.

I honestly prefer to post reactions in individual subforums as I think it just makes sense. I've removed anything that could be a spoiler for future books.

And I both linked and post full text. Hope that works! :)

The Darkness That Comes Before / My live reactions from Tumblr
« on: November 22, 2017, 05:43:42 am »
These are basically a series of live reactions I wrote months ago when I started this series. Since these are "live", I make a lot of writing boo boos, but they should still be readable. I will admit that this is all how I see things and I do get clouded by "modern" sensibilities and seeing what I want to see. Enjoy!

The Prince of Nothing (1-10)
The one good thing about my hard drive finally dying is that I finally started reading The Prince of Nothing. Just a few pages in, but I started. Doesn’t pull punches, that’s for sure. (10-110)

Plowing through. Today, I went from page 10 to 110. It was difficult for me to put down.
Here are some of my thoughts.

1. I like Esmenet–a lot. She is a smart lady. Her tattoo is awesome.

2. I like “Akka” too.

3. Kellhus creeps me out, but he is interesting. I can see him being a bit irritating too as he makes it clear that he wants to possess EVERY ONE because he’s “conditioned”. Not like he’s the only one though because “birthright” and in this world, plenty of people want world domination. That poor hunter though. Posses him and then abandon him. Lovely, Kellhus, but it might have been necessary considering what happens next.

4. Please tell me that Inrau Priest boy was not killed. He did something awesome. Would be a shame to die right after that. :( If he did…FIGURES.

5. I like Proyas for some reason and is a favorite. Must be a reason for this, but I’m guessing it’s because he’s quite passionate.

6. LOL! Bird shit on the Emperor. Birds don’t care about your social rank! LOLOL!! And yea, that Palatine guy is a dumbass.

7. Crapsack world, but it is fascinating. Damned scary too, but R. Scott Bakker is quite good at comic relief. “Making mud”. Birdshit! LOLOL!

1. Dear God…the names. Some of them are hard to pronounce/spell. I can imagine actors trying to recite the names only to constantly flub. I understand why he did it as I know what Earwa is based on, but still…YIKES.

2. Welp. Looks like Inrau is indeed dead. FUUUCK. Sad trombone. Yea. Suicide my ass. Poor Akka has to deal with Proyas now(always being obvious) and he is a bit more,er, spirited. Also, a confidant of Mahinet/Mathinet(whatever)? Wonderful. But, there is something about Proyas though. Other than being remarkable.

3. Did I mention that I love Esmenet? What a bold woman. She just left a city she’s lived in all her life. She had good reason though. Too bad she’s treated like shit. A lot of the things against prostitution are based on ignorance and wanting someone to blame. That being said, she’s like an “Iron woobie” to me. The guy who “helped” her though. Lol, “help”. Pretty certain he was present when Inrau was killed.

4. Poor Vulgar Holy War. What’s sad is that the “vulgar” masses, especially the poor/desperate, are the ones most likely to get involved in Holy Wars in hopes of a better life. Or thinking they’ll get some kind of salvation or something. Many of them are uneducated(and most probably weren’t able/allowed to have one), disadvantaged, treated poorly, looked down on, etc. And for these people, a Holy War is an escape. A “savior” would
help them, or so they think. They are vulnerable people who tend to get taken advantage of and it isn’t all their fault. :(

5. So the Emperor was sexually abused by his mother. Yikes. Would explain a lot. As for him, he reminds me of the sort who isn’t stupid, but has bad judgement. Conphas is clearly a lot more brilliant and pragmatic. I do like how Bakker shows how people do things “from the shadows”.  I tend to like those who have power “from behind”. Not saying Conphas is quite like that(he wants to be Emperor, duh), but he likes doing it. What a brilliant character. I do adore him for some reason. I guess having a sense of humor helps.

The Empress Mother is too. She reminds me of Joan Crawford/Faye Dunaway.

6. Cnauir. Oi. What a nutter. Not that it’s all his fault given what happened to him, but WOW. I guess he likes to wear intestines. Jesus. Both him and Conphas do make me wonder if Bakker has ever read Berserk. I doubt it, but Canuir reminds me of a truly insane Guts and Conphas reminds me of Griffith. Love the visuals of Cnuair. Would make for some great illustrations. I feel for the “chattel” though and how they ended up paying the price for one dumb ass who no longer has “guts”.

7. Dumb law: Women forbidden to wear boots. I guess they’re jealous of the awesome kicky/spiked heeled boots women wear. Poor Esmenet was forced to wear socks with sandals! SOCKS WITH SANDALS!!!!!! I’m surprised she wasn’t stoned for that. ;) Those snake tats probably look pretty awesome.

I am close to half way through book one and will likely be done within a few days. Then, on to book 2!

He drove all night to REBUKE YOU! At least, that’s what Proyas would have done if they had cars back then. Jesus Christ. It takes around three hours to DRIVE 200 miles(probably would have taken him thirty minutes). Horseback? Probably about eight or longer. Anyone doing such a thing alone is a bit reckless, but it’s even more reckless as Crown Prince unless there are other heirs. As a KING, it would be beyond reckless, but I wouldn’t put it past him to do the same thing no matter his “rank.” DAYUM. He is a “full throttle” sort for sure. At least with Xin.

Oh, and the person he’s rebuking? Xin. Love at first read. He is AWESOME. No wonder Proyas likes him so much. Benjuku. Sounded like backgammon to me, but backgammon is in a box, not a bowl. Seems interesting though. I’m thinking Chinese checkers or
a different sort of chess.

Back to Proyas. He did WHAT now? He whipped someone for impiety(which is a bit dickheaded) but was then willing to take it in turn as punishment in front of his father and the court. That is a huge DAYUM. Cal, the dumbass who no longer has a head, thought it was a trick. Eh, I dunno.

Conphas might do something like that, but Proyas? I’m sure he’s smart, but he seems a little TOO honest for that. Still, it wouldn’t surprise me if it was a trick. Then again, Cal is derp and I do agree that he’s a “thief” or sorts. 100,000 people dead. Even by today’s standards, that’s quite a bit. No wonder Akka is so horrified. Yea, no doubt that Proyas would also be horrified. Hopefully, he’ll be a tactician to the Emperor rather than a judge. Surely, right? I’m guessing not. Will see. (322)

The Darknesss that comes before. At page 322. Lots of yammering.

1. Oh man…I had to stop at the “threesome” between Akka, Xin and Proyas. My god. I’m surprised Akka didn’t break down in tears. What a painful thing to read. But, intense. I tend to love those kind of scenes. Also love Proyas’s sarcastic humor. Reminds me of Adam Schiff in Law and Order. Speaking of reminders, Proyas’s reaction to the Consult reminded me of the clerics in Breath of Fire II. The heroes were trying to say that the “benevolent” God was actually a demon, but no one believed it. Honestly, it’s not surprising. Akka can’t prove anything. But, then Proyas turned Akka’s teachings around on him. And then saying that Xin is “the only reason why you have friends”. Doubles plus yikes.

Honestly, I’m still reeling over the Proyas’s intense fury/passion. God damn, I’m a sucker for these kinds of characters. Because I think that for all his fanaticism(which I LOATHE), he’s generally at least half-way decent at heart and not psychotic. He does, however, seem to have bad judgement at times given the way he acted to Conphas and I think the things he has to do to ensure the well being of his army will likely be used against him later. What’s sad is that he’s probably aware of this. What’s he supposed to do? Eat prayer mats? Lol.

It is totally true that a lot of people do have to make exchanges between morals and goals/survival, make compromises, etc. It’s not just those with a “high purpose” either. Still, such a thing can be painful for some people and it clearly is for someone like Proyas.

Oh, and I totally thought of the Shockmaster when Proyas was stumbling in his boat. And the “Sun Prince”? I think Louis XIV would like to have a word with him.

2. Yea, Cnauir. I can see why he is the way he is. Seems that violence is all he knows. At least he’s quite smart and good with strategy/land. He’s not a stick figure obviously. Still, he’d fit right in a Clockwork Orange with the ultraviolence.

He reminds me a great deal of Berserk’s Guts at his absolute worst.  Anyway,  Cnauir is quite a challenge for Kellhus, but it figures that he was eventually “won over”. That being said, it makes sense that Cnauir is pretty much a death seeker. He WANTS someone to kill him.

He is a tortured soul. Too bad it tends to bleed to every one around him. Once he gets to Mohengus, what then? Anyway, interesting that he threatens to kill Serwe for trying to leave and then wants to abandon her later. She’s not abandoned though. But, the shit she goes through. WOW.

3. Oh Kellhus. Right now, he’s obviously the good cop for Serwe. That poor girl. Right now, SHE is the WOOBIE. Looks like Kellhus is the one providing her blankets and cocoa. I find some of his views a bit offensive though. The world being “ignorant” is not entirely it’s fault. And being “children”? GAH.

Anyway, The Dunyain have always been isolated, so how can their ways spread? Looks like that’s what Kellhus is gunning for. He wants the world to be like his people. Like a world of Agent Smiths. Only, no desires, no passions, all reason, all intellect. ALL BORING. BOOOOOO!

4. There is no doubt that Proyas will encouter Kellhus and that is going to be fun.

5. Oh, the fake Sarcellus. What a scene. Creepy crow. Poor Esmenet. She has no idea. I’m pretty sure she’ll see Akka again though. And while I understand why she has the views she does, I personally believe that she is oversimplifying certain things(eh, every one does it) and that lions and humans are two different beings(derp). Like, when a lion kills, it’s because they’re hungry/defending themselves. When humans kill, it’s for a variety of reasons.

When people “take”, whether or not they steal is a question of who you ask and who is doing the “taking”. Just something that stood out to me. Beyond that, at least she’s treated relatively well now. At least for a short while.

I think that’ll do. I’m around 120 pages to the end. Quite frankly, I care about Proyas, Xin and Akka the most.

Did I mention that this book has a lot of quotables? When I get done with the first book, I’ll list the ones that stick out to me the most.

(I never did do the quotes thing. I should sometime this century). (Proyas, Proyas, Proyas. I was livid with him here).

93 pages to the end of Book 1.

Longest POST EVER. Well, right now it is.

1. Oh God. More pain. I spent over three hours thinking of the horseshit between Proyas and Akka. I even got teary-eyed for Akka. Right now, I’m hoping that Akka will find the courage to look Proyas dead in the eye and say this:

“There is no just god. If there was, Inrau would still be alive and you’d be dead.” And then just walk away. Like forever and leaving Proyas on his knees. Doubt that’ll happen.

Would be a dumb dumb move since there’s a treaty between House Nersei/Conriya and if that is broken, then Proyas could easily have the Holy War target the Mandate School and that would be VERY VERY bad.  I think he’ll end up stuck with Proyas for quite some time.
Akka’s issue is that he knows about the Consult and NO ONE believes him.

This is like Sarah O'Connor in T2. She knows what will happen in the future, but people think she’s nuts and she ends up locked away where she truly does go insane. Worse yet, he is hated by Proyas SOLELY because he is a sorcerer. Jelly much? Well, no. I mean, I know that the religion forbids magic, so I can see being against it, but to hate someone so intensely that you can’t even stay civil is just unreal.

Clearly, Proyas hates the fact that he needs a Schoolman for advice and hates it even more that it was a former beloved teacher, but it’s clear to me that he can’t seem to set aside personal feelings. What will make him a dangerous King is that he would govern too much with his heart. This is a good thing if you’re Ludwig Van Beethoven or some other kind of artist, but as a King? It can lead to a lot of self-defeating policies.

As for “quickly switching passions.” Honestly, my mother does that and so do I(to a lesser extent). I think at this point, Akka just has a very dim view of Proyas and I don’t blame him for that.

I know that there are fakes out there who “feel” for effect or people with shallow emotions, but I don’t think Proyas is that sort. Nor do I think he’s bipolar or personality disordered. He’s just someone who feels things strongly, which is both a great strength AND a great weakness. I also think that he is the sort who can(or can try) appear to be perfectly “okay” when he isn’t. This isn’t uncommon, especially in cultures where showing negative emotion is a bad thing(I don’t think he’s in that kind of culture though).

Yea, it can be deception, but sometimes it’s necessary to pretend to be happy/friendly when you’re not. Some people are just better at it than others and given how quickly he snapped at Cnauir, I don’t think he can fool that many people.

And really, what is he supposed to do in front of guests, especially someone like Cnauir? Stay angry? He HAS to appear friendly to them. He HAS to appear that everything is perfectly fine. He’s also only half-way right about counselors/advisers. Yes, they do give facts so the Prince can make better judgments/decisions, but they also give opinions AND JUDGMENTS of their own,  including dissenting ones. However, I am aware that dissenting opinions should be done in private and/or only in front of trusted people, but ideally in private. I know it, Akka knows it, and yellow dog knows it.

Speaking of judgement, guess what? EVERY ONE does it. Funny how Proyas is like, “don’t you dare judge me” and it sure doesn’t stop him from doing it. Typical of pretty much every one no matter their “caste”. But, god damn it is annoying.

I still love him though, but Akka deserves better. He deserves Kellhus. Honestly, I think Proyas is clearly very intelligent(another reason why I still adore him even though I want to set him on fire right now), but his judgement is poor fairly often and is easily provoked. He’s like a male Caitlyn Stark. Something like that. At least that’s how I see it.
Whatever the case, poor Xinemus is caught in the middle.

2. I am so over the “jnan” shit. And yes, Esmenet is clearly being isolated by Sarcellus. Poor slaves though. She’s no Danaerys, that’s for sure, but what is someone like Esmenet supposed to do? How can you resist being pampered even though there are slaves? Especially when the countries we know are pretty much slave states. Eh, it’s not like she’s treated that much better. :(

3.  I can’t think of anything else right now. All I can think of is the clear tension between Proyas and Akka. But, Kellhus has arrived and things will change from there. That is painfully obvious. Isn’t Kellhus an ACTUAL Prince though? Is his father also a Prince? Akka definitely had a strong reaction to the name as it did belong to kings of old.

I guess every one with the Anasurimbor name is a “Prince/Princess”. Just guess work right now. Still, it’s smart to make the claim. Hopefully, it’s a true one though and if it’s not, then I hope the lie is never exposed. I don’t think Proyas would take too kindly to fraudulent claims.

4. Yea, I can see why people have underestimated Cnuair. It’s easy to think people like him are dumb. And it’s easy to get killed by people like him too. That guy is such a trainwreck. I’m sure he’ll have a great time in the Holy War. (close to the end)

So close…so close…less than 40 pages to the end of book one and then I had to recharge the Nexus. This is where paper books have an advantage.

But, I will say that Cnaiur gave one of the best speeches on war—EVER. EVER. EVER. “War is intellect.” It sure is. And Proyas is a delight when he isn’t a meanie poo-poo head to Akka. And Kellhus nailed his personality. Then again, I called most of that ages ago and the other characteristics were sort of a “well, DUH, Kellhus.  The master of skepticism trained him.”

Loved seeing the Grandmaster of the Scarlet Spires. That was a hell of a meeting. 
LOL@the Emperor and his meanie Griffith clone Conphas.  Kellhus reminds me of Kwai Chang Kane from the old Kung Fu series. heh.  Proyas is passion. Kellhus is void of passion. They will make interesting foils if that ever happened. (DONE DONE DONE)

Phew…finished book one and just started book 2.

1. Dear God…the Consult. Skin Spies. Holy shit. At least Conphas saved Achamian. And why not? Achamian is the tits. And poor Conphas has to march in the Holy War. No doubt he STILL wants the Holy War for HIS own ends. You know he wants to be Emperor. Hell, FLEAS know that he wants to be Emperor himself.

2. Favorites? Proyas, except when he’s mean to Achamian. Achamian is a very close second.

3. I hope that I have the courage to ask R. Scott Bakker if he has ever read Berserk. So much of this reminds me of Berserk. Maybe it’s coincidence. Maybe it’s Maybeline. I don’t know.

5. Loved Proyas in that floral robe. I actually pictured him in something similar in the pavilion scene when Akka is finally able to see him. I frequently picture him in very nice clothes. I hope he makes it to the very end and looks/is fabulous doing so. I hope he ends up reconciling with Akka. I hope. Yea. Even though this is THE SECOND APOCALYPSE with hands coming out of faces. I know this isn’t an idealistic sort of story.

6. Poor Esmenet. She thinks Akka is over her, but he’s not. She has no idea what he just went through. Right now, Esmenet is best girl. Serwe is just “there”, to be honest. The Empress is pretty awesome though, but there’s not enough of her. I want her to find Akka again. Hopefully, he’ll find her before Proyas does. I don’t think he would approve of prostitutes.

7. Seems that Bakker doesn’t mind fanfiction. This is good to hear, but I won’t dare try. Not now. When it comes to “shipping”, the most obvious would be Akka/Esmenet and the other clear het pairings. When it comes to slash. Oh dear god, do I dare? Eh, might as well.
Welp, a Grand Wizard accused Achamian of “buggering” Proyas. Yea, right. We all know Proyas would be doing the “buggering”. The thing is, even if I DID to slash, no way would they be “fluffy”. Then again, NO pairing is healthy/stable/fluffy. Akka/Esmenet comes close though.

Anyway, I’ve thought of Proyas/Akka, Proyas/Xin, Conphas/Proyas, Conphas/Cnauir. In the case of Conphas, it clearly be in the obsessive/possessive sense. Proyas would be the tsundere sort with a touch of obsessiveness.

8. As for Kellhus. Here’s a hint: When someone is too good to be true, they usually are. Nice to see the Emperor catch what Kellhus caught. As I’ve said before, Xerius isn’t stupid. But, he got outplayed in the end. Will be interesting to see Conphas deal with the Holy Rollers, especially Proyas since they’re polar opposites. Just like Proyas is opposite of Kellhus. Conphas and Kellhus will be interesting too. No doubt Conphas is full of resentment. And I seriously doubt he will be won over by anyone.

Honestly, I don’t think Cnauir was truly won over either. Every one else, OTOH, is. At least for now.

The No-God / Re: TNG- Your expectations and wants
« on: November 18, 2017, 06:53:39 pm »
Oh yea, fair enough. I do remember the end of TTT. Just that, I can see why it was emphasized.

The No-God / Re: TNG- Your expectations and wants
« on: November 18, 2017, 06:08:26 pm »
Bakker shouldn't have italicized "fell to his knees" (too overt a call back for long-term readers, in my opinion).

I don't think that was a call-back, but rather Achamian willing to do whatever it takes to save Proyas. :(

Literature / Re: YOU MUST TELL ME ... What else are you reading?
« on: November 18, 2017, 02:35:53 am »
Any good or is it bullshit?

Well, I personally like it as it's very interesting, but I think it takes patience to read it.

Literature / Re: YOU MUST TELL ME ... What else are you reading?
« on: November 17, 2017, 11:38:15 pm »
Speaking of Malazan. I'm 82 % complete with Gardens of the Moon. Paran reminds me of Proyas, except the latter is more potent a character, imo.

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