Earwan Jokes

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Wilshire

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« Reply #15 on: April 07, 2016, 07:07:35 pm »
it seems that someone has listed Bakker quotes on an inspirational quotes site

http://likesuccess.com/author/r-scott-bakker
I'm not sure that qualifies as a joke, but I certainly applaud the efforts.
One of the other conditions of possibility.

Redeagl

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« Reply #16 on: May 06, 2016, 10:14:24 pm »
That moment when there is a mini dust storm and some dust enters your eye and you can't see anything for a minute
"Now I am going to be a Cishaurim "

That moment when you have to go to a place that is far and you have to go walking and you are very tired and the sun is hot...
"Shimeh is too far,father "
« Last Edit: May 10, 2016, 11:31:54 pm by Redeagl »
“The thoughts of all men arise from the darkness. If you are the movement of your soul, and the cause of that movement precedes you, then how could you ever call your thoughts your own? How could you be anything other than a slave to the darkness that comes before?”

- Chronicler of the Chroniclers

MrGanondorf

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« Reply #17 on: May 07, 2016, 04:44:23 pm »
Lol, I like it Redeagl!

MFW i haven't had my coffee and realize that i'm a soulless monstrosity of the tekne:

http://quintvc.deviantart.com/art/Bne-578006464

That moment when there is a mini dust storm and some dust enters your eye and you can't see anything for a minute
"Now I am going to be a Cishaurim "

That moment when you have to go to place that is far and you have to go walking and you are very tired and the sun is hot...
"Shimeh is too far,father "

Redeagl

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« Reply #18 on: January 26, 2017, 01:19:09 am »
I thought of a very bland joke, once there were two people one had huge fame,the other had huge Inri Sejenus. Don't curse me please.
« Last Edit: January 26, 2017, 01:51:00 am by Redeagl »
“The thoughts of all men arise from the darkness. If you are the movement of your soul, and the cause of that movement precedes you, then how could you ever call your thoughts your own? How could you be anything other than a slave to the darkness that comes before?”

- Chronicler of the Chroniclers

Francis Buck

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« Reply #19 on: January 26, 2017, 02:10:37 pm »
Why did the young student fail his final exam in the School of Mangaecca?


Because he couldn't properly argue his mathesis.

BeardFisher-King

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« Reply #20 on: April 04, 2017, 09:16:02 pm »
A man, a Nonman, and a Sranc walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kinda joke?"

Famous last words (said to a Nonman): "So, how's the wife?"

A cop on the beat happens upon a Nonman beating the holy crap out of some guy outside of a bar. The cop shouts, "Hey, what the hell you doing beating that guy up?" The Nonman stops, turns to the cop and says, "Sorry, officer. I'm just trying to remember where I parked my car."

Never invite a sorcerer to karaoke night. It never ends well.

"The heart of any other, because it has a will, would remain forever mysterious."

-from "Snow Falling On Cedars", by David Guterson

BeardFisher-King

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« Reply #21 on: April 04, 2017, 09:19:03 pm »
Boy, I'd love to see Simon Cowell try to tell Drusas Achamian that his singing was a little "pitchy"....
"The heart of any other, because it has a will, would remain forever mysterious."

-from "Snow Falling On Cedars", by David Guterson

BeardFisher-King

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« Reply #22 on: April 04, 2017, 09:29:29 pm »
Tell you what the Inchoroi should do, if the Tekne is so great: They should erect the biggest motherfucking electronic billboard (or hoarding, for you tiresome wankers across the pond) right between the horns of the Ark, and it should read "Coming Soon.....The No-God!" They could intercut it with Old Earth footage of the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes, then cut to ol' Count Floyd from SCTV going "Whoooo! Scary!"

The Nonmen won't know whether to shit or wind their watches.
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Yeah, I seem to be working up an Eärwan stand-up routine...
« Last Edit: April 05, 2017, 09:08:22 pm by Beardfisher King »
"The heart of any other, because it has a will, would remain forever mysterious."

-from "Snow Falling On Cedars", by David Guterson

Wilshire

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« Reply #23 on: April 04, 2017, 11:31:04 pm »
Lmao beardfisher, those are great.
One of the other conditions of possibility.

BeardFisher-King

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« Reply #24 on: April 05, 2017, 03:31:57 am »
Lmao beardfisher, those are great.

I'm just warming up. Wait til the "Psûkhe me!" tour comes to a comedy club near you. Or should I call it "The Even Greater Ordeal"?
"The heart of any other, because it has a will, would remain forever mysterious."

-from "Snow Falling On Cedars", by David Guterson

BeardFisher-King

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« Reply #25 on: April 05, 2017, 05:13:31 am »
This post        was moved to its own topic.

The Great Eärwan Stand-Up Comedy Routine
« Last Edit: April 26, 2017, 02:00:37 pm by Wilshire »
"The heart of any other, because it has a will, would remain forever mysterious."

-from "Snow Falling On Cedars", by David Guterson

BeardFisher-King

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« Reply #26 on: April 05, 2017, 01:01:52 pm »
More jokes:

"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
<long pause> "A Nonman"
"A Nonman who?"
<long pause> "Fuck if I know....."

Kellhus walks into a bar. The bartender looks up, sees the two Decapitants hanging from Kellhus' girdle, and says "Sweet Sejenus, what the fuck are those things?" Kellhus sits on a barstool and replies, "These are the heads of the two previous bartenders at this establishment. I drink for free. Any questions?"

"The heart of any other, because it has a will, would remain forever mysterious."

-from "Snow Falling On Cedars", by David Guterson

BeardFisher-King

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« Reply #27 on: April 07, 2017, 03:21:13 pm »
And....one mo 'gin:

Never, I mean never, play poker with a Dûnyain. You might as well toss your fucking wallet on the table and leave. (Actually,  I'm going to incorporate this gem into the stand-up routine above....)
« Last Edit: April 07, 2017, 06:45:58 pm by Beardfisher King »
"The heart of any other, because it has a will, would remain forever mysterious."

-from "Snow Falling On Cedars", by David Guterson

themerchant

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« Reply #28 on: April 07, 2017, 07:25:36 pm »
He can still know what you have and get a bad beat.

A tilting Dunyain might be funny.

BeardFisher-King

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« Reply #29 on: April 07, 2017, 08:14:54 pm »
He can still know what you have and get a bad beat.

A tilting Dunyain might be funny.
A Dûnyain on tilt......sounds like Koringhus! "Pick a card...any card....it does not matter which card."

It could be very funny: "Probability Trance.....oh, screw that! I'll see your hundo and raise you five!"
« Last Edit: April 07, 2017, 08:20:35 pm by Beardfisher King »
"The heart of any other, because it has a will, would remain forever mysterious."

-from "Snow Falling On Cedars", by David Guterson