The Collected Sayings of Cu'jara Cinmoi

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« on: May 07, 2013, 01:44:41 pm »
Quote from: bbaztek
if it's not too much trouble, would it be possible to compile all of bakker's 3seas posts into one thread? they're really informative

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« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2013, 01:44:48 pm »
Quote from: Madness
Lmao! I may take the time to do so, bbaztek... that would be a huge post. Or series of posts and would constitute a small sub-forum on its own (as Author Q&A once was ;)).

For now, I can certainly point you here[/b] :D. I'm sure it'll hold you for a time.

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« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2013, 01:44:55 pm »
Quote from: bbaztek
well damn son that's exactly what I was looking for. Thanks!

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« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2013, 01:45:03 pm »
Quote from: Madness
+1. aengelas did mention that for some reason the cumulative functions - such as grouping all of Cu'jara Cinmoi's posts by name - aren't working a 100%. So there may still be quotes missing from that list.

EDIT: Changed the thread topic to reflect the content - figured others would be interested in such a link.

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« Reply #4 on: May 07, 2013, 01:45:09 pm »
Quote from: lockesnow
I say change the thread title to "The Collected Sayings of Cu'jara Cinmoi"

Or better yet, maybe the Curated Sayings...

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« Reply #5 on: May 07, 2013, 01:45:16 pm »
Quote from: Madness
Perhaps, if I people actually begin curating them ;)... hope you don't mind the title changes, bbaztek.

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« Reply #6 on: May 07, 2013, 01:45:23 pm »
Quote from: lockesnow
sticky?

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« Reply #7 on: May 07, 2013, 01:45:30 pm »
Quote from: WillemB
This would be amazing if someone has the time.

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« Reply #8 on: May 07, 2013, 01:45:37 pm »
Quote from: Madness
I've been slowly collecting all the links from TPB - at like 600+ up till about June of last year (as that was my intention with the Forum of Interesting Things) - I'm already on the Aphorisms.

Seeing as all the Cu'jara Cinmoi posts on Zombie Three Seas remain uncompiled and there's the handy link in this thread, I'm not personally going to transcribe them all to Second Apocalypse - other than the ones I did, having mined those 800+ posts for the ones that bore on topical speculation.

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« Reply #9 on: May 07, 2013, 01:45:50 pm »
Quote from: lockesnow
Quote from: Cû'jara Cinmoi
Now to me you must confess, for death above you hovers!

;)

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« Reply #10 on: May 07, 2013, 01:49:25 pm »
Quote from: Triskele
Love the thread title.  Cheers.

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« Reply #11 on: May 07, 2013, 01:49:31 pm »
Quote from: Madness
+1 lockesnow.

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« Reply #12 on: May 07, 2013, 01:49:36 pm »
Quote from: Madness
Those Aphorisms or Definitions without dates are taken from the cited date following - If double dated then they've been taken from multiple sources.

EDIT: Curethan mentioned this might do more good up here:

Forgot to edit the original italics...

Also, if anyone notices a few aphorisms that might in fact be two stuck together, let me know.

Quote from: Cu'jara Cinmoi, Aphorisms & Definitions, 2010
Roll a stone onto your voice, and you live in your grave. You have forever to say nothing. June 6/10

Controvert the content, not the convention. June 7/10

The world is a supermax prison. If you see the light, it means the guards have foiled your attempt to escape. June 20/10

Leave metaphysics to the philosophers. Some things are so stupid you need highly trained specialists to make them sound smart. June 21/10

‘Shallow’ is a word shallow people use to think themselves deep. So repeat after me…

The best way to think deep is to make youself small. Profundity, like economy, all comes down to scale. June 24/10

It is better to entertain thoughts than to entertain people. It is better still, to entertain people entertaining thoughts. June 30/10

An author’s blog is like a peek up a transvestite’s skirt. Instead of something special, all you find is another dick. July 5/10

Five clever men equal twenty fools. Four for each. July 8/10

Writing is the most cowardly form of activism. Crucial, but cowardly all the same. Of all the kinds of murderers, the one most analogous to writers would be the poisoner. July 10/10

When you look at markets in terms of bargainers with disparate bargaining power, the right wing argument starts to sound like: The best way to ‘free’ the little fish is to take the muzzles off the sharks. July 12/10

The only thing worse than other people is the absence of other people. Somebody has to be judged.

Indiscriminate, peevish nastiness. There’s no better tonic for an immobile soul. July 14/10

Stupid is as Smart says it is. Aug 25/10

One man’s dog is another woman’s pig – I get that.  (Disciple Manning) Aug 26/10

Having a blog is like having a second dick: the more fun you have with it, the more people will think you’re a wanker. Sep 4/10

The best thing any asshole can do is to regularly change their underwear. Sep 8/10

Persuasion is the art of convincing people that you had simply duped them into disagreeing with you in the first place. Sep 10/10

Nine times out of eight, ‘open-minded’ is shorthand for saying, ‘I’ve already considered and rejected your point-of-view.’

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, go fuck yourself, you dirty bastard, I’m still voting Republican, because I mean, really, what could be more true than football cliches? Sep 12/10

A blog is what happens when hypocrisy gets knocked up by vanity, and decides to put the baby up on the Internet for adoption. Sep 13/10

The human inability to distinguish projection from discovery, fabrication from revelation: if God’s laughter had a sound, this would be it. Sep 14/10

Confusing critical for pompous is the refuge of the ignorant. Confusing critical for ignorant is the refuge of the pompous. All that distinguishes a pompous fool from an ignorant one, you see, is their favourite brand of confusion. Sep 20/10

The foolish speak from the stomach, the clever from the tongue, the wise from the rectum, for they alone know where their shit comes from. Sep 22/10

The best caveats are made of grease.

A blog is where opinions go fishing for affirmation and land embarrassment. Sep 23/10

A blog is a kind 0f linguistic crotch shot: no matter how you shave your message, only the perves are going to get it. Sep 24/10

Only fools burn anymore, which is why so many literary bellies are filled with fill–dirt shovelled from better graves. Oct 2/10

Writers kill their characters the way alcoholics beat their children: it’s their way of spreading the blame. Oct 8/10

The Great Riddle of middle-age is deciding whether you’re becoming wierd, or simply discovering wierdnesses that have been there all along. Nov 10/10

Election: A process whereby many people congregate to commit one mistake.

Deficit Reduction: The redistribution of resources away from the poor, thereby improving their opportunity to secure minimum wage labour. The first step requires the slashing of revenues. The second step requires the verbal poo-pooing of expenditures. The third (optional) step, requires the expansion and/or prolongation of foreign wars. All three of these steps can be avoided if one simply blames the Chinese.

Hyperinflation: The consequence of obese men farting into the mouth of condoms.

American Dream: An aspiration most often realized in Scandinavia. Nov 17/10

Willpower: the much-envied ability to claim responsibility for nearby accidents, usually of the happy variety. Nov 26/10

Honesty. (1) Something to be fondly avoided in serious conversations. (2) One of two options people resort to only when their imaginations fail them and the silence becomes unbearable. The other is pretending to be distracted by something on TV.

Philosophy. (1) A kind of semantic manure, either heaped upon beautiful flowers until they die, or spread liberally across ideological weeds. (2) A rash developed by certain thoughts of weak constitution, insuring they will be incessantly scratched.

Conservatism. (1) The urge to hold one’s testicles while asleep. (Not to be confused with Fascism, the urge to seize the testicles of others). (2) The tendency to confuse good luck for hard work, and beneficiaries for benefactors. (3) The ability of language to defeat reason.

Liberalism. (1) The tendency to sleep without underwear. (2) The ability of reason to fuck everything up.

Socialism. The reason Scandinavians are healthier, wealthier, and better in bed. See, Truth. Related terms, Boredom, American Literacy–the Decline of. Nov 30/10

Labour: 1) the renting of one’s metabolic activity for the pleasure of another; 2) the single most important constituent of society, and therefore the most despised; 3) something the poor are lucky to give, and the wealthy are entitled to receive.  Dec 1/10

Moral outrage. 1) A pain in the shoulder generally brought upon by reaching for one’s wallet. 2) A commercially popular way to treat the symptoms of ignorance and confusion. Dec 2/10

The only difference between the ass-kicking talk of youth and the ass-kissing talk of middle-age is a man’s tax bracket. Dec 3/10

Only when you pause to listen–really listen–to someone else speaking, can you discover how irritating you yourself are. Dec 7/10

Literature: a form of fiction primarily concerned with the further inflation of already highly-pressurized egos. Once a social scourge responsible for innumerable cases of eczema and dandruff (and a fair amount of untoward head-scratching), it has now become a popular means of concealing public acts of masturbation. Sales of literary mass-market paperbacks have declined accordingly. Dec 15/10

Literature: the genre that dare not speak its name. Dec 16/10

‘Radical’ is not a name anyone can give themselves. Dec 17/10

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« Reply #13 on: May 07, 2013, 01:49:46 pm »
Quote from: Madness
Quote from: Cu'jara Cinmoi, Aphorisms & Definitions, 2011
New Year’s resolution: 1) an annual ritual where optimistic souls remind themselves why they have no bloody reason to be so optimistic; 2) a type of gnat that pesters fat asses without ever damaging them. Jan 4/11

Pretentiousness: If you are smart, the knack for making other people feel stupid. If you are stupid, the knack for making yourself feel smart. Jan 5/11

Literature is the cage where writers rattle empty cages. Jan 9/11

The mild feelings that accompany your presumption have no bearing on the mildness of your presumptions. Even Nazis wonder about all the fuss.

If a word offends thee, pluck it, sure. If a word really offends thee, say it over and over again, until its nonsense is revealed. So, repeat after me: deconstruction, deconstruction, deconstruction, deconstruction… Jan 11/11

Facebook: a clever distraction for the masses designed to secure the invisibility of the poor, the anti-social, and the technologically retarded. Jan 13/11

A pet theory is a lot like a pet cat, except that it never dies, always purrs, and craps all over your imagination instead of in the conceptual litter box. Jan 18/11

Perception is simply introspection with strategic agnosia.

What does the brain look like when viewed from within? The world. Jan 21/11

The mind is simply the dim shadow of what the brain sees peering through the glutinous fog of itself. Jan 22/11

There’s a time to ponder and there’s a time to communicate. So long as we don’t ask the what of the first, and the who of the second, we can pretend that art is the sum of their confusion. Jan 24/11

Beware those who prize absurdity over drama: they are the enlightened dead. Jan 27/11

Hockey before revolution: there’s too many goaltenders in the world. Feb 2/11

Blog: something you drop in the can every morning, only with a ‘b’ in front of it. Feb 3/11

Middle age is the point at which you realize that distance is simply a trick of forced perspective. Feb 7/11

Venture Capitalist: Someone who leases power to command invention and intellect. Feb 9/11

The pace of old age is best measured in the capacity to be numb. Feb 11/11

Hope: Something that happens to facts when the world refuses to agree. Feb 12/11

Bureaucracy: a complex organization of humans (often attributed to governments, but actually perfected by corporations) meant to maximize innocence and to minimize accountability in order to better generate irrational outcomes.  Feb 17/11

The only thing certain about morality is that you have more of it. Feb 23/11

The only certain thing about intelligence is that you have less of it than you think, and more of it than I credit you for. Feb 24/11

Nothing is more dubious than certainty. Feb 27/11

Nostalgia is what happens when we remember the ‘happens’ minus the ‘shit.’ Mar 1/11

Logic: something only you possess in full, and lacking in others the degree to which they disagree with you. See, Force, the. Mar 2/11

Focus does not so much illuminate the foreground as suppress the background. Clarification requires obfuscation. Mar 4/11

Critical thinking: the intellectual version of Christian humility. The ability to simultaneously believe you are open-minded and pretty much right about everything you already believe. Mar 28/11

To assume knowledge is to avoid it. Mar 29/11

A fatalist is just a cynic with humility. Apr 5/11

Success is something everyone but you gets to decide. Apr 12/11

Markets: the form of bureaucracy that most efficiently serves the rich. Apr 14/11

Novelist: a creature that lives in a deep, narcissistic hole.  Apr 28/11

After thirty years of middle-class stagnation, the forces of fiscal conservatism have proven that if you strangle people slowly enough they’ll think you’re giving them a hug. May 4/11

Justice is the triumph of truth over inevitability. June 1/11

Experiment: A bullshit guess that we fear others might remember. June 8/11

Art is slow to clean out its ears. Most of the time, you’re better off talking to rocks. At least they don’t pretend to listen.

Paint only dries when you’re not watching. June 9/11

Hemorrhoids: A pain occurring in your head that you ironically attribute to your ass. June 12/11

Philosophy is a swamp where no boots get wet, and everyone thinks they’ve found the one yellow-brick road. June 13/11

Aspiration is what makes the world spin in greedy circles. June 15/11

Leaf Fan: a convenient way for the rest of the world to feel better about themselves (as in, “It could be worse, you could be a Leaf Fan,” or, “You may have lost the Cup, but at least you’re not a Leaf Fan,” or, “Your penis fell off, rolled through spilled acid and broken glass before dropping into a storm sewer, but at least…” You get the picture). June 16/11

The fantasy fiction of the 22nd century will be living in a human body with a human brain. June 25/11

Holding a fool accountable is like blaming your last cigarette for giving you cancer. Behind every idiot stands a village. June 27/11

Human: A biological system connecting the dinner plate to the shitter.

Writer: A biological system convinced that it does more than simply connect the dinner plate to the shitter. See, Flatulance. June 29/11

Philosophers are beetles as much as the rest of us, aimless and slow-moving, seeing only what’s immediately before them. All that differs is the abstraction and relevance of the pattern on the floor. July 4/11

Never forget that the boot on your neck is either there for your own good, a figment of your imagination, what nature intended, or an unfortunate accident of history, whichever you happen to find the most convincing in a moment of weakness. July 14/11

Think of how you roll your eyes whenever someone utters the words, “If I were you, I would…” Everything’s easy for the observer – and for the reader, easier still. This is what makes hard choices in hard circumstances the most difficult thing to convincingly portray in fiction. July 18/11

No man is a biosphere. July 25/11

The problem with being a Bible salesman is that everyone thinks they already have one.

Theory is the precise observation of the invisible, as opposed to fantasy, the dramatic description of the impossible. July 28/11

Geek: someone who greases their imagination to avoid the clutches of cool. Aug 2/11

All authors feel sorry for the characters in their novels, which is what makes self-pity inevitable when they begin blogging. Aug 8/11

A snob is someone who looks down on his own reflection – and takes a long piss. Aug 10/11

The Second Law of Cranks states that for every crank, there exists an opposite crank - an ‘anti-crank.’ Unfortunately, rather than annihilating each other on contact, they have the effect of splitting the universe in two. (The First Law of Cranks (for those of you unfamiliar with epistemological physics) states that for every Opinion, no matter how preposterous, there is at least one crank who will call it Gospel). Aug 16/11

Les is mor. Aug 17/11

The louder a person points, the more they become the show. Aug 19/11

We gaze at our navel because its closer and easier to shave than our asshole. Aug 20/11

Ask the right question and a fool will build his own gallows. Answers for wood. Presumption for rope. Aug 23/11

As soon as etiquette, any etiquette, is professionalized, then the quirks that illuminate and individuate are all but doomed. No yardstick is more unforgiving than a well-meaning one. No condescension is more unyielding than kindness. Aug 28/11

What begins with information always ends with matter. Who would have thought that stealing ghosts could ruin lives?  Sep 1/11

Literary criticism: 1) A kind of thong worn by the intellectually obese; and 2) The morbid compulsion to floss dentures. See, Exhibitionism, Sublimated Versions of. Sep 8/11

Stupid is as stupid buzz. Sep 19/11

Questions make ignorance visible, ignorance makes hypocrisy viable, and hypocrisy makes self-interest divine. All authority requires the conservation of ignorance, especially when it pretends to educate. Sep 27/11

Ask and ye shall be misinterpreted. Sep 29/11

The important thing isn’t to arrive first, but to arrive big.

Imagination becomes a curse precisely when it begins catering to ambition. The world starves what hope enslaves. Oct 3/11

Particular people are narrow people precisely because they always know what they like. Accidents, guesses gone wrong, uneaten entrees: these are what make us whole.

There’s no better punchline than missing the punchline–unless you happen to be the punchline. Oct 14/11

Middle-age is that peaceful epoch between having boners and committing them. Oct 21/11

One man’s fantasy is another man’s self. Oct 29/11

Consciousness is the gear that confuses itself for the whole machine. Thus are two thousand five hundred years of philosophical megalomania explained.  Oct 30/11

Consciousness is the gear that confuses itself for the whole machine. Thus God wipes out trailer parks with tornados. Nov 3/11

Of all the sad things in the world, none possess the poignant absurdity of self-described radicals defending the status quo. Like squeezing lemons over a razor cut: it’s just too stupid to be really painful. Nov 4/11

If words were feathers then scientists would be falcons, preachers would be vultures, writers would be peacocks, and philosophers would be turkeys. Nov 7/11

There are two ways to think the Riddle of Consciousness: What do you have to add to a roundworm to get a human? and What do you have to subtract from God to get Jesus? The first will get you to consciousness, but only if you use the second to solve the riddle.  Nov 16/11

Clog a sewer pipe and shit will become your priority. Civilization is infrastructure, the luxury of turning the human to-do list upside down. Nov 18/11

All we have is surprise and the question. Only these make the infinite plain because only these make ignorance visible.

Earwa, like Biblical Israel, smells of balls. Nov 25/11

“What the fuck just happened? is the true question of all philosophy. Nov 30/11

It’s the hurt that always sorts truth from bullshit. This is why we always prick our inner ear when listening to survivors. Dec 8/11

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« Reply #14 on: May 07, 2013, 01:49:54 pm »
Quote from: Madness
Quote from: Cu'jara Cinmoi, Aphorisms & Definitions, 2012
The only thing new about the year is how bloody old you’re getting. Jan 2/12

Suicide is the one thing that anyone can do that everyone will take seriously. This is why, as lonely as it is, self-destruction is so profoundly social. Jan 9/12

The inside, at its most devious, will swear up and down that it’s been locked out. Jan 15/12

Critical Thinking: 1) the transformation of intellectual sophistication into absolute moral superiority; 2) a way to make verbal radicals out of functional conservatives; 3) an archaic process for making goat cheese. Jan 26/12

Think or thwim. Jan 30/12

Never forget the ‘more’ in moral, because it will never forget you. Feb 1/12

Troll: 1) Someone who thinks indiscriminately pissing on legs is more an accomplishment and than an embarrassment; 2) A folkloric creature notorious for blocking bridges and blaming its farts on others.  Feb 6/12

Otto’s Law:  Thou shalt not cite Internet Laws, for they have as much logical force as laughing at an immigrant’s clothing.  Feb 8/12

Moral certainty is simply greed dressed as poverty. Feb 10/12

It’s not that sexists are more stupid, only that they aim their stupidity in a less intelligent direction.

Feminists are primates too.  Feb 20/12

A question is friendly or insulting in direct proportion to the ignorance it reveals… Or is it?

Attitude: 1) the only thing cheaper than belief; 2) a popular brand of fact repellant; 3) something you need to lose a lot of to fly under other’s radar, but to keep a little bit of to avoid crashing. Feb 24/12

When arguing, I always try to meet people in the middle, knowing that there, at least, I will be left alone.

Chase wonder through the mill of reason, and you find philosophy. Chase wonder through the mill of desire, and you find fantasy. Since desire always has its reasons, and since reason is never free of desire, there’s no having the one without somehow committing the other. Feb 28/12

When the Real goes mad, sanity can only cling to delusion. Mar 6/12

The first thing to go when you turn your back on philosophy is your Ancient Greek. The next is your formal logic. Then you lose your ability to masturbate in good conscience, which tends to dwindle in direct proportion to your ability to read German. Mar 9/12

Awareness always has its face mashed against the window of the world simply because that’s where Death prefers to hide. Meditation is just another way to bury our head in the sand inside our head.

Consciousness is a child encircled by magicians, never knowing whether to be terrified or amazed.

Theory is the cognitive slinky when compressed, and narrative is the cognitive slinky when extended, going ker-chuck, ker-chuck down the stairs.

Fuck off with the aphorisms already! Mar 14/12

The singularity is a dirty, naked old man whipping wide his raincoat and revealing the absence of genitals. Mar 20/12

Reason is the distance between any two idiocies, as ascertained by either of those idiocies. Apr 12/12

Not even God can argue with a shrug, which is why he created the universe to resemble one. Apr 20/12

Being the enemy of your enemy doesn’t make you your friend. Apr 23/12

The bigger hatred makes you feel, the smaller you are. Apr 25/12

Apology is the most common way to weaponize humility—short of flattery and prayer.

I hate patterns. Almost as much as I love habits. May 1/12

If we don’t move, it’s because we remain motionless relative to ourselves. May 10/12

The taller the tale, the shorter the teller. May 16/12

Without madness, sanity would be a whole lot more interesting. May 18/12

Fictions. I’m fine with that. Really, our only point of difference is our estimation of the threat. Since conscious experience accesses no information about its neurofunctional role, it always seems the only game in town. Our experience of something as robust as logical reasoning could find itself anywhere in the neural digestive tract and it would still feel like the mouth, like it comes first. This could be our version of the Ptolemaic perspectival trap. Consciousness has so little access to the ways its conditioned, it has to seem like the centre of a universe. The False Unconditioned. June 20/12

Actually reading stuff is, like, hard and, like, so twentieth-century. June 28/12

Wisdom lies in the interval between knowing thyself and promoting thyself, which explains why its generally so cramped and cranky. June 29/12

Insight: what happens when a new blindness makes our old blindness its bitch. July 4/12

I don’t make unwise decisions. They make me. July 15/12

In every human ear you will find a little bone that translates, ‘We are nothing special,’ into ‘You fucking loser.’ Thus the will to affirm everything, or at the very least, maintain polite silence. Nothing like an angry loser to ruin your day. July 26/12

So much of the social alchemy of give and take lies in the difference between feeling what you feel and caring what you feel. Wincing and laughing is something we all too easily do. Aug 8/12

Are you giving me a ‘just so’ story here? Saying that introspection, despite all the structural and developmental constraints it faces, gets exactly the information it needs to cognize consciousness as it is? Even without the growing mountain of contrary empirical data, this strikes me as implausible. Or are you giving me a ‘just enough’ story? Saying that introspection gets enough information it needs to cognize what consciousness is more or less. I have a not enough story, and an extreme one. I think we are all but blind, that introspection is nothing but a keyhole glimpse that only seems as wide as the sky because it lacks any information regarding the lock and door. I’m saying that we attribute subjectivity to ourselves as well as to others, not because we actually have subjectivity, but because it’s the best we can manage given the fragmentary information we got. Aug 9/12

Any day that references TJ Hooker is a good day. Aug 16/12

Consciousness is something hooked across the top of your nose, like glasses, only as thick as the cosmos.

Give me an arm long enough, and I will reach across the universe and punch myself in the back of the head. Not because I deserve it, but because I can take it. Aug 23/12

Why me? is as honest a question as it is useless, given that no one deserves anything, least of all what they get. Aug 27/12

Am I a man pinned for display, dreaming I am a butterfly pinned for display, or am I a butterfly pinned for display, dreaming that I am a man pinned for display? Am I the dream, the display… the pins? Sep 4/12

The absence of light is either the presence of dark–or death. For every decision made, death is the option not taken.
Things we see through: eyes, windows, words, images, thoughts, lies, lingerie, and excuses. Sep 11/12

The purest thing anyone can say about anything is that consciousness is noisy. Sep 14/12

Consciousness is a little animal in our heads, curled up and snoozing, at times peering into the neural murk, otherwise dreaming what we call waking life.

People are almost entirely incapable of distinguishing the quality of what is said from the number and status of the ears listening. All the new can do is keep whispering, hoping against hope that something might be heard between the booming repetitions. Sep 19/12

If you think of knowledge in fractal terms, you can see yourself as a wane reflection in the bottom of a rain drop as fat as the cosmos. Or is that just me pissing on your leg? Sep 21/12

Every tyrannical system, to conserve itself as a system, will scapegoat even its king. So does drama masquerade as change. Oct 12/12

The inability to distinguish ‘political’ from ‘nice’ has saved more lives than penicillin and taken at least as many as speeding. Oct 15/12

The mere fact of cartoons shouts the environmental orientation of our cognitive heuristics. A handful of lines is all the brain needs to create a world. South Park, of all things, likely means we have no idea what we’re talking about when we purport to explain ‘consciousness.’ Oct 22/12

Here, it turns out, is so bloody small that even experience finds itself evicted and housed over there. Oct 25/12

Arguing the future in ignorance of the present is simply creationism turned upside down.  Instead of claiming we come from a God stamped in our image, you claim we will become a God stamped in our image. Oct 29/12

If the eye is every bit as cracked as the mirror, then cracked reflects true, and true looks cracked.

My larva hurts.

Phenomenology: A common, hysterical variant of Anton’s Syndrome; a form of philosophical anosognosia (secondary to reading Husserl and other forms of blunt-force trauma to the frontal cortex), involving blind subjects endlessly arguing things they cannot see they cannot see. Oct 31/12

This statement has less than a 150 characters. Unlike my books. Nov 10/12

God is myopia, personality mapped across the illusion of the a priori. Nov 10/12

The philosophy of mind possesses only one honest position: perplexity… or possibly, ’hands-against-the-wall.’ Nov 13/12

A blog knows no greater enemy than Call of Duty. A blogger, no greater friend. Nov 20/12

Knowing that you know that I know that you know, we should perhaps, you know, spark a doob and like, call the whole thing off. Nov 23/12

In the graphic novel of life, Truth denotes those panels bigger than the page. Nov 30/12

Introspection: A popular method of inserting mental heads up neural asses. Dec 4/12

To be oblivious is to be heroic for so long as your luck holds. Dec 6/12

Philosophy: 1) A form of ethereal waste known to clog the head. See, Pornography, Conceptual Forms of. Dec 14/12

Philosophy: A kind of illness incubated in ego, transmitted by ink, and cured by pornography. Dec 17/12

Whenever I think about the right to bear arms I thank God the Americans didn't drive the British out with body odour. The 'right to stink.' Dec 18/12

Up: The direction the arrow points when they hang you upside-down. Dec 19/12

Moral Progress: Tripping backward into a room filled with people too busy playing with toys to steal your toys. Dec 21/12

Mayan Apocalypse: The latest in a long series of ruses designed to sort the tourists from those who actually live on the earth. Dec 21/12

Economic Progress: Tripping backward into a room filled with toys. Dec 21/12

Progress: Tripping backwards in someone else's direction. Dec 21/12

Moral Progress: Tripping backward into a room filled with people too busy playing with toys to steal your toys. Dec 21/12

Mayan Apocalypse: The latest in a long series of ruses designed to sort the tourists from those who actually live on the earth. Dec 21/12

Economic Progress: Tripping backward into a room filled with toys. Dec 21/12

Progress: Tripping backwards in someone else's direction. Dec 21/12

Religious Progress: Tripping backward onto your ass, then climbing to your knees. Dec 23/12

Spiritual Progress: Tripping... Dec 23/12

Political Progress: Tripping backward while shouting, "Forward!" Dec 24/12

Christmas: A much-revered, annual celebration of the evils of pragmatism. Dec 25/12

New Year: Bachannal where people worldwide congratulate each other not so much for rewinding the clock as for hitting snooze on another year Dec 27/12

Atheist or believer, we all get judged by God. The one that made us, or the one we make. Dec 21/12

Birth is the only surrender to fate possible. Dec 31/12

New Year: Like a new car, only without the wonderful smell. Dec 31/12