Fan Fic Piece

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Madness

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« Reply #30 on: November 26, 2013, 05:27:34 pm »
Thanks, Wilshire. I didn't necessarily think that Bakker doesn't get internal updates on the blog (though he hasn't been blogging much lately and he doesn't his aphorisms from his Twitter and it just links to the blog and Facebook, I believe) and that it would be this long before a page went up. No matter.
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Madness

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« Reply #31 on: January 10, 2014, 07:48:38 pm »
Here's the link to my final draft of A Tale of Swayal. I'll link the page when Bakker puts it up this weekend (or shortly thereafter, as he's expecting the revised version).

Thanks very much to Curethan for all his criticisms and editing (even a couple complete sentences offered as suggestions, which stayed in the final blog version ;)). Most of the updated version reflects my reigning in my speculative assumptions and really trying to focus on the strength of the overall theme of the piece. I think it is much stronger now thanks to Curethan's input.

Obviously, thanks to anyone who takes the time to read.
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Madness

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« Reply #32 on: January 12, 2014, 10:28:46 pm »
A Tale of Swayal

Final version and its own snazzy page. Thanks again to Curethan, who made this final version satisfyingly stronger, and to delavagus who took it upon himself to post my story and handle all the pesky formatting issues in my word document (as there were a bunch of html tags), including his own little section and epigraph touches (formatting only).

Cheers.

EDIT: My mind is already slowing working on the third (and last good fanfic idea I've had). Hopefully, it'll make a neat trifecta.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2014, 10:31:04 pm by Madness »
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reichorn

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« Reply #33 on: January 13, 2014, 03:08:50 am »
I've not read any of the FanFic, but I'll try to read this at some point soon and send you some feedback.  What kind of feedback would you like?  Are you an aspiring author?  Or just having some fun?

Madness

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« Reply #34 on: January 13, 2014, 10:59:16 am »
:o

What kind of feedback would you like?  Are you an aspiring author?

It would be an immensely pleasing moment to have you critique me on craft. The only caveat I could offer about my fanfic is that either piece is in many ways better than something I can personally write at this moment in time; I find imitation much easier.

Criticisms.
I'll try and be harsh.  But it's for your own good! ;)

That was how Curethan started and the following criticism was very fruitful.

But, seriously, life is learning to me. You helped shape Bakker's voice and it would basically be an honour to have you shape mine as well, even a little :).
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Wilshire

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« Reply #35 on: January 23, 2014, 12:42:37 am »
A Tale of Swayal

Final version and its own snazzy page. Thanks again to Curethan, who made this final version satisfyingly stronger, and to delavagus who took it upon himself to post my story and handle all the pesky formatting issues in my word document (as there were a bunch of html tags), including his own little section and epigraph touches (formatting only).

Cheers.

EDIT: My mind is already slowing working on the third (and last good fanfic idea I've had). Hopefully, it'll make a neat trifecta.

Read it. Loved it.

I don't much like writing critisisms to works like this, but I will say that this seemed to fit the overall feel of TSA. I really hope Bakker developes the Witches more in TUC or in TSTSNBN
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Madness

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« Reply #36 on: January 23, 2014, 03:32:28 pm »
Sweet. Thanks much, Wilshire.

It's just nice that it's not only enjoyable to read but that others can share in my enjoyment. And since A Tale of Swayal was specifically in response to the Bakker and Women Returns thread that I participated in at Westeros, I'm glad it turned out as strongly as it did.

I only wish I could get some indication of whether this counts as "feminist-friendly" and if by extension, I've made some little justifications as to why the world of Bakker's TAE is realistic insofar as "gender has been advanced (or not)."

Also, I think I have a title for my first one, which is "Untitled" on TPB: A Knight's Tale :).
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Somnambulist

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« Reply #37 on: January 24, 2014, 06:28:01 am »
Nice work, Madness.  I enjoyed the tale, as well.  Cheers for sharing!
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Madness

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« Reply #38 on: January 24, 2014, 01:14:04 pm »
Thanks much, Somnambulist ;D.

My offering of Art, since I can't yet draw with any sort of skill, though I continue to practice for my left hand. I think I need to find me some instruction.
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MrGanondorf

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« Reply #39 on: February 11, 2014, 11:44:39 pm »
I loved Untitled!  You channeled Bakker wonderfully!  Love the back and forth seswatha and present.  This is not a small matter for me, you nailed all the names of things and people.  That's one of the reasons I like Bakker's stuff, his names have fantasy resonance and you did it awesomely as well.  I don't think I could ever do that.  There I am trying to write fanfic like you and I'm stuck because all I can think of for my Mandati is Bluurglyp, Shsmoortvlunt, or Traalwoofdinklabloi.  Seriously, that's great what you did. 

My only complaint is: IT'S NOT LONG ENOUGH!!!  Would love to have read more. 

Oooohhhh, could you have Aurang show up and he talks with the skinspy and you reveal that it's one of the same skinspies that will later be Sarcellus?  Could you have a guy hanging around in the backdrop as a possible spy for the dunyain?  I guess Aurang synthese can't be there though, cause of the anarcanity.  Somehow I imagined that the mandati in atrithau might be pale--like it's so hard to traverse the distance from mandate hq to atrithau, that really the mission is it's own little school?  But that wouldn't be right, they have no mumified turd-heart to grasp.   :( 

So, I guess I wouldn't change anything except maybe make it longer--have the POV follow the skinspies around as they murder the mandati 1,2,3.  One schoolman battling right at the border of anarcane ground, one battling back at the lonely tower against skinspies with chorae.  Bashrag and sranc are there too, but that's unsurprising because that's what happens every saturday night.  Maybe the skinspy rips out the mandati's heart and has an eye in it and he eats it but dies choking.  More memory stuff about Seswatha's betrayal! 

Oooohhh, have a part where one of the mandati think they are close to uncovering an ancient secret--then they get way way way down in an old hole and they find...THE HERON SPEAR!  Lol, their guide is a skin spy and has lured them into a den of skin spies.  Schoolman does what any terrified sorcerer without magic would do, turns the heron spear on his enemies.  Lol, it's a fake.  They are all murdered and eaten but in reverse order.  Dying schoolman get a cool, sort of redeeming super secret mysterious memory from Seswatha as they die.  Or maybe Seswatha blocks out the suffering by running reels of hot sex which is weird because they are literally getting sex just then but its the bad kind.  Skinspies open a deli the next day, serve mandati as 'ham' to Atrithauians, each other. 

I liked your story a lot--all that rambliness is a measure of how much!  You got my Earwa brain going!  Looking forward to reading your other ones too!

EDIT: breaking up the text

Crtha

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« Reply #40 on: February 12, 2014, 05:59:01 am »
Holy shit, wall of text right in the frontal lobe! 

Put in some spacing for the sake of all that is unholy ganondorf.
Retracing his bloody footprints, the Wizard limped on.

Wilshire

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« Reply #41 on: February 12, 2014, 01:39:12 pm »
Holy shit, wall of text right in the frontal lobe! 

Put in some spacing for the sake of all that is unholy ganondorf.
Yes, please :)
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Madness

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« Reply #42 on: February 13, 2014, 12:31:41 pm »
Lol mrganondorf. Thanks very much.

If you enjoyed that, I do have another there called A Tale of Swayali. But Untitled was written for me, ATOS was written more with a particular response in mind to the Bakker and Women threads on Westeros. So it's less fun, I think.
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MrGanondorf

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« Reply #44 on: April 02, 2014, 10:56:42 am »
Just read A Tale of Swayal!  Awesome!  Love, love, love the gathering of witches and the tension between following the old way vs Kellhus--had not really thought of it myself.  This seems like a slice of life from every witches heart--they would all have to decide if they were zaudunyani or not. 

Loved seeing old Nautzera!  He's a great school marm!  This IS the fitting end to the old mandati.  This would be a great place to do a bunch of stories, a way to squeeze some harry potter feels into the bakker-verse--Nautzera fooled by glamors--his class seems to be studying when really there all down at the lake or all the girls come to class in big beards.

If you ever go back to witches, it might be cool to see a story of a confrontation between a swayal witch and one who refused to answer the summons.