The Second Apocalypse
Earwa => The Great Ordeal => The Aspect-Emperor => TGO ARC Discussion => Topic started by: Madness on June 08, 2016, 04:19:42 pm
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Because fuck yes!
Mid-wifery engage.
Bakker and I have been talking back and forth and, though MG has already confirmed with his Overlook contact that they'll look at the seasonal discrepancies that HP and others have pointed out, Bakker was wondering if we'd compile a list of errors/corrections to go along with his (as he has one more chance to get some changes in before the print runs begin and the frequency of instances is bothering him).
So... yeah. Think of this as a more official "criticisms" thread. I probably won't see an ARC in time to scrutinize it as I did the draft and I realize a number of you no longer have access to one but this is our chance to mid-wif this narrative we know and love :).
Let's say, I need to have something back to Bakker in a week.
Thanks, everyone 8).
[EDIT: To clarify, these might be corrections that will only make it into Orbit's edition with the possibility of correction in Overlook's first edition, as well.]
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Crap, should have kept better notes. There are definitely a number of errors I noted, mostly more obvious ones regarding things like format/spelling, but I'm sure others.
Also, at least one botched section break in the later 3rd of the book.
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Also, at least one botched section break in the later 3rd of the book.
I'm not sure if I saw that. I did notice some part that seemed like a subtly different font on a paragraph.
I also could swear there was a part that was missing a definite article (I think, not a grammar wiz). I feel like it was in a Ishterebinth chapter, but it is hazy in my mind.
There was also the missing a page header in what I think was Chapter 3 (pretty sure it was a Momemn chapter).
I am leaving for my cross country journey today, but I will pack the book and run over it, perhaps while it is not my turn to drive.
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Can't really say I was tuned in on inconsistencies generally, so not sure I have much input on that front. However, owing to my obsession with maps, I did notice that the map itself lists a particular area as 'Yinwol' whereas in the text is was 'Yinwaul.'
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Anything like that, Som.
Anything at all, really.
Also, as per my edit above, these might not be changes that can make it into Overlook's first edition but will be addressed in Orbit's edition.
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Also, at least one botched section break in the later 3rd of the book.
I'm not sure if I saw that.
If you're looking at some point, I think its on a left hand page near the top. Has one of those funky double S things instead of the stylized/centered breaks that are typically used.
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Quick run-thru, this is what I found.
Looking at dates in the chapter headers. Should be 20 New Imperial Year (4132, Year-of-the-Tusk):
Chapter 2 (pg. 56): date is wrong, says 4123
Chapter 9 (pg. 241): date is wrong, says 4123
Section break graphic, pg. 218, is smaller than normal.
Section break graphic, pg. 356, is different than rest of book.
Yearly times: Aorsi (chapter 4) says Early Autumn, next GO chapter (10-Dagliash, pg. 267) says Late Summer. (s/b Early Autumn?)
Again, 13-Dagliash, pg. 334, says Late Summer (s/b Early/Mid Autumn?)
Again, 15-The River Sursa, pg. 411, says Late Summer. (s/b Mid Autumn?)
17-The Demua Mountains, pg. 462, says Late Summer. (s/b Mid Autumn?)
{{Kellhus arrives back in Momemn in Mid Autumn (according to Momemn chapters), AFTER the bomb. Calls into question the above times of year.}}
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On it.
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Thanks, everyone :).
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I believe at one point outside of Dagliash, lights are mentioned reflecting off the walls of Momemn, I'll see if I can track that down.
Also just flipping through, saw on page 105, at the top it says ''Chapter Title' instead of Momemn.
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Have a bunch of typos, wordos etc... Nearing completion of my second read through will have correction posted by Thursday. Hope that works.
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I believe at one point outside of Dagliash, lights are mentioned reflecting off the walls of Momemn, I'll see if I can track that down.
Also just flipping through, saw on page 105, at the top it says ''Chapter Title' instead of Momemn.
Thanks, Wic. Anything like that at all helps the final tapestry :).
Have a bunch of typos, wordos etc... Nearing completion of my second read through will have correction posted by Thursday. Hope that works.
Take your time. Cheers, Nil.
Lol - you rereaders are way ahead of the learning curve for this novel ;).
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Pp 329, towards bottom: "Was this what had she had wagered on her mad throw?"
Pp 330, middle paragraph: "And saw one the Tall stride from a crouch..."
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What's the error on those notations, Wic?
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What's the error on those notations, Wic?
I did the same thing. Read it more closely :P
"Was this what had she had wagered on her mad throw?" Extra word. Should read instead: "Was this what she had wagered on her mad throw"
"one the Tall" - missing word -'of'. Should read "And saw one of the Tall stride from a crouch..."
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Seems like:
Pg 329, extra 'had' right? 'Was this what HAD she had' should be 'Was this what she had'?
Pg 330, missing 'of the' 'And saw one the Tall' becomes 'And saw one of the Tall'?
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What's the error on those notations, Wic?
I did the same thing. Read it more closely :P
"Was this what had she had wagered on her mad throw?" Extra word. Should read instead: "Was this what she had wagered on her mad throw"
"one the Tall" - missing word -'of'. Should read "And saw one of the Tall stride from a crouch..."
Seems like:
Pg 329, extra 'had' right? 'Was this what HAD she had' should be 'Was this what she had'?
Pg 330, missing 'of the' 'And saw one the Tall' becomes 'And saw one of the Tall'?
Its funny how easily things like that are missed. I read the sentences twice without seeing a problem. Had to focus on it it word by word (rather than as a complete sentence) to find the errors, which should be very obvious. I do not envy those who edit such things.
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So true.
Those are the kinds of errors in "scrutinizing" the draft that took sentence by sentence readings to catch.
I'm not aware of it being documented (though, I'm sure it must be) but the brain accounts for many of these errors in perceptual correction just as our barins olny need the fisrt and lsat letetrs in tehse wrods to srot them out.
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Doesnt work nearly so well when you're thinking about it though ;)
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Here are my corrections so far. May have a couple of duplicates with prior posters. Only have about 50 more pages to go...
p.53 “what most irks you most” - 2nd paragraph from top - to
p.60 “…soul when she leapt (slept).” – Last paragraph
p.74 “…he glimpse(d) white wings…” – Paragraph beginning with “A Silence…”
p. 83 “…as much as too (to) his feet,…” - Paragraph beginning with “Yes,” the man replied…”
P. 114 “…a kind (of) black moss…” – 1st paragraph
p. 172 “(The) Padirajah finally whirled…” – 3rd line from top
p. 221 “Mimara…he says as if she (he) were her tutor…” – 3rd line from top
p. 221 “…rudiments of sowing (sewing)…” – Last paragraph
p. 235 “…none of these are here (her) own…” – 7th line from top
p. 322 “…tell me if you were you to find your father’s shade…” - Paragraph beginning with “Tell me manling…”
p. 329 “…the realization the (that) she had failed…” – 9th line up from bottom
p. 330 “…and saw one (of) the Tall…” – Middle of page
p. 352 “…surged as one glittering sheet toward their their foe…” – 3rd line from bottom
p. 386 “…and the monitor happened upon a wane (wan) flare of solace…” - 9th line from top
p. 389 “…a great contest was about to (be) waged.” – 4th line from bottom
P 407 “…and he yet he…” – 2nd paragraph
p. 431 “…as surely as it did on the Malowebi’s own…” – 3rd paragraph
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You're awesome Nil Sertrax. Thanks for the hard work.
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Ha, my bad, I should've put some notation in there. Next time!
Errors like that hurt my eyes when I come across them, like a sudden discontinuity in the flow. Looking at Nil's post, I remember most of those like emotional scars.
Also, excellent job Nil!
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Thanks very much, Nil :).
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Here are the remaining from the last 50 pages...
p. 443 “…but the image (of) Theliopa so…ruined…” – 6th line from bottom
p. 468 “Tiresome pendant (pedant). – 12th line from top
p. 484 “The wane (wan) image of his… - Middle of page
p. 487 “The boy sought merely sought asylum” or “The boy sought (…) merely sought asylum” - 9th line from top
There is also the issue of the decapitants being mentioned as "...bound to his (Kellhus') girdle" when Kellhus met Esmi in Momemn. Given that Kellhus has previously taken one of the heads and used it on the body of Malowebi this might be a continuity error. It might also be intentional misdirection on Bakker's part thus I didn't want to say for certain it was an error.
Gentlemen...My work here is done! ;D
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Ah, Nil. But measure is unceasing... Old measure is simply grounds for the new ;).
But again, thanks very much :).
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aphorism formatting is all fucked up. All attributions should be in the following format:
AUTHOR, TITLE
all caps for both, Titles are always in italics Author is always first.
the aphorisms in the ARC are just willynilly formatted in a variety of forms.
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Thanks, locke :).
The first aphorism in this one really stands out, eh?
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Yes, and all the rules of benjuka.
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Somewhere it said "Faminry" instead of "Fanimry."
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Thanks, Trisk.