Idealism: You have two cow thoughts. Who needs milk? That's more than enough.
Panpsychism: You have two cows made up of thousands of cow particles. How this works, nobody knows.
Materialism: There are no cows, no milk, no you. Just atoms in the Void.
Dualism: You have two cows. You make a bunch of hamburgers, and now you have two infinitely precious cow souls which is way better than actual cows.
Creationism: Those cow fossils were put in the ground by Satan. Also, in the Garden of Eden cows gave out strawberry and chocolate milk.
Nondualism: By milking the cows, you are milking yourself....Stop snickering and get those filthy thoughts out of the One Mind!
Mysterianism: I think you have two cows, but I'm too lazy to check.