I loved Untitled! You channeled Bakker wonderfully! Love the back and forth seswatha and present. This is not a small matter for me, you nailed all the names of things and people. That's one of the reasons I like Bakker's stuff, his names have fantasy resonance and you did it awesomely as well. I don't think I could ever do that. There I am trying to write fanfic like you and I'm stuck because all I can think of for my Mandati is Bluurglyp, Shsmoortvlunt, or Traalwoofdinklabloi. Seriously, that's great what you did.
My only complaint is: IT'S NOT LONG ENOUGH!!! Would love to have read more.
Oooohhhh, could you have Aurang show up and he talks with the skinspy and you reveal that it's one of the same skinspies that will later be Sarcellus? Could you have a guy hanging around in the backdrop as a possible spy for the dunyain? I guess Aurang synthese can't be there though, cause of the anarcanity. Somehow I imagined that the mandati in atrithau might be pale--like it's so hard to traverse the distance from mandate hq to atrithau, that really the mission is it's own little school? But that wouldn't be right, they have no mumified turd-heart to grasp.
So, I guess I wouldn't change anything except maybe make it longer--have the POV follow the skinspies around as they murder the mandati 1,2,3. One schoolman battling right at the border of anarcane ground, one battling back at the lonely tower against skinspies with chorae. Bashrag and sranc are there too, but that's unsurprising because that's what happens every saturday night. Maybe the skinspy rips out the mandati's heart and has an eye in it and he eats it but dies choking. More memory stuff about Seswatha's betrayal!
Oooohhh, have a part where one of the mandati think they are close to uncovering an ancient secret--then they get way way way down in an old hole and they find...THE HERON SPEAR! Lol, their guide is a skin spy and has lured them into a den of skin spies. Schoolman does what any terrified sorcerer without magic would do, turns the heron spear on his enemies. Lol, it's a fake. They are all murdered and eaten but in reverse order. Dying schoolman get a cool, sort of redeeming super secret mysterious memory from Seswatha as they die. Or maybe Seswatha blocks out the suffering by running reels of hot sex which is weird because they are literally getting sex just then but its the bad kind. Skinspies open a deli the next day, serve mandati as 'ham' to Atrithauians, each other.
I liked your story a lot--all that rambliness is a measure of how much! You got my Earwa brain going! Looking forward to reading your other ones too!
EDIT: breaking up the text