Earwa > The Darkness That Comes Before

What is the meaning of a deluded life?

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What Came Before:

--- Quote from: Truth Shines ---Serwe...

Re-reading her "introduction" in the Hethanta Mountains, I can't help but notice something...

"She was Serwe.  She was nothing."
"The fact of her nothingness was a lesson hard learned."
"Serwe had though herself something then."
"She had heard many tales of suffering, to be sure, but then the hardships related had always been ennobling, encased in morals, and containing lessons she had already learned.  Besides, even if fate did betray her... she would be steadfast and heroic, a beacon of strength for the flagging souls about her."
"Other than pride in their ardour, pleasure in their gratification, what else did she have?"
"And she continued praying to the idols... She, Serwe, had to mean something, hadn't she?  All she wanted was some sign, something, anything..."
"Despite all her vanities and all her peevish sins, she meant something."
"...but she had continued praying.  Show them!  Please!  Show them I mean something..."
"...she had understood.  There was only whim.  There was only submission.  There was only pain, death, and dread."

Hers of course is a tale of suffering.  The interesting thing, upon this rereading (what, the fourth, or fifth time?), is this motif -- she wants to "mean something."  With Kehllhus, of course, she will.  Or at least in her own mind.

So then, the question comes back -- what is the meaning of a deluded life?

Ah measure is indeed unceasing...
--- End quote ---

What Came Before:

--- Quote from: Callan S. ---It's also like she doesn't want raw martial ability that could physically empower herself (to be, like, not so treated as she is) - she just wants raw meaning. Whatever happens, it's the meaning that matters, not what happens to her. As long as what happens to her has meaning, gives her meaning, makes her meaningful...
--- End quote ---

What Came Before:

--- Quote from: Truth Shines ---Agreed.  Continuing my re-reading, continuing this intriguing story line of Serwe:

As the three of them try to evade the Nansur pursuers, Serwe falls deeper into Kellhus' trance, we read...

"...  What was impossible was that a God might walk now, that a god might fall in love with her, with Serwe, the daughter sold to House Gaunum.  But perhaps this was the meaning of her beauty, the reason she had suffered the venal covetousness of man after man.  She was also something too beautiful for the world, something awaiting the arrival of her betrothed.  Anasurimbor Kellhus."

While in the camp of the Holy War, we read...

[Kellhus speaking to Serwe] "...when the world denies us over and over, when it punishes us as it's punished you, Serwe, it becomes difficult to understand the meaning.  All our pleas go unanswered.  Our every trust is betrayed.  Our hopes are all crushed.  It seems we mean nothing to the world...  You mean something, Serwe.  you are something.  This whole world is steeped in meaning.  Everything, even your suffering, has sacred meaning.  Even your suffering has a crucial role to play."

"... but for a moment she almost felt whole, speaking their secret language [Kellhus speaks Nymbricani with her], saying tender things...  I mean something."

Increasingly, it seems Serwe can be read (I shall not speculate on if this is Bakker's intention) as a devastating indictment of religion in general: a thoroughly deluded mind, crushed by harsh realities, lured by the promise of meaning, in the end betrayed -- yet through it all, experiencing a subjective happiness the likes of which more sober, skeptical minds (such as that of Achamian) can never hope to obtain.  Is it really such a bad bargain?

The question originally posed was -- "What is the meaning of a deluded life?"

Perhaps the answer is -- "Only a deluded life has meaning."  :o

Man I love this book.  So ass-kicking awesome.
--- End quote ---

What Came Before:

--- Quote from: Callan S. ---When the yardsticks for what is a good or bad bargain are thrown in the air by the bargain itself, how do you judge anymore?

If you look at her time line - if she could have had food, shelter and simple joys instead of her past, would she be at the point where she'd want this bargain? Would the Serwe of that past be in such a need of this bargain?

If not so much, how is it such a bargain?

But she is swollowed up by her history, like all of us. Measuring the now by the now.

That's currently the only way I can argue that bargain.
--- End quote ---

What Came Before:

--- Quote from: Bakker User ---I'm not sure I understand the above post very well.


--- Quote ---When the yardsticks for what is a good or bad bargain are thrown in the air by the bargain itself, how do you judge anymore?
--- End quote ---

Was that the case?


--- Quote ---If you look at her time line - if she could have had food, shelter and simple joys instead of her past,
--- End quote ---

She had the first two, didn't she?


--- Quote ---would she be at the point where she'd want this bargain? Would the Serwe of that past be in such a need of this bargain?
--- End quote ---

I.e. would she settle for the "bargain" had her life gone just great up to that point?


--- Quote ---If not so much, how is it such a bargain?
--- End quote ---

This is the most confusing bit to me. Exchanging $X for whatever is not a good bargain because in another life, one may have gone on to be a millionaire?


--- Quote ---But she is swollowed up by her history, like all of us. Measuring the now by the now.
--- End quote ---

I feel like the latter belies the former somehow.

Don't take this the wrong way, but from the Three Seas to the ASOIAF boards to 3PB to here, your posts have rarely not confused me.  :(
--- End quote ---

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