The Second Apocalypse

Other Titles => Short Stories & Others => Topic started by: Madness on May 15, 2014, 03:37:04 pm

Title: The Long Held Breath
Post by: Madness on May 15, 2014, 03:37:04 pm
The Long Held Breath (http://rsbakker.wordpress.com/stories/the-long-held-breath/)

A Bakker short, mentioned to have been used in a creative writing class, but ultimately revealed as a portion of Light, Time, and Gravity.
Title: Re: The Long Held Breath
Post by: Aural on May 15, 2014, 04:20:14 pm
So, this is a story about peeing? What's next? The black urine?
Title: Re: The Long Held Breath
Post by: Royce on May 15, 2014, 06:29:24 pm
Quote
So, this is a story about peeing? What's next? The black urine?

The inverse anus is his next installment. Are you sure the message is about peeing? :)
Title: Re: The Long Held Breath
Post by: Madness on May 19, 2014, 08:29:00 pm
I thought it was about being bullied?
Title: Re: The Long Held Breath
Post by: Aural on May 19, 2014, 09:02:32 pm
The inverse anus is his next installment.

The sad thing is that I honestly wouldn't put it beyond him. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if the third series in TSA is actually the Inverse Anus.
Title: Re: The Long Held Breath
Post by: Garet Jax on June 05, 2014, 01:23:37 pm
I thought it was more about being the bully and the ego it creates.

Good short though.
Title: Re: The Long Held Breath
Post by: SilentRoamer on August 08, 2014, 06:35:54 pm
“Bease!” he cried through snot and cramp and fire. “Bease! Leave me alone!“

This is naked Bakker. It is such a powerful sentence; snot and cramp and fire are just so evocative, coupled with the distortion of speech this paints a fantasticly vivid scene for me. This could have come out of the mouth of any Inchie/Sranc/Cnaiur prisoner.