Miscellaneous Chatter > General Misc.
The Collected Sayings of Cu'jara Cinmoi
What Came Before:
--- Quote from: Madness ---
--- Quote from: Cu'jara Cinmoi, Aphorisms & Definitions, Jan 2013 ---Gun Control: Nature's way of assuring the old cannot be as dangerous as the young. Jan 4/13
Fiscal Cliff: An advanced yoga technique that requires placing one's nose firmly between one's buttocks, while smelling only justice. Jan 4/13
Professor: A bureaucratic position created so social misfits could feel important in addition to lonely. Jan 6/13
Happy: A neurochemical imbalance of the cock. Jan 7/13
Tenure: A social control mechanism designed to rob potential radicals of any incentive to communicate to the masses. Jan 8/13
If science is the Priest and nature is the Holy Spirit, then you, my unfortunate friend, are Linda Blair. Jan 8/13
Prison: A multicellular organism that consumes social waste and excretes organized crime. Jan 9/13
Irony: See, Serious, Painfully so. Jan 10/13
University Education: A popular way for young men to pursue their porn, video-game, and marijuana addictions into their early 30's. Jan 11/13
Winter: The primary reason Canada is almost entirely empty. Jan 12/13
Secularism: Ideology founded on the observation that ideology makes humans even stupider than they already are. Jan 14/13
Testicles: Organs too lazy to get out of the sack. Jan 15/13
English Professor: Individual trained to be unintelligible to English speakers. Jan 16/13
Canada: The geopolitical equivalent of a bad hair day. Jan 17/13
Court: A place where the poor go to discover that the rich send their children to law school. Jan 18/13
That it feels so unnatural to conceive ourselves as natural is itself a decisive expression of our nature. Jan 18/13
Campaign Finance Reform: Proof that corporate greed can create a rock so heavy that not even the Supreme Court can lift it. Jan 19/13
Cardboard: Building material commonly used in the construction of personalities. Jan 20/13
Plastic: Form of currency designed to row you deep into a lake then drown you. Jan 21/13
This? Yeah, well, dope smoke that, motherfucker. Jan 21/13
Heaven: An innovative insurance vehicle that disburses funds directly to the deceased. Jan 22/13
Mortgage: Breakthrough psychological discovery that slaves will work harder if you let them whip themselves. Jan 23/13
At least a flamingo has a leg to stand on. Jan 23/13
Brain: Organ ostensibly located in the cranium, but commonly found elsewhere, such as the gastric or rectal cavities, or the cock. Jan 24/13
Insight: What happens when a new blindness makes an old blindness its bitch. Jan 25/13
Blog: Picture window where words go to and fro pretending not to be nude. Jan 26/13
Dessert: Noise preventing toilet paper divination from becoming a true science. Jan 27/13
Imagination: Human psychological faculty dedicated to the production of aggrandizing thoughts, irrational fears, and sexual imagery. Jan 28/13
Some argue against yesterday. Some argue against tomorrow. But everyone kisses ass when it comes to today. Jan 28/13
Hope: Nonsense sound commonly made when trying to say ‘dope’ while actually inhaling dope. Jan 29/13
Definition: This, only more informative. Jan 30/13
Infinity: An infamous conceptual sop for mind-numbing tedium. Jan 31/13
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What Came Before:
--- Quote from: Curethan ---Nice. I just blew a half hour reading them :)
Probly shoulda asked me to look out for spacing errors beforehand, brother ;)
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What Came Before:
--- Quote from: Madness ---It's alright, I think I've got all the ones I missed. Now just to do the original italics at some point.
Cheers, Curethan. I'm going to have to print a quotable Bakker, condense this shit down to some pithy little book. Lmao. Or Bakker could just publish them that way for me ;). I'll buy an e-book of Aphorisms & Definitions for a fiver. Lol, It'll give me more interesting things to shout at people from the corner.
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What Came Before:
--- Quote from: Duskweaver ---
--- Quote ---I'll buy an e-book of Aphorisms & Definitions for a fiver.
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"The No-God's Dictionary"?
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What Came Before:
--- Quote from: Madness ---+1 Duskweaver.
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