Faithless by Graham Austin-King
(15)I think this must have been free on Kindle at some point, but I don't remember ordering it. It's...ok. There is a good story in there, but there were enough little things to detract from it being great or even good. Part, I think, comes down to editing. There were more than a few awkward sentences. Sometimes a line would say nearly the same thing as one a couple paragraphs before. Sometimes a sentence would have a description at odds with what had earlier been described. The biggest issue is how the story was structured. It is basically told in two parallel stories/povs, which at points are too similar.
As it turns out these two seemingly parallel plots are actually a before/after of one pov. There's no need for it. It doesn't serve the plot in any interesting way. The divide between the two is almost arbitrarily selected. The story should have just been told chronologically. Maybe someone decided it was too boring that way, I don't know. I think it made a decent story worse.
It sounds terrible, but I didn't hate it. There were some neat ideas in there, and it wasn't too long. There were occasional glimpses of what could become a good author. I just think he needs a good editor or better feedback on early drafts.