Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Messages - Phallus Pendulus

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 5
General Earwa / Re: Save Bakker's The Unholy Consult
« on: July 09, 2015, 03:08:05 pm »
Thanks for the address.

I shall email Overlook and let them know what will happen to their honeyed anuses if they don't release TuC within this year

Literature / Re: Peter Watts thread
« on: July 09, 2015, 03:06:57 pm »
I really liked the Rifters books as well, Watts is a genius. He reminds me of Bakker in a lot of ways, but with more scientific know-how and less black semen.

I'm probably the only one who liked the Rifters trilogy better than Blindsight...the idea of a sci-fi horror story with non-self-aware aliens is cool, but the techno-geekery and pedantic detail was a bit much for me

Lawrence and Abercrombie are fucking awful, and you guys should be ashamed of yourselves for recommending them.

General Earwa / Re: Bakkerisms IRL
« on: November 27, 2014, 11:29:18 am »
"I only fuck the meat" is a regular phrase in my household.

General Earwa / Re: Crazy Ass Speculation Thread
« on: November 11, 2014, 02:59:08 pm »
This isn't actually my theory.  My mother pitched this one to me.
A mother reading TSA is fascinating speculation. Could it be true?

What do you mean, it's weird? I re-enact the Ikurei Xerius chapters with my mother every weekend.

General Earwa / Re: How have the inchoroi escaped the fate of nonmen?
« on: November 11, 2014, 02:53:10 pm »
The obvious answer is that Inchoroi are naturally immortal, or have bio-engineered themselves that way, while the Nonmen were naturally mortal before their "upgrade".

So the Nonmen go crazy when their brains can't handle all that memory, while the Inchoroi enjoy their endless lives of bukkake and anal felching, as God meant them to.

General Earwa / Re: TSA Halloween
« on: November 10, 2014, 02:28:55 pm »
I tried to get my girlfriend to be Esmi, my son to be an "Inchoroi" (just a black full body onesie that had 1" letters reading "I am Inchoroi" on the front/back), and I was going to dress up as my interpretation of The Nonmen.

She was all for it until I described what the Inchoroi are.  Now she is going to be a farmer, he is going to be a cow, and I am pissed off.

Garet Jax has won the thread. You are a better man than I.

Literature / Re: Sci Fi series as good as The Second Apocalypse?
« on: August 12, 2014, 08:51:54 pm »
"The Steel Remains" was one of the worst pieces of shit I've read within this year.

The whole book was basically Morgan shrieking "I'M GAY! FUCK YOU, DAD!!!11" The prose was awful and try-hard, reminded by of a limp-wristed Tumblr post.

"Black Man" was really good, though.

Literature / Re: Culture series by Iain M Banks
« on: August 12, 2014, 08:42:01 pm »
"Wasp Factory" is brilliant, probably my favorite book by Banks.

I don't think the sci-fi stuff was his strongest side. "Wasp Factory" was so good because it was totally demented but somewhat grounded in our reality, it being set in '90s Scotland and all. Just the right mix of batshit insanity and plausible reality.

His best sci-fi books are those with the least sci-fi in them, like "Player of Games" (which is about cultural relativism and interventionism) and "Use of Weapons" (which is about unreliable narration, bizarro chronology, and homemade furniture).

General Misc. / Re: Disseminating Bakker - Bookmarks
« on: August 12, 2014, 08:32:22 pm »
I mistook the thread's title as "Inseminating Bakker", and was about to dispense a few illuminating ideas.

Never mind, carry on

General Earwa / Re: Dunyain as possible runaway weapon race.
« on: August 12, 2014, 08:29:12 pm »
If this was a genuine Bakker text:

"Pragma Wilshire, Where do children come from?"

The sensation of Wilshire's obscene phallus in his rectum sent the young monk reeling. And, yet, the obscene sensation was not entirely painful...

"Repeat the proposition!"

Ever are all men deceived.

He gasped in obscenely obscene joy.

General Earwa / Re: Bakker and Tolkien
« on: August 12, 2014, 08:21:24 pm »
I was reading the Silmarillion the other day, I noticed that the first Elves (those who were directly given life by God and woke up by that lake) were exactly 144, 000.

General Earwa / Re: Emwama
« on: July 27, 2014, 08:02:30 am »
According to Akka, Meori refugees did liberate Eamwans from Cil Aujis though iirc.

Mimara pretty much says right out that the Emwamans being used as human livestock was what made Nostol's guys turn on the Nonmen.

sounds a lot more likely than Akka's bizarro theories about the Meori being butt-buddies of the Ishroi and that Nostol's evil plan was to destroy Cil Aujas with anal herpes, or whatever...he's really been reading too much of that Inchoroi stuff

General Earwa / Re: Emwama
« on: July 27, 2014, 06:51:25 am »
I think they were pretty much culturally absorbed by the Ketyai in the Meori empire.

The Meori were Norsirai...they were the guys who freaked out and backstabbed the Nonmen in Cil Aujas

General Earwa / Re: Emwama
« on: July 26, 2014, 11:04:06 pm »
If the Ketyai are Mediterraneans, the Norsirai are Nordics/Germanics, the Zeumi are Subsaharan blacks, and the Xiuhanni are East-Asians, what race are the Emwama?

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 5